skinny

I weigh 128 pounds
In society, this number defines me. This number IS me.
My goal? 110 pounds. Maybe then my number isn’t a bulldozer trying to run me over. Maybe then those girls at school won’t pressure me into throwing up in the bathroom. Maybe then, i’ll be skinny.

I weigh 110 pounds.
In society, this number defines me. This number IS me.
My goal? 100 pounds. Maybe then the people at my school won’t call me fat instead they will be wishing they were like me. Maybe then i will be able to wear a tanktop or a tight dress and my fat won’t show. Maybe then, i’ll be considered skinny.

I weigh 100 pounds.
In society, this number defines me. This number IS me.
My goal? 0 pounds. Maybe then the bullying will stop. Maybe then i’ll finally be happy with myself. Maybe then the pain will end.
But will it?

My number bumps back up to 128
The bullying starts again. Well actually, the bullying never stopped.
I look at magazines where i swear i see the models scream at me “you NEED to lose weight”. Sometimes the models scream more than just that. And i listen to them, because EVERYONE loves them. I see the girls in my school who look good in anything, who the boys chase like a fat kid chases the cake. Although i am that fat kid.
But am i?

Am i really that fat kid or is that just what society brings me out to be?
Is 128 pounds actually fat? It’s not. Then why do people act that way?
Why do people act like you have to be able to see your ribs in order for you to be beautiful?
It’s not that way.
We are beautiful no matter what that number is. We are beautiful no matter the color of our skin. We are beautiful no matter what.
But society leads us to believe we arent. Society leads us to believe that we aren’t skinny or beautiful. And we never will be until we become those models. Until we get that plastic surgery to fix our faces, to make our butts or boobs bigger. And this doesn’t just happen to the girls it happens to EVERYONE.
Boys get bullied for not being fit enough, or for actually being smart. Society leads them to believe that if they aren’t on the football team or if they’re MIT worthy, then they aren’t cool.

We judge everyone on everything. From to the clothes they wear, to the places they grew up in. It doesn’t change.
Society kills us. But we are society. We bully people. We try to fit in by bullying people. But bullying doesn’t help anyone.

I weigh 128 pounds.
In society, this number defines me. But this number isn’t me.
I am beautiful.
No matter what people say.
And so are you.