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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Comedy · #2179996
Jimmy wishes he could be a stronger kicker, but be careful what you wish for...
Little Jimmy McJojo dreamed of playing football, but alas he was no good at it.
"Little Jimmy the Wienie" they would all say. Every time he would try to kick the ball he would either comically miss or he would only manage to kick it a few feet. Once, the football actually broke his toe.
One night, he prayed to God with all his might and heart to be a better kicker and he suddenly felt a new confidence. The next day, he tried to kick the football again and it flew very far with great speed and force. Unfortunately, it hit a boy who was walking by, killing him instantly. Jimmy wept at what had happened and tried to delude himself that it wasn't his fault.
"Maybe he was about to die anyway!" he exclaimed. "Let me try that again!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" his coach yelled, with fear in his eyes.
But Jimmy kicked another ball even harder and it blew right through the coach's stomach. He obviously died.
"Oh no!" Jimmy wept. "There is no denying it now! I am a killer!"
In frustration, Jimmy kicked the air and his shoe flew off and hit a building, causing it to collapse, killing many.
"I'm a monster!" Jimmy cried. "My foot is evil! It must be stopped!"
Jimmy used an electric circular saw to cut off his foot. Once it was removed, it started to glow and then exploded with the force of an atom bomb, destroying the town.

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