I Wish

I wish my father hadn't abandoned me at the age of two.
I wish my mum and I had never met my stepfather (The Obeah Man).
I wish my brother was still alive.
I wish that I'd been there for him by his side on the day that he died.
I wish I hadn't joined the god damned army.
I wish I had never heard of the Falkland Islands.
I wish I had never gone to war.
I wish that I had never fired my gun in anger.
I wish that there is no such thing as a body bag.
I wish my dead comrades could still be by my side.
I wish I could have brought them home. Alive.
I wish that I could have truly loved the woman I married.
I wish I could have been a happy and love father to my children.
I wish I could walk down the street without feeling threatened.
I wish that I wasn't so angry.
I wish I was deaf to the sound the annoy me.
I wish I was blind to the images that remined me.
I wish I could get the voices of the dead out of my head.
I wish that I could be happy for just one day.
I wish I could smile more.
I wish I could sleep for more than three hours a night.
I wish I didn't have nightmares where I end up in a fight.
I wish I could feel good about myself. Just once before I die.
I wish.