Happy Birthday Anyway

My friend, I have something to tell you,
It is something you need to be told.
I know you don't want to hear it --
You're old, you're old, you're old.

Inside you still feel like a youngster,
Strong and swift and bold,
But you can't remember what day it is
'Cause you're old, you're old, you're old.

Happy Birthday anyway.
We're surprised you made it this far.
Birthdays are better than funerals.
Just be glad you're still here -- we are.

Where did you leave the damn car keys?
And what were you just looking for?
And what is the word for that thing – oh, you know?
Your memory's no good anymore.

Once you studied the great books and history
You read the philosophers too.
Now you can't tell Iran from Iraq on a map
And you can't tell Brazil from Peru.

Happy Birthday anyway.
We're surprised you lasted this long.
We thought you’d be buried a long time ago.
Just be glad that we were so wrong.

Once you knew all the words to whole albums.
You could sing Sergeant Pepper straight through
But today you can't name even 4 Rolling Stones,
And you can't quite complete a Sudoku.

Happy Birthday anyway.
The years go by so fast.
We're happy you're having this birthday.
And we hope that it isn't your last.
Oh no... we hope that it isn't your last.