The Silence Of Despair

I burrow my head in the loud droning sounds of the heater,
As it kicks off, drowning my sorrows in white noise.
There is a weakness within, I had never known;
It consumes me to the nest of my soul,
Drowning me in self-doubt and the awakening of lost love.

I keep the curtains closed and remain entirely still,
As the hours melt away with the daylight.
My despair lurks in the shadows,
Every so often standing beside my bed,
To see if I am awake.
I fake sleep as it drifts off to wait elsewhere.
Yet through closed eyelids, I attempt to imagine her
as she was,
And the scent she effortlessly carried with her,
And the notes in her soft voice so full of life,
reduced to an imaginary whisper.
And the way she allowed her soft brown hair
To catch the sun,
And how she could destroy my malicious imagination with a strategically placed, "I love you!"
And how her tears would instantly soak her eye's,

Yet all is dusted in a ruin stranded in my slow fading memory.
With the re-opening of my eyelids, she drifts back to the dead
where she will remain forever!

I sit up and take a sip of water
And flip open the book near my bedside
I begin to read the first sentence!
The despair is silenced!
All is music now!