Roy's story

I don't know why I am here, or what is happening. All I knew is, it was cold, it was snowing, and my Mom was running. She was running, carrying me in roughly in her maw and that's how I woke up, squeaking in protest of the rough treatment. She ran from the terror that was behind us, howls of war and murder. Suddenly she tripped, I was thrown into the air, she stood, ran to scoop me up but her legs failed her and she collapsed around me. Nuzzling me comfortingly she whispered, "Run, hide my darling, run!" I didn't know what to do; I was scared of whatever it was she was running from, of the howls that were chasing us. I moved closer to her, wanting to remain safe in her embrace. She quickly snatched me up and threw me away; I landed in the snow. I tried to walk back to her but she growled. "Run, get away from here, they won't stop until you're dead. Run! There's wooden den" she jerked her head." That way go until you reach it." Whimpering I walked closer, she growled again, I stopped. "GO!" She snarled.

Frightened I ran through snow, to where I did not know. My eyes squeezed shut because I could not bear the freezing wind blowing around me. All I knew was I was now running through the cold. A eruption of howls signified they had caught up to Mom and were renewing the chase. Another howl shortly after, short and yappy, they didn't have what they wanted. I heard paws in the snow rushing up behind me. With three leaps I managed to get out of the way before they were pounding the path I was on.

Hiding in a bush I peeked out. A black manned wolf stood sniffing the ground. "Sir," Another wolf called from behind, "The snow is making it impossible to track him. He's only a puppy what are the odds he'll survive and we have his mother, there's no hope for his survival." The Black wolf turned revealing fresh scars deeply buried from his muzzle up to his eye. He smiled cruely and leapt at the wolf that had spoken.

"He's only a puppy?" The black one laughed, "His father was barely more than a pup and he did this to my face." A blood curling yelp rang out from the wolf as the leader bit down on the wolf's chest and ripped the fur and flesh leaving a blood smear all over the ground. The smell of another wolf's blood and gore was sickening; I stifled the urge to throw up. The black wolf left the other on the ground bleeding. The smell of several wolves approached, "This is the punishment for failure!" He growled, "Learn from it or follow suit! The pup is as good as dead without someone to help him stay warm, he'll be a ice before midnight" He laughed, and lead the pack away.

I sat there frozen with fear, when I summoned enough courage to peek out the body of the wolf that had been attacked lay curled up, melting the snow around him in a red slush. I thought about going and warming myself next to him, but what if he was still alive. Rather than risk it I left him alone, I remembered what Mom had said, "Run they won't stop until they think you're dead." So I did. I was weaned a few weeks ago. I can do this, I encouraged myself and marched away from the wolves. I didn't know where to go, all I could do was run from the pack, they thought I'd be dead by midnight, but I was going to survive. Somehow.

I trudged through the snow each step felt like icy teeth clawed into my face, thorns stabbed into my bleeding pads, and a new layer of ice clung to my fur. The cold and icy winds took their toll on my body. I was young, I was not stupid, I knew why they said I wouldn't last till midnight, I was going to freeze to death. I wept fearing the end, but spitefully they just froze to my face. I walked until I could no longer move, I was so cold and it was strangely becoming welcoming. I was about to give in when a scent wafted through the air, it was weak but it was warmth. All I cared about right then was that warmth meant safety and survival. I forced myself to move, not caring about my weakness, not caring about the pain, I moved forward. The scent grew stronger, and the wind grew weaker as I found myself in the shadow of the place that was giving off the scent. I hit something in the snow, it was a set of wooden blocks which led up to a den. I crawled up the step finding myself with the in a small cave, A wooden barrier hid the light and warmth behind it, an impossible barrier taunting me at the end. Still I went up to the barrier and smelt the warmth coming through the door; it reinvigorated my body to feel even the slightest amount of warmth. Earnestly I scratched and dug at the barrier trying to work a hole, or maybe push it and break it. I dug and dug until the pads on my feet bled and my nails were rubbed down to the stubs, but even then I continued to scratch and scratch and until I was utterly exhausted. In the state I was in that wasn't very long, I kept pawing and pawing at the door until my body wouldn't respond. My exhaustion and the icy cold had finally overcome my will power; I was going to die out here. Tears formed on my eyes and froze there again, I had failed my mother, I was going to die and let her down and worst of it all I didn't know why. I looked up, one final attempt to get something to happen, I tried with all my strength to push the door open, but I didn't even reach the door, my neck froze stiff in place I whimpered and whined with what energy I had, begging something to happen happen, but the cold took me. My vision became hazy; I could barely keep my eyes open. Suddenly the barrier opened and a bright light shone through. I remember feeling weightless and warm for a brief moment, the fell into unconsciousness and remembered no more.
Warmth, a warm tongue on my paws and pads, a cleaning pass on my head, then warm and finally dry, I had forgotten what dry felt like. Born in what the elders called the late season the world only seemed to get colder, slushier and wetter. Now warm and comfortable was my only sensation and I knew that I had survived the cold. Then pain set in, shooting through my legs, toes, and tail. Like fireweed burning my limbs, each nerve on fire, tearing me from sleep. My eyes would open but the light was so bright I couldn't see, the pain shooting through my body was more then I could handle and I felt cold then numb then nothing again.

The next thing I felt was a tingling sensation on my back and tail, it felt like I had laid on my legs for to long when they became numb and prickly then suddenly a sharp pain in my tail and then nothing again, the pain slowly faded into blissful rest.

I finally came to enough to feel each part of my body, it was stiff and difficult. I tried to open my eyes but it was too bright. In the short time I had them open everything was a blur. I slowly stretched exploring my body, all four legs, paws, toes, nose, ears, movement caught my ear, pads and claw moving across a hard surface. I opened my eyes slowly it was still blurry and bright. I couldn't see very well but I could see a shape poking at the light source. My vision slowly began to clear, I could make out four legs, brown fur, tail, ears, a large boxy head on a long thin body. It was a dog pushing and pulling a stick in and out of the light source. A mouth with some piece of wood with an orange and yellow tongue engulfing it inside. That was warm and my instincts knew what it was before I did: FIRE, my instincts screamed GET AWAY. Panic sank in. I tried to move but my limbs would not respond. "So you're awake?" It came closer; I growled and tried to sound tough. I didn't want this dog coming near me, who knows what it would do. It, he, laughed, "Oh, a tough guy huh? Probably a good thing you're paralyzed I wouldn't stand a chance." Despite his teasing I snarled.

"What did you do?" I coughed barely getting a growl out. I could see a little better; a Large dog was standing before me. He was middle-aged with a primarily brown coat but his back had black spots on it that looked like a target on a brown field.

"Me? You're the one who nearly died. Your body is still recovering from a few days ago. You should be grateful I was able to save your toes and half a tail." My tail! I looked down; half of it was missing, just gone I had a white tip that would entertain me for hours and now its's just a solid brown almost stub. "When you get older no one will know the difference at least the frostbite didn't go all the way up." I still couldn't move my legs, but I twitched my tail with some effort. It was solemn to see a part of my body just gone. While I was glad it wasn't a leg or the whole tail it was still. "What where you even doing out there, a pup your age should be breast feeding." I looked down, I didn't know what I was doing out here. As if reading my mind "You don't remember?" he chuckled not unkindly, after a moment he stood and turned back to tending the flame. "How did you find this place? There's no way you could have made it from the packs dens to here in that storm." I remembered Mom carrying me. "Your body is paralyzed not your mouth pup." He snarled annoyed, he was rather impatient, I was just a pup and you'd think he would have more empathy for me being injured and damaged.
"I don't know why I'm here." I snorted back, "My mom carried me out into the snow in the middle of the night and we were chased. There were wolves from the pack, they chased us, chased me! Mom told me to run to the wooden den and so I ran!" I snapped, It started off strong but it grew weaker and more teary as I approached, Mom was probably dead, my siblings were probably dead, my dad, nursery mate's, nurses. "You happy?" I cried. He looked me over again and shook his head.

"I apologize, is that all you know?" He asked sympathetically. I didn't want to talk about it, the wound was still too fresh and I didn't want some dog giving me sympathy. Tears welled up in my eyes and I turned away from the dog. He stood and started to approach. I growled and he backed up and smiled empathetically then went back to poking the fire with a stick.

I long moment passed before I calmed down. I had a moment to think about what was happening what could be happening. It was a strange experience, feeling like I had been suddenly forced to accept that people around me could die at any moment. That I was now the eldest member of my family, the only one left to carry on my father's name, and then remembering I didn't even know what his name was.

After a short while I found my body was starting to respond and as I looked over myself I realized I was clean. I had been covered in ice and dirt, which should be caked mud but none of that was on my legs or pads. I looked over at Rusty and frowned thoughtfully, he was the only person I knew right then I could, maybe, trust. He had saved me from dying, cleaned me up, and taken care of me for three days and I was thankful for that, but still he was a dog. It was my understanding that wolves and dogs did not tend to get along very well, border disputes were rarer now then before my time but they happened. Why would a dog save me, why would Mom send me to him? He prodded the fire a few times and then started talking again. "I went out to find out where you belonged the day after you showed up. The wolf pack had a coup and the whole Alpha family has been killed. They are in a complete disarray. Those that attempt to escape are being beaten, they have sweeping patrols searching the woods. You're one lucky pup to have escaped, the storm was your only saving grace I suppose." He stirred the fire a few more times. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to risk the entire pack coming down on my home. You'll have to leave once you've gathered your strength."

His words struck deep, I was alone. There was no where for me to go I couldn't go home, I couldn't stay here. Why did mom send me here if I was just going to be sent out into the cold. He looked to me then snapped back to the flame with a half snarl.

"Well I suppose you'll be safe here until you're old enough," He coughed, sending a flicker of embers up. "This house is the edge of your packs territory, they won't come immediately they have to get their own under control before they start looking for you again." I perked up. I could stay? My face must have said more than I intended. He looked at my face and narrowed his eyes. "Don't get any idea I'm not going to let you stay more than a month or two. Once you're old enough to hunt for yourself you're out."

"But I can't hunt, I've never done it before." He snorted annoyed. "My mom sent me here she said I'd be safe here. I don't know what she said..."

"I know why she said that." He smirked humored and walked around the room. My neck ached trying to follow him. It was the first time I actually looked around the room I lay in. It was indeed a wooden den, not something dogs or wolves could have built but logs stacked on top of each other. With various wooden figures decorating the room. One was a four legged table with smaller wooden fixture tucked into it. He paced back and forth, "Your mother thought The Trigger would be a safe place for her kid. Thought she'd get one over on me by sending me her kid in the middle of the night. But she had to go and die now I'm stuck with this kid." He whispered he last bit to himself and looked over his shoulder at me and chuckled.

A sudden flash of fear entered my heart at the name "The Trigger." I looked at him and was suddenly very frightful and it showed I tucked as far down as I could in the bed I was set in and avoided eye contact with as though my life depended on it. The Trigger was the name of a dog that lived outside the territory; he killed anyone and anything that entered his territory wolf, pig, bear, curious-pups-who-wandered-to-far-from-the-den. But he hadn't killed me, he had saved my life, I didn't know what to believe the boogyman was right in front of me and I wasn't dead. That knowledge still didn't make me any less wary of him.

"You're The 'Trigger'?" I asked frightened, He smiled again still humored.

"Yes little one, I'm called that by a few." He smiled. "But don't worry I don't kill pups unless they're very rude." He flashed a toothy grin my way. I didn't hold his gaze, I was too scared that I would make eye contact with him. Wolves don't make eye contact unless they're trying to stare the other wolf down, or they're equal ranked, otherwise it was deathly rude for someone of lower rank to make eye contact. He must've known, he shook his head and walked over with a chuckle. He walked over to me and sat down and looked me in the eyes. He had softness in them that I'd only seen from my parents before. "Don't worry little one, I told you that you would be safe here until you come of age to leave on your own." He reached up and patted my head. Then he laughed and said jokingly. "Besides you're too small to even make a decent meal out of." I didn't like the joke, but I chuckled lightly anyway.

It took a few days for me to get complete feeling back in my legs, during that time the feeling of the legs slowly coming back to life was very painful. The feeling of having pins and needles off and on for hours at a time was terrifying, it made me wonder: "Is this how I'm going to be for the rest of my life?". But it subsided for the most part and I was able to walk again after three days of rest. I walked around the wooden den, a lot of it was dirty and run down, but there were no stains from prey blood, or urination, or poop. Rusty would bring me food from when he left and hunted, but he would make me eat it on some white stone and kept brought me outside to pee and poop. I was curious about why he killed, ate, and disposed of waste outside the den. He looked at me as if it was a silly question, but he then realized he hadn't thought why he did. It didn't take long for him to come up with an answer though. "I had a human once, he taught me to keep the place clean of waste matter, for one the wood gets moldy if it stays wet and then becomes unlivable, and if there were fecal matter everywhere it would stink and eventually some other human would notice and take me away from him. He was my best friend, but he, my mate, and my children were killed by wolves some time ago. I never let another wolf on my human's territory for a long time. I killed anyone and anything that came here trying to claim his land using my human's traps. This place was his and I want to keep it that way for him, even though I know he won't come back." I looked at him in a new light then, one I was again scared for myself, but his loyalty to his owner's memory was amazing to me. Then I wondered, he said that he didn't let another wolf on the territory for a long time.

"You eventually let wolves on the territory?" I asked wanting him to continue the story a little.

"Yea, eventually I befriended one or two. They probably spread the rumors about me more than anyone. The first one I met was a young kid who had a grey stripe on his tail, he came after me in an attempt to take down 'The Trigger'. After many failures and almost dying, I patched him up because of his loyalty to those I killed and sent him on his way. He came back a few months later to try again, he failed miserably and I patched him up because of his determination." I was amazed by him, the wolf was his enemy and yet he patched him up. "He came back a third time and asked why I had patched him up the previous times. And I told him "The first time you came to kill me to honor your fallen, my keeping you alive was my way of forgiving your kind for killing mine, the second time I patched you up was because you were determined to kill me and get revenge for yourself. Patching you up was my way of forgiving your pack and I will not seek total destruction of your pack the same way yours killed mine." He stopped and looked away and shook his face. "That wolf came and visited for a while, but I hear he became the Alpha of that pack and didn't return after that, I believe he deemed my territory under the packs protection. The second wolf that I allowed to come and go was the Alpha Female, she came attempting to do the same thing, I subdued her and sent her back without being harmed telling her the same thing I'd told her mate. She was a beautiful wolf, but had a temper on her." He smiled. "After she became pregnant last year she stopped coming also." He looked at me, "you would be about the..." He looked at my tail. "Who was your mother?" He asked, suddenly stunned.

"I didn't learn her name, but she was the Alpha was my father." He smiled, 'why would she send him my way?' He thought. 'Why did I take him in?' He smirked. "Probably the same answer."

"What?" I asked, he just shook his head.

It took days for me to get complete feeling back in my legs, during that time the feeling of the legs slowly coming back to life was very painful. The feeling of having pins and needles off and on for hours at a time was terrifying, it made me wonder at times: 'Is this how I'm going to be for the rest of my life?'. It would subside for an evening and wake me up in the morning as the cabin warmed.

During the good times I walked around the wooden den looking around and learning my surroundings, a lot of it was dirty and run down, but there were no stains from prey blood, or waste. Rusty would bring me food from when he left and hunted, but he would make me eat it on some white stone and kept brought me outside to waste. I was curious about why he killed, ate, and disposed of waste outside the den. He looked at me as if it was a silly question, but he then realized It was a legitimate question. It didn't take long for him to come up with an answer though. "I had a human once, he taught me to keep the place clean of waste matter, for one the wood gets moldy if it stays wet and then becomes unlivable, and if there were fecal matter everywhere it would stink and eventually some other human would notice and take me away from him."

"Humans?" I sniffed around I didn't smell anyone else I had been here over a week surely there would be sign of someone having been here.

"He was my best friend, but he, my mate, and my children were killed by the wolves a long time ago. I never let another wolf on my human's territory for a long time." He smirked. "I killed anyone and anything that came here trying to claim his land using my human's traps. This place was his and I want to have kept it that way for him." I looked at him in a new darker light. I was again scared for myself, but his loyalty to his human's memory was incredible to me.

He said that he didn't let another wolf on the territory for a long time. I took a while for me to get up the courage to ask another question. But after some silence I spoke up. "You eventually let wolves on the territory?" I asked wanting him to continue the story a little and hoping I heard him correctly.

"Yea, eventually I befriended one or two and They probably spread the rumors about me more than anyone about me, keeping their friends safe. Soon no one would come into my territory, those that came for revenge stopped showing up. My rampaging days were over, but I had had my fill, I was content to scare off the young wolves and keep the peace between the two packs."

"But you didn't befriend those only the first two?" His story was dragging out I couldn't tell if he was avoiding the subject.

"Don't be impatient" he cautioned. "It's the first in a long road of mistakes." The first one I met was a young kid who had a grey stripe on his tail, A lot like yours." I smiled unsure what he meant. "He came after me in an attempt to take down "The Trigger." The first few times he escaped with cuts and bruises. Finally he managed to get caught in one of my traps. After almost dying trying to escape I released him, patched him up and sent him on his way. He came back a few months later to try again, he failed miserably and I patched him up." I didn't understand what he was telling me. Wolves had killed his family and yet he patched this one up and was being incredibly merciful.

"He came back and approached me with questions, why I had patched him up, why spare him, of all the wolves that had came before why him?" He paused and grew solemn for a moment, his tail shifted back and forth as though he was arguing with himself. "And I told him, the first time you came to kill me you came to avenge your fallen. The second time I patched you up was because you were determined to kill me and get revenge for yourself. Patching you up was my way of forgiving your pack, I'm done with revenge keep your people off my territory and I'll leave them alone." He walked around for a few paces his eyes would glance over at me, then they would dart away as though I was annoying him. But he sat down again and continued. "He came and visited every now and then to get away from his problems in the pack or to ask my opinion on some random matter. After he became Alpha of that pack and didn't return after that, I believe he deemed my territory under the packs protection but you wouldn't know anything about that." It was a lot to take in. This monster the nurse's would warn us about was well within his rights to hurt any wolf who came into his lair. It made me take a step back.

"I won't forgive the black wolf. He killed everyone in my family and would have killed me if Mom hadn't ran away." Timber huffed.

"I didn't tell you this story to make you feel like you were wrong for feeling that way. I did for a long time. There's still things I can't forgive your... the wolves for." He looked at me and there was the finest hint of suppressed anger in his eyes that shook me. "They killed my friend and they killed my children, and for that I had given up on my revenge. I knew I would never get the chance to take my revenge for these things." He appeared to be getting angrier and more annoyed the more this topic went on I was getting worried for my safety. I was a pup from that pack, but killing me wouldn't be revenge they want me dead too. How would that fulfill his vengeance?

"So, you said there was another wolf who you allowed in?" He snapped up, as though the question brought him out of a deep thought. "Who was that?"

"Oh, her..." He chuckled humorlessly and sighed. "She was, the best friend and later the mate of the first. She came after me after He had stopped. I think she saw me as a threat to her companion, that I would eventually kill him after we'd become acquaintances and after he was the Alpha that I would be a threat to his reign for one half backed reason or another." He became lost in his thoughts for a moment and sighed and though he was resigning himself. "She retuned once and after I alerted her that she had become pregnant and should really stop coming after me I never saw her again." He mused.


"Last year." I asked confused. "That means she was..." He nodded. "You fought my parents?"

"Amusing isn't it?" He looked up, "I bet they're looking at me now and laughing." I looked at him confused. "I spared them, so they figured I would do the same for their kid." He chuckled and shook his head. "Why me?" He paced. "I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for any of this and yet here you are." He stopped and looked me square in my face and sighed. "You are luckiest pup alive." He stood and walked toward the door. "I'll be back I have to consider what's next from here." He pulled down on a silvery handle on the door and opened it, a flurry of chilled air rushed into the house. I settled down by the embers of the fire, my initial fears quelled by exposure. 'He spared my Father, then spared my Mother, then he spared me. I suddenly did feel like the luckiest pup alive.