The Monster in the Dark

The monsters don't only exist in the movies. The scariest monsters are the ones who exist out of the screen- the ones who smile at you. They are the ones who should protect you. And unfortunately, at three years old this young child would find out too soon wolves often wear sheep's clothing. He crept through the dark to the small child who was sleeping soundly. He brushed her almond hair from her heart shaped face. She stirred awake, smiling at the man who kneeled beside her. He leaned down and kissed her. Terror began to overwhelm her as he began to caress her arms, her face. He leaned down to kiss her once more- this time pressing his weight on her. She tried to squirm away, but he was too heavy. Her sister lay only feet away from her, but she did not hear the little cry in the middle of the night.

For two days, she hurt everywhere, and she wouldn't stop crying. Her father called her a brat- commenting that she was being a cry baby over everything. Her mother suggested that she was getting sick. No one knew the horror that she had seen when she was left alone in the dark, with the monster. When her gaze met her sister's, the elder girl began to quietly cry- for she knew the horror her sister had seen. In that moment they only really had each other. The monster threatened the girl's each when they were only. And for the baby girl- the worst thought in her mind is that the monster would hurt her Nanny- the most precious person to this little baby girl. If he could do the things he did to her, there was no telling what Nanny would suffer by him.

And so for years this baby girl kept the secret. Every time he touched her- she died a little more inside. Every kiss- every comment he made about her having a beautiful body or having soft skin- the more she wished she was dead. Christmas of thirteen years old- ten years after the initial betrayal of this monster- she couldn't hold onto that secret anymore. She wasn't strong enough. After failing three suicide attempts, she finally had to be open about how much she was suffering to someone besides the sister and brothers who had also been victims of Monster.

They had stopped at the bank and Nanny quickly went inside, leaving baby girl in the car with Monster. Baby girl wished Nanny knew what Monster was like. She tried to avoid him looking at her. He turned, letting her know that her buttons came undone on her bedtime clothes and that he liked what she looked like naked. He then said he closed her top so no one else could see because that was his only. Baby girl fought the tears back as Nanny came back into the car. Monster drove her to her best friend's home. Baby girl quickly kissed Nanny's cheek and ran into best friend's house. She was best friend's family practically so she no longer knocked to go in.

She quickly ran to best friend's room, wrapping her arms around best friend where she sobbed like a child. She told best friend everything- how Monster touched her, kissed her. Everything Monster had said. He had even asked to hold his hand once in the car. She refused and he said it was ok. She could be his girlfriend, that it wasn't wrong and no one had to know. He would marry her when Nanny died. He would get her a ring and necklace. All she had to say was a boy from school gave them to her. Her soul became lightened as best friend held her and she let it all out.

Some years later, suffering at the hands of Monster- she couldn't take it anymore. She slit her wrist. But then thinking about Nanny and Sister- and sister's tiny baby girl she had given birth two three years prior- she panicked. She ran to Dad who as showering. She stood outside of the bathroom crying to Dad that she had gotten hurt. He quickly got out of the shower, wrapping in a towel around himself and exiting the bathroom to check Baby girl. She held her wrist sobbing that she had been searching for something in the couch and cut her wrist on a spring. He quickly grabbed a wet rag and looked over her. After bandaging her up, Dad hugged her tightly.

She shivered, tears still falling. They were more from fear than from pain. She grew up seeing Mom being ridiculed for mental illness. What if they didn't love her anymore because of her mental illness? What if they all left her to be Monster's victim again? It wasn't too long before she couldn't take Mom's cruelty- the things she accused Baby girl of not knowing anything about.

During an argument about Brother's girlfriend- Mom said Baby girl knew nothing about the abuse she assumed was going on with girlfriend. Baby girl blurted out that she did because Monster had been doing it to her for 13 years. That brothers and Sister had also been Monster's victim too. She then looked at her siblings who all stared at her wide-eyed. Tears fell down her cheeks as she begged for their forgiveness. She knew that she should have not said anything, but how much can one expect a young girl to be able to hold in.

But to Baby girl's disappointment- Mom did nothing. She only told Baby girl that she had to keep quiet because it would surely kill Nanny if she knew. It was like taking a bullet to the heart for Baby girl that not even Mom wanted to protect her from Monster. Mom had abused this poor child for so long and had let Monster do what he wanted. Mom even protected Baby girl's ex-boyfriend who used Baby girl as a punching bag when Baby girl had told her what was going on. She shouldn't have been shocked, but she was. It was then that Baby girl lost all faith in the world.

Nanny got sick some time later, and before she was too bad she and Baby girl were alone watching movies. Nanny turned to Baby girl asking Baby girl if she thought that Monster had touched Mom inappropriately when she was younger and if that could be why Mom ran away when she was younger. If she thought that maybe that was why Mom didn't love her very much. Baby girl assured Nanny that Mom did love her- that she didn't know why Mom ran away when she was younger. Baby girl knew that it was the reason she ran away, but she couldn't tell Nanny. She couldn't kill her.

Favorite Uncle and Baby girl, who were as close as she and Nanny, took care of Nanny best they could, but she wasn't going to live much longer. One night, Favorite Uncle- whose daughter had also been Monster's victim- told Nanny what really happened. Nanny- in tears- vowed to make whatever time she had left a living hell for him. And she did.

After Nanny's passing- Monster was a lonely secluded Monster. Mom and Dad had divorced by this time- Sister was in love and had moved. Brothers were with Dad. Baby girl was lone with Mom who then forced her to live with Monster. But by this time, Baby girl was no longer a small naive child. She let Monster know that if he touched her again- she would kill him. With Sister and Little baby gone- Nanny gone- she had nothing to lose. He could definitely have killed her for coming at him- or she could go to prison, but everyone she loved was gone in one way or another. She didn't care any longer. And then- no shock to Baby girl- Mom abandoned her.

And some time later- Monster got sick. He was dying. Baby girl sat by his hospital bed- with Other Uncle, one she wasn't too close to. They listened as the doctor gave Monster only a few weeks to live. Tears poured down her cheeks- she wasn't sure exactly why. For everything he had done- there was still that small child who admired him for the things he did teach her about life such as how to work on cars, shoot guns, build things- survive on her own. The doctor placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before leaving the room.

Three in the morning- Monster did the best thing he had ever done for the world. He died. Baby girl did not cry as she stood beside his hospital bed. She stared down at Monster- wondering where he would spend his after life. There was a weight lifted off of her chest as she stared down at his lifeless body. Monster had been defeated- she could finally breathe. Finally live without fear- right?

If only life were like that. Instead- she was left behind to feel the pain- the void being with Monster and Mom had left inside of her. To cry tears that nothing could supress. To not trust- to fear everyone and everything. Baby girl would never know what healthy, happy life would feel like. Mom and Monster didn't have to deal with the aftermath. Just Baby girl- forever destoryed..