Fuzzies

There are different sorts of fuzzies
The Morgan Fuzzies
The Girl Fuzzies
She’s felt the Morgan Fuzzies
Many times before
Morgan
Candy
Jocelyn
They’re frivolous fuzzies
Cute fuzzies
Nothing fuzzies
Then there’s The Girl Fuzzies
The Fuckface Fuzzies
The fuzzies she’s felt only felt
Twice in twenty years
The fuzzies that make her question
What the universe has in store
The fuzzies that make her want
To get married
To have kids
To have a home
The fuzzies that make her feel
Like she’s home
The fuzzies she feels in her gut
The fuzzies that feel like warmth
When she looks at him
She can see a future
She can see snuggling up against her
She can see holding his hand
Saying “I do”
Growing humans
Growing old
With him
Feelings she’s only felt with The Girl
She wonders if she’ll always hold on
To the feelings she felt
She’s moved on from The Girl
She’ll move on from Fuckface
But she still can’t say The Girl’s name
A part of her still loves The Girl
Will a part of her always love The Girl?
Will it be the same with him?
Will she fall in love and forget them?
She certainly has a type
Unattainable
18 years old, recently out, and always online
Falling, falling, falling
23 years old, college dropout, and confident
3,000 miles between them
Young in love
Old in lust
Another becomes available
Easier
It never meant anything to her
She kisses another girl on Snap
Heart-broken youth
Two years pass
20 years old, gaining confidence, and knowing herself
Falling, falling, falling
26 years old, goofy manager
A job between them
Young in love
Who knows about old
Irrelevant
Confused youth moves
Cheaper school
No rent
Heartbroken youth
She’s sad to leave her friends
Jericho
Chris
Mark
Hailey
Lottie
Oh Jesus Christ
Lottie
She’s heartbroken
To leave her “what if”$
What if
What if
What if
She has a type and she prays
She prays one day will come when
Unattainable becomes attainable
And heartbroken youth is no more