No ratings.
Its about a married woman suffering from identity loss in her husbands life. |
It started from the end Whisking through the cake mix she was lost in thoughts. After making the same cake for almost 3 years it was as if mechanical for Ritu. But this time it was different. She was adding her goodbyes to it. She didn't wanted to be free anymore, in his terms. She wasn't ignored or disrespected or not loved. She had all yet none. 'I will leave my last gift to him', she thought romanticizing it, 'his favorite white chocolate cake, which he loved more than anything in the world, anything'. She was laughing at herself, she was once jealous of a cake. She has been a devoted wife for 3 years, well at least devoted for 1st year. Before they were married Atul was perfect boyfriend. He respected her and decisions. He adored her, never minded her ranting, and never judged her friends and family. It was perfect relationship. Then they got married. They truly were together, that's what she kept thinking or rather telling herself for almost a year. Every night in bed they talked about random things. About politics, people, circumstances, always about others. After sex he used make little forms on my belly with his fingers, he still does, but it doesn't feel same. He always said 'you are free to do whatever you want, you don't need to answer me'. It felt sweet in the beginning but she slowly understood that he too doesn't needs to answer to her. Three years of marriage and she still knew nothing of his family, his friends, or him. She was open to him and did all she could to make him to open up to her. It never happened. Whenever she about something intimate he replied with 'let's keep few things personal'. Everything related to him was personal. She had all but she had none. She didn't belong to him and he didn't wanted her in her life. She wasn't treated like a furniture, but she felt like one. She was just a roommate for him, not more. She was going to find a new roommate now, in a ladies hostel. Her parents didn't understand her, no one would, after all she had it all. She finished the cake, wrapped it in a white box and placed a lily on top. She packed her belongings, she realized she didn't belong to this house either. All she could hers was her clothes and few toiletries. A few memories of course, but nothing that she couldn't leave behind. She got dressed, a white dress, his favorite white dress. There really was nothing hers in this house. She decided to send a goodbye message before leaving. After all he respected her decisions. She was happy and sad and wanted a message that conveyed both. She had just started 'you favorite cake is in the fridge .........' when the doorbell rang. She didn't needed to answer, she didn't lived here anymore. But it kept ringing and it disturbed her so she opened it. He was sitting right outside. Smelling like cigarettes, crying. From where she was she asked 'what happened'. She didn't wanted to know, she didn't wanted to stay, and she didn't wanted him to answer this personal question. But she knew whatever the reason is, whether he tells her or not, she cannot leave him now. |