The Benefits of Getting Fed Up

My first really bad boss was the one that caused me to leave a career in corporate America, where I’d been a faithful little worker bee for over 10 years. I’ll just call her #1.

Quick background (in which I will try to avoid any identifying descriptions): The company had a reputation for being cool, young, having a flexible work-life balance, and for doing meaningful work. I was so excited when I started, I actually felt special. I used phrases like “I’m drinking the koolaid” because I was.

After three years on the same team doing the same thing, I needed a change. I started looking for other jobs within the same company. I didn’t want to go to another company at this point because I was trying to convince myself that I did fit in and that I did belong, even though deep down, I knew I didn’t. I ended up getting onto another team that I was really excited about. The work was completely different from what I had been doing, which was what I’d really wanted.

I was on this new team for three months and then, out of nowhere, there was a huge shakeup. I was now on a different team, doing a different job. But it was new and different, which I’m a sucker for, so I went with it. #1 was my new boss.

I won’t go into any detail, other than to say that after less than a year, I was experiencing daily anxiety like never before, and having what I would consider panic attacks. (Note: in no way do I mean to diminish what actual panic attacks feel like for people with actual diagnosed anxiety. I was never diagnosed with anything, but I did feel constantly on edge, physically sick and shaky, and unable to control my thoughts, and that sounds similar to what I’ve heard panic attacks described as.) This went on for months.

So, long story short, I quit. The idea of quitting had been building up very slowly over a few months, and then very quickly over a few days. Until one day I just did it. I told #1 that I was quitting, and my last day was 2 days later. I stuck around just long enough to clean up all my projects and notes, etc. so that I wasn’t totally fucking over whoever was going to take over my crap when I left.

Let me take a moment to say how lucky I am that married the right person. I can’t imagine what I would have done if he’d come home telling me he quit that day, and that he didn’t have another job lined up. He was nothing but supportive. And, I feel compelled to confess, that yes, we were privileged enough to be able to afford it. Barely, but we paid the bills.

I decided that the only way to completely validate this very irresponsible, but completely necessary, decision that I’d made, was to find a job that would make me feel the total opposite of what my last job had made me feel. Or at the very least, that I would enjoy doing and that would not add any anxiety to my life.

And that is how I ended up working for my second really bad boss. I’ll call him #2 (ha ha!).

He owned a dog-walking business. He seemed so legit! I spent a day driving around with him, seeing a day-in-the-life of a dog walker. He was young, funny, intelligent, and he knew how to handle the dogs and they respected (and genuinely liked) him. I couldn’t believe that this was a real job. Granted, it wasn’t going to pay what my previous job had paid, but he did promise that I could make a very decent salary. His business was booming, he had plenty of clients and he couldn’t do all the jobs himself, and I shared directly in the company’s profits. So I signed on, and I was psyched! I was going to get paid to walk dogs? Heck yeah.

Except, it didn’t work out that way. I never made the kind of money he’d promised. I had to chase him for the little money that I was making. He avoided my calls, evaded my questions, and turned out to be less than honest (to put it very nicely). When I confronted him, he fired me.

I was so mad. And more than that, I was sad. I had spent the last 3 months building relationships with these amazing dogs, spending time with them every day, and now I wouldn’t get to see them anymore. It was honestly heartbreaking.

And then I decided that I would start my own dog walking business.

Now let me just tell you, if anyone had ever suggested to me, even a few months before this point, that I would ever start my own business, I would have said “no way.” I could never do that; I didn’t know the first thing about running a small business.

But I was motivated. I knew I didn’t want to go back to an office job. Working those types of jobs had taught me a lot, I can’t deny that. But I’d had a taste of what a small business was like (the only positive I took from that dog walking gig, except the time with the dogs), and I knew I could do it. I just had to learn a few things. Ok a lot of things.

I would like to take this moment to thank the internet and libraries for existing.

I did it. I started a dog walking business. And I have never enjoyed working so much in my life. The planning, writing up a business plan (ok that part wasn’t super exciting), designing a logo, and creating a website...I loved the whole process. All of it.

And I got clients. My days started to fill up. I even had to narrow down my service area so that I could fit more clients into my days and spend less time driving around. I was hanging out with different dogs all day, getting exercise, making my own schedule and my own rules - it was the best job I’d ever had! And honestly, to this day, I still feel like I’m bragging because I can’t help blurting out “I have the best job in the world!” when I tell people what I do for a living. I walk dogs, what’s not to love! I get to listen to podcasts and audiobooks, or talk to family and friends, while hanging out with some of the best creatures on the planet. I also take care of cats (I’m actually originally a cat person, full disclosure). And chickens. And guinea pigs. And birds. No reptiles or creepy crawlies. I can say no to those because I’m the boss and I don’t like them.

None of this would have ever happened if it wasn’t for two horrible bosses.

I’m not going to thank them. They were jerks to me. But they made me realize what I am, and what I am not, willing to put up with in my life. That has been such a huge lesson. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past few years, and I have a confidence in myself that I’ve never felt before.

I’m not saying that if you’re completely miserable in your job that you should just quit and figure it out later. That is not sound advice (unless you can actually afford to...consider this my disclaimer). But if you’re still reading this, and you’re stuck in a shitty job that you hate, or with a horrible mean boss, I hear you. Start doing research on what other jobs you can try to do. The freelance market is booming (I’m not an expert so don’t quote me on that….another disclaimer).

But try to open your mind to other possibilities. You’ll never know what you’re capable of if you’re not willing to be a little uncomfortable. Learn to be ok with uncomfortable, because that’s where change happens.