poetry i wrote while in a hospital |
Day one: It’s difficult to Think Write Breathe When the weight of Loss Loneliness Living Is on your chest -an elephant on my chest Day two: They wake me up Early To take Blood It feels like They are Pulling What was left of me Out II. My heart Clenches Tightens Collapses Breaks When I hear Her beautiful voice Her wonderful laugh When I know I can’t see Her -my sister Day three: I just Can’t Breathe I am Choking Suffocating Dying And I’m Not Even Scared -I lost my fear Day four: The hurt in my heart Curls up Moves down Migrates slowly Into my stomach Where it fights to get Out, desperately In the form of Blood -a period of time II. Truth be told I look in the mirror And my heart Doesn’t recognize The person standing there Broken Tears running down I don’t know Who I am -meeting me Day five: My heart feels Happy Not all poetry Must be sad I can be Dark Gloomy Deep I choose to be Bright Shiny Me II. “Thursday” My face falls My eyes water I look at My mom, i Want to leave Please -then It was “Wednesday” and I could smile III. I put down my marker Down to the paper And I Bleed & bleed & bleed out Without even breaking My pale skin -my words saved me IV. Taking a shower Releasing my tears Refreshing my heart Letting go of Feelings that come Back & Back -& back again V. Swallowing happiness Is what people do We swallow: Pills Drugs Alcohol Food Our feelings -the truth we don’t like to think about Day six: The hot water Pours down like My feelings all Around me the Steams grow & Grow until I Can’t breathe, I Try to open The curtains to Breathe but there Is no way Out so I Beat through the Wall to breathe I will not S U F F O C A T E -daily shower II. The happiness Inside me Curls up Moves to My fingertips It blooms And I Am more Than willing To share My petals With the Beautiful people Around me -the flowers spring up from my cuts III. I have so Much I want to Do Like write a Book And dive in To The fairytales I Love And to have The Love of my Life And to just Be H A P P Y -a fairytale girl V. My feelings move in me Painfully they shift Shake Poke around In my stomach The hurt grumbles Crumbles Brings my insides to P I E C E S VI. The excitement coils up ”I am going free” Is all my mouth Will say because I Am leaving and I Could not be happier -what it is to almost be free VII. Letting go of The people I’ve Met is quite Hard, and sad Because they are Great, and deserve To get better I will miss Them, but they Need this place More than I Need some friends -I will miss and heal at the same time VIII. Survived and I Am happy I Swear I am I Know how to react I Know how to deal with things I Know how to cope I Am alive and I Am blessed -healed IX. The past can not H O L D Me any longer My enemies can try To strap me down But I am a W O L F I will break free No matter the cost I will always fight I was born to S U R V I V E -animal child X. My heart beats faster & Faster The excitement Wells up deep Inside me And moves back up To my throat I go to choke I cough and Out of my mouth Comes petals covered in the Dry blood of where I once Bled but am now healed -the flowers spring up from my cuts part two XI. The words flow out of me Like water falls both Elegantly and hard From the sky Once it starts it comes & Comes & Comes I open my mouth And they fall out like Leaves in a strong storm One day my words Will shake the earth And change everything -I think I am the storm |