something new

writing down what i have to say is not easy. it doesn’t flow as easily as others. i can’t just say what’s on my mind nor ehan half the time. it takes something to get it out. once i start talking i don’t stop. once i blow up i cry and i may yell and i just am completely overwhelmed by myself. i never know what to do.

but honestly. it may just be me. what i’ve been through. who i am as a person. how i’ve been treated. who knows.

i’m 17 and i feel horrible about talking to anyone. i hate bothering people. i don’t talk to my mom or my younger sisters. i don’t talk to anyone at school. and i try my best not to bother my girlfriend too much.

i need everything to stop. just stop for awhile. o need to get away. i need her and myself just us. she’s all i need. i don’t know what better to do. schools hell and so is outside life.

personal issues are becoming too much and i’m more overwhelmed than i have been in a long time. i’m stressed and anxious and exhausted and just so tired. i’ve had a heachache for weeks and serious stomach pains are happening again.

anyways. sometimes ranting helps. and i dunno if it helps any for me but i tried. i’m sure nobody will even open this. but what’s the point.

i’m sorry.