Soggy Bread

SOGGY BREAD

Chapter One

OUR HERO DIES

Although he was about to die violenty in front of his bird and ex-fiance, Malcolm Ross couldn't help but think about how god damn hungry he was. The barrel of the gun was pressed so far into his bloated gut, that what had emitted from it was a large gurgle. Anyone in that room could agree that Malcolm's involunitary reaction during this time was dire situation was anything but apporitate. Nathaniel, Malcolm's ex- lover rolled his eyes in utter disbelief, strain was etching on his face so rapidly it looked like he was going to scream. Drago the large Czech man with the .22 jammed into Malcolm's side, took his large gray hand and smashed his fist into the back of his head. Malcolm's large body imedaility fell to the floor, the vibration knocking over expensive glass vases that were set up on the mantle in Malcolm's living room.

"I will not ask you again, fat fuck. Where is he? Where are you hiding him?" Malcolm slowly got up from the hardwood floor and looked his captor in the eye, "I already told you, Igor its in the damn refrigator." Drago this time whacked Malcolm on the side of the head with his gun, expelling blood from Malcolm's soft skull.

"You fucking expect me to believe that garbage? No more games. No more god damn jokes. I know for fact that you are hiding man that killed my nephew." Drago's loaded hand quickly jetted towards Nathaniel. "Unless, butt boy is one whoust die." Nathaniel's dead eyes just pierced into Drago's lazy ones and he said "Fuck. You."

Malcolm, now realizing that his loud mouth boyfriend was going to get the three them killed slowly rose his hands up in attempt to negoigate. "Hey listen, listen like I was trying to tell you before, it wasn't a person who killed Sparrow. It was a-" WHACK, before he even could finished his sentenced, Drago's ham of a fist came down upon Malcolm's skull yet again. Just like before, Malcolm's large head came crashing down on the hard wood floor, this time his large parrot Chimney began to squauk through his cage.

At this point he was just exsparated, wiping the blood from his jaw, Malcolm was getting absolutely sick of all the shit that happened this week. . He slowly turned his head towards Drago and muttered, "Just check the god damn fridge and you'll what I'm talking about. No games. I swear. No god damn fucking games." Drago looked down at Malcolm, despite him being a large round man pushing two hundred and fifty, Drago towered over him with ease. His wide gray fa cecould tell he was thinking it over. With the gun still pointed at Nathainel, the large cronie, slowly made his way towards the kitchen. Although it was about a fifty feet walk, neither Nathaniel nor Malcolm tried any funny business. Chimney however was squaking and flappy his crimson wings frantically.

"Shut the FUCK up!" Drago screamed, his was losing his patetince rapidly, but once he finally opened up the couple's jet black fridge you could that he was going to lose his shit. Malcolm complelty understood his frustrated, because he knew exactly what Drago was looking at. Inside the cold fridge was complelty empty expected for a small silk bag that laid directly in the middle. Drago immdeaility snatched the bag and thrusted it in the air insanely. His rage was uncontainable and once again Malcolm was making eye contact with the .22.

"A FUCKING SANDWHICH???? I SAID NO MORE GAMES!!"

BLAMMMMM

A shot fired off, and for a second Malcolm thought he was dead. But than he realized that Chimney's paniced squakes had seized. His dead body, his feathers soaked in blood, collapsed inside the cage. Instantly the squakes from the bird was replaced by Nathiel's blood curdling screams.

"You bastard! You bastard!"

"Open the bag Drago, just open the bag! I'm not screwing with ya hear just open the damn bag!" Malcolm pleaded, knowing exactly what kind of bloodbath was about to ensue.

Surprsingly, the crazed oaf pulled the string of the silk bag open, and all hell broke loose.

The Sandwhich-like eneity leaped out like some sort of alien leach and using both sides of the bread as a mouth, latched onto Drago's face compelelty gnawing at it. Blood spurted everywhere and as a blinded Drago flailed and screamed, waving his gun around like a drunk waving a bottle. Desperate to get the Sandwich off him, the goon was firing off shots aimless, one stray bullet hit Nathaiel in the leg.

Finding his oppurnity, Malcolm attempted to spring up but his large size and the fact he was complelty out of shape, hindered him. Drago's face was nearly devoured, and once the Sandwich had let of, you could see the exposed bone and muscle tissue of where his gnarly mug once had resdince. He then collapsed hard, smashing more vases from the living room.

Knowing exactly what the Sandwich's next move was, Malcolm found his oppurnity to get out. "Nathinel, get up! We don't have much time, we need to get out now that it's busy."

Nathinel winced as he tried to get up, him still freaking over the dead bird and not the fact that a 6'7 Czech henchman's face was just complelty elinmated by a sandwich. As his lover got up, Malcolm turned to see what the little monster was up too. It was a scene Malcolm had seen four times in the last week, and each time it got more disturbing. The Sandwich had shuffled it's small body along the floor and slide it's up onto the crotch of Drago's fallen body. It once again opened it's eerie little mouth exposing a row of razor sharpe teeth and a slice of balongee and began to rip to shreds Drago's private parts. Blood and meat was spalashing through the air, as Malcolm stumbled on the floor attempting to get the silk bag and the gun that Drago had dropped.

"What the actual fuck!" Nathan screamed, "It's eating his dick??" In any other scenario Malcolm would of responded "Yeah, looks like we got a lot of common" but realized the situation didn't call for it. Instead he yelled, " Just run Nathan, I'll take care of this. Go and find Julissa and have her take you to the hospital. I'm going to end this."

A reluctant Nathan limped out, leaving Malcolm and the feasting monster. Gun in one hand, and bag in another Malcolm slowly started to apporch the creature as hungry noises were emitted.

This was it. The end of it all. The end of the most insane and utterly bizzare week Malcolm had ever encountered in his life. But he had to be careful. He knew the gun wasn't going to kill the Sandwich, just injure it but once he could snatch the monster with the bag he knew he was safe. Once he was thrity feet away, Malcolm fired. And unspiringly he missed. One thing that he learned in these six days was that he was a terrible shot. That's when his large stomach filled up with regret. Hearing the noise, the Sandwich flopped it's body over and faced Malcolm. The creature didn't have eyes but you could always tell when it was looking at you. That's when he knew it was over.

In one quick motion, the Sandwich leaped in the air with the speed of a rabid spider-monkey and suctioned it's mouth onto Malcolm's gentiles. "Oh shit," Malcolm thought "it's doing it in reverse." In a panicked moment of foolshiness , Malcolm fired at the compleltly making contact with his penis, just missing the creature.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" the amount of pain that was rushing through Malcolm's body was utterly riddicoulous, but that didn't seemed to bother the Sandwich as it began gnawing the bloody mess as Malcolm collapsed to the floor. His eyes were clenched shut from the pain and all he could hear were his own screams, but he also felt the pressure of the small little shit shuffling up his body towards his face.

The tiny little teeth started to pierce and ripped through his fat cheeks, the noise of small vicious growls filling the room. Malcolm tried as hard as he could to fight it off, but his blood and also his conscequiss started to fade away. As everything went black, and life started to fade away, only one thought began to race through Malcolm Ross's head.

"I should of gotten a fucking salad.