The Enemy

The Enemy

         Dwight's archenemy had invaded his space and peace once again. This time when the gray-haired devil showed up he scared the hell out of his wife. The poor frightened woman ran into their bedroom, she was screaming at the top of her lungs, "he's back, he's back!"

         Dwight jumped out of his comfortable warm bed. He went from room to room looking for his sworn enemy. He found no sign of the bastard. He double checked all the places the monster might have been hiding and found nothing.

         This was the third time this month the enemy had breached Dwight's home and serenity. It had to stop, he and his wife couldn't go on being uncomfortable in their own home. This was getting personal now. Dwight would not call for help, he would seek his own vengeance. He spent the remainder of the night sitting in his favorite chair listening and watching for any sign of the intruder.

         Sunrise brought no peace to his soul. He continued to stand guard against all who would destroy what he held sacred. For three days and nights nothing happened, Dwight was walking around the house like a zombie after three sleepless nights. His wife finally convinced him to come to bed on the fourth night but it didn't do him much good. He rose every hour or so to check the traps he'd set to capture the home invader.

         A very disheveled Dwight showed up at Harry's Sporting Goods the following morning. The clerk sitting behind the counter looked at Dwight like he was freaking nuts when Dwight explained what he intended to use the shotgun he was buying for. "You sure you want to do that mister?"

         "I've never been so sure of anything in my life." For the minimum wage the clerk was getting paid he wasn't about to argue with a crazy man.

         Sitting with his third cup of coffee in hand and his brand new loaded shotgun across his lap, Dwight sat in his chair waiting for some pay-back. He didn't have to wait long, he heard a slight rustling sound. The sound was louder the second time, and definitely coming from the kitchen. Dwight got up from the chair and walked as quietly as he could towards the kitchen. The lights were out with only the streetlights from outside the kitchen window offering any illumination. When he sensed movement to the right his sleep deprived instincts told him to fire. The shotgun blast put a fist sized hole in the brand-new Samsung dishwasher. Then he sensed that something was behind him, he turned and fired again. This time the shot took out the brand-new Samsung refrigerator. The enemy was behind him again, he turned and let off another round and the blast put a hole in the kitchen wall and took off the head of his ninety-year old next-door neighbor.

         Dwight's wife was able to wrestle the gun from him. He told her, "I think I got him," The police came and took Dwight away in handcuffs. He was facing murder and several weapons charges. He was thrown into a holding cell with a carjacker named Ed.

         Ed tried having a conversation with his new cellmate, but Dwight was beyond any kind of conversation. He sat on his bunk rocking back and forth muttering "I think I got him, I think I got him" Over and over again. Ed knew a nut-job when he saw one, so he told Dwight to "shut the hell up" and tried to sleep.

         The guard woke from his deep sleep to the shouts from Ed the carjacker. The guard found Dwight hanging from a bedsheet that he'd turned into a noose. He was gently swinging back and forth. It was quite obvious that he was dead. The guard asked Ed, "what the hell happened?"

         Ed said. "well I'm not really sure. A little gray mouse came out of it's hole and was sniffing around the cell. I mean it was a cute little thing. All of a sudden, the guy goes freaking nuts. He jumped up on his bunk and was yelling and screaming about how his enemy had found him. The guy was really going nuts I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I told him it was only a mouse but he kept screaming. Then he tossed the bedsheet over the pipe up there and tied it around his neck. After a while he stopped screaming. Didn't you hear him?"

         "No, I didn't hear a thing. Why didn't you stop him?"

         "Hey man I learned a long time ago not to mess with crazy people."