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chapter 2 Simply Listening.... |
CHAPTER 2 - Relaxing and the weekend was full of surprises and God i am tired lol, tonight i think i will have me some popcorn and have my babies join me for a living room movie night picnic lol... i know i know it sounds lame but it keeps my family together and happy with eachother. so im getting the snacks ready and the drinks, the kids are getting the blankies ready and pillows on the floor ready and now there just talking and yelling on who will see what movie first and who will be second , and im just cooking in the kitchen and laughing, as far as they know it's my decision and i will be picking the movie lol. ... so we ended up watching the avengers and the justice league , the kids were asleep so i sent them to bed in there comfy beds and hubby and i went to bed aswell but decided to watch movies in the bedroom . hubby got up from the bed and said "i'll be right back going to the bathroom" i said ok baby. he left and then suddenly not even a few seconds out the door and into the bathroom he calls my name and i yelled back "yes hunny?" and he said nothing nevermind... i started to think of what had happened to me the other day.. some how i had brush it off again...and thought this was getting redicoulous. - the kids had begun there summer vacation and things were quiet around the house even though i was still having blackouts and seizures , to feel sick or even be sick is annoying , this has taken my freedom away , my freedom to drive to work to even feel free to go out without worry...... the first time i realized something was wrong was when i was taken to jail and i dont know why, ..my family and friends had to tell me why i was bailed out .,,, i was bailed because somehow i had crashed into a house gate and was told to stop by the cops and somehow i got home and was arrested, then i woke up in a waiting jail cell and i dont even know how the hell i got there...,,,that was my first blackout that cost my freedom and it could've cost my kids .. my kids are my world i wouldnt risk there lives ever. to be honest i feel as if im a broken mother that im sick and no good for them. GOD help me feel better and stronger , my babies need me . - i had calmed down and was relaxing with some of my friends who had come over talk to me, but then as the night kept going i started noticing that my talents were needed more then my companionship. i was asked to read some dreams they had and to look for anything thats around them because they kept feeling as if there was something following them. ive been asked to even bless there house with god words and to tell them stuff . i look into myself and i could hear words or certain words that i can hear and sometimes i am told to tell these people and sometimes im told to just listen. to be honest i have always felt this i just was never in tuned with it myself and i bet doctors would simply call this crazy straight forward, but i wonder how can you know so much of perfectly unknown strangers ??...i;ve always asked myself why me?..is this normal or is this just my brain acting crazy?.. |