Haunted

I never really know what I feel like
All I know is I’m haunted by people's words and my thoughts at night
I hear the whispers in my head
They’re driving me insane!
But you don’t understand because you’re not inside my brain

When I finally fall asleep after hours of wishing I could rip out my brain
I have nightmares and terrors because those memories are like a stain
And I can’t wash it out no matter how hard I try
Most days I just wish my thoughts could be mine
Not a stain of the past
A broken memory that cuts through my skin like shards of glass

I am alive but I’m not living
I am screaming but you are not listening
I see the scars on my skin and I know they tell a story
But nobody reads it because it’s to gory

When I’m sleeping I want to be awake
When I’m awake I want to be sleeping
A never ending cycle of hearing my panicked breathing

I want to tear at my skin
And rip out my heart
Everybody says I look so composed
But on the inside…
I’m falling apart.