Dread, but Mostly Inspiration

Got that SHOT/INJECTION in the right eye this morning, and I am just beginning to recover. I actually thought about just not doing it today, and then common sense set in and I drug myself to Dr. Gancayco and he did his job.

My evaluation did not go well last week. I was broken from Wednesday until today. The right eye has gotten worse. It is complicated, but it appears that I now may have glaucoma in it and that will blind me very quickly if not treated. So, now, I have to get Glaucoma treatments. LOL When you are young you do not have a CLUE as to what life has in store for you. You see yourself in the future exactly as you are that very moment --at least I did.

I did not think I would go blind. I prayed like hell to not die of cancer. I knew I could handle being deaf if I had my sight, but I wanted it ALL. As I age, I still want it all, but realize that a few things are going to leave me whether I like it or not and that my choices are limited to taking care of what I have and hoping that I am doing enough to preserve and protect what I have left.

Living right. Living healthy. Living good etc. has absolutely nothing to do with it. We should always do our best so that in the latter years we can honestly say that I did not abuse my body. I drank lots of water to protect and flush my kidneys. I got regular dental check-ups and cleanings. I went to my annual physicals (because I had good insurance and they were getting the money whether I went or not -- so I went). I endured those painful mammograms and vaginal searches called pap smears. Yes, I took hoards of vitamins and wore sensible clothing. I did my part.

So, what happened? LIFE. Aging, and those things over which I had no control, and even though those darn shots hurt like hell, and I want to turn and run away, they have kept me with sight for almost six years. I guess, there is something to be said for modern medicine. Like most, I am clinging to life, and to the quality of life to which I have become accustomed -- that include seeing.

That thought made me go in and take my shot this morning. Doc and I often talk about those who just give up and stop coming, and then change their minds and come back months later. As sad as it may be, they can't go back to the sight that they had before they quit. All Doc can do is pick up from where they are now, and they are usually worse off than when they quit. One person had stayed away so long that watching fuzzy TV was no longer an option -- also no more need for that dreaded shot. I for one am too scared to see what would happen if I missed that shot.

That brings me to the left eye. THANK GOD for that left eye! It is hanging in there. No shot for it for EIGHT WEEKS. The right eye will be taking all of the shots in between -- LOL -- no rotation -- just stick the right eye. Small blessings -- no, that is a BIGGY, and I am thankful.

The pursuit of happiness sometimes can be measured in such small things as a tiny needle in the eye that retains one's sight for just a few more days.

I AM HAPPY for the sight that I have today.

Peace and blessings always.