Pretty much, that's called fate

'Love at first sigh'. Such a cute phrase, guilty for causing so many heartbreaks and yet it still makes people believe in every small action 'reflecting' warmth in the form of love or care. To think that people actually hold on to the thought of having serious relationships just because someone looked into their eyes for more than 2 seconds... pathetic... and I was pathetic as well.

Like, picture this: Your best friend rubs your back as her soothing words try to relax you from family problems. You've told her that your parents fighting is getting a pain in the rear and you don't know where to escape. To breathe.

"No one understands me in that house," you say through your sweaty hands, "they never stop. They will never stop with this bullshit - it's been like this in forever!" And every time complains leave your mouth, it feels as if a burden is being lifted from your back.

"You have your own life and they have theirs - it's not your fault they deal with it like some spoiled brats. Come on, don't cry. We have a party tonight after all."

You nod your head and smile since at least you've got permission to go. It's a family party and luckily, you were invited because your best friend considers you part of her family.

"Yeah..." And with that, you try to not cry. Finally. Getting up, reminding yourself that there's a big day ahead, the worries kind of vanish.

Indeed, it was a great day and what made it even more great was the fact that you've met knew people and God, do they LOVE your humor. Every time they laughed with any thing you said helped build your courage. Maybe, you think, maybe these people understand me. Perhaps you've found your people even though they aren't blood related. Besides, life knows no boundaries.

Long story short, you've had a few drinks, danced a lot and man oh man, a lot of compliments came your way since you have great dancing moves. Lucky you. That must have made you blush at some point. I guess so. But what was more amazing was that you danced with a cute and quiet guy who respected you the entire night. The first time slow dancing with someone, huh? I'm sure you thanked God that he kept his hands on your upper back because, well, alcohol makes people do weird stuff.

Then you went home. Nothing bad happened. No alcohol overuse, no kinky things, just had a fun time with your best friend. But do you know what wasn't alright? That guy you danced with. A week had passed with you thinking about him and how charming he was,his warm smile, how he looked at you while you danced... yet he never made a move and again, thank God. You didn't need to be a clown at a family party. Good girl. But did you tell your best friend about him? No? Eh, why? - ohhh, you're shy. Got you.

How about this. One day, out of the blue she says: "- he likes you, a lot." and you freeze. You seriously thought you were insane at that point because when did it ever happen for your crush to like you back? Did you die and failed to notice it? Probably. Though, when he texted you that day, it was officially confirmed. It was true. Then bla bla bla, love this love that. Cute pics here, sweet words there made you believe he was the one. You finally had someone you could be loyal to, be happy with and such but something felt odd. Having a lot of failed crush love stories created a 'list' of things you wanted in a guy.

"Let him be quiet, kinda handsome, fall in love with me..." Blunt prescription there hun. No limitations, like, him being boring or never texting first and wait for this! He got mad at you and didn't talk for a whole day because " You didn't say morning first." Where are we? In sixth grade? Want to know the best part? He went and explained that to your best friend, his cousin and do you know how she commented on that?

"You don't know how to deal with him. You don't act as he wants to. Even at that day we all went out, you never said a thing. Just like talking to a stone!"

Is it your fault you don't bother with people who are similar to corpses? No. She turned her back at you and he... he was a 5 year old with issues. But you didn't understand. He was all you were looking for. Quiet and not loud in conversations, he was wonderful to look at, didn't beg you to do naughty things, even had a car... what went wrong? If you both would ever have kids, the story of how you met would be charming to tell. What went wrong??

Since you're pretty dumb, you stop eating, don't sleep as well as you used to, your best friend is just a distant person, not completely but there there and you deleted your social media. Your mom asks what's wrong and you don't tell her a thing. Tears, tears and more tears choke you. How could you be so stupid? So what do you do next - open an account on some random anime site and talk to anyone who messages you. Same with them too. Your pics, do you have a bf... but then, just then something happens. A guy messages you a 'HI' and you answer back. He asks for your name and you ask for his. Start talking how you are and so forth. Then a topic comes up about friends and man, were you full of ideas. You explain what fake people do, how they treat you and not a single time did he get bored or answered a passive answer, he just read and replied with the same seriousness you were talking with.

Days pass and you're still talking to him but do you know what's interesting? The fact that for the very first time, you feel safe. Mentally and weirdly, physically. He could be a 50 year old man for all you know! Though no. You do something you never did on these chatting sites which is open an account to talk on the phone.

"What am I doing?" you ask yourself but you still do it. Nothing changes. No sexual pics, no sexual inappropriate topics, just him and you talking. Feeling eased with him. Then he sends you a pic of his face and you stare at it. He is handsome. Beautiful plum shaped lips, intimidating brown eyes which to be honest were so deep - how could they be so deep?!! How could that be possible, that's bullshit! Curly brown hair... no, no! It was too early to call it love. Come on, you're better than this! He could be fake... right? Right?
The way he understood you without judging your weird persona, the conversations you and him had came up without you caring about what you're saying because everything with that guy was understandable couldn't be fake. Even thought he lived faaaar away, never met him in person... his vibes were so positive, so reliable, you wondered if he was the one... And guess what. He is.

I found my soul mate. If it weren't for those horrible people, that unfortunate party where I met that useless guy, I would have never found HIM. Maybe being near the edge has its bright side. It had for me. Maybe you need to lose yourself and doubt yourself because those two brought me to the place were him and I met. Sometimes, fake friends are the best.