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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2149733
If WDC had their own Big Brother show.
Sky blue cat earrings swayed from The StoryMistress Author Icon earlobes as she fixed her gaze on the nearest webcam. Her teeth flashed as she smiled at the WDC viewers and then at the contestants fidgeting on the virtual sidewalk.

"Welcome to Big Brother where eight WDC writers will live together until they either drive each other batty and run screaming from their chat rooms, or they're eliminated after completing silly tasks! Today, our contestants will battle for half a million GPs!"

StoryMistress nudged open the front door to the virtual house and gestured for the contestants to come forward.

"Remember," StoryMistress arched her brows and winked at the webcam, "All of WDC will be watching, so don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Eight pairs of feet shuffled into the house. The door snicked shut and the contestants awkwardly eyed each other.

                                                 PureSciFi Author Icon
                                       (chuckles)
                             We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.


"You brought a dog?" bobturn gaped, peeking around PureSciFi's black loafers. "I train dogs! Do you need any help training yours?"

                                                 PureSciFi
                                       (stares blankly at bobturn)
                             I was speaking figuratively.


"Oh," Bobturn frowned, "So...no dog?"

                                                 PureSciFi
                                       (sighs)


"Are you going to *Dialog* like that the whole *Clock* we're here?" LJ hiding under the bed Author Icon snapped at PureSciFi, "Sheesh. I can't believe I gave *Up* *Swordr* space *Monster2* for this."

"Hey, if you don't want to win the grand prize Abby Gayle Author Icon interrupted, "Feel free to make like an astronaut and, um, launch yourself back into space."

"Speaking of launch lunch," Genipher Author Icon said, stepping between Abby Gayle and LJ, "How 'bout we check out the kitchen in this house? We can get to know each other better over some eggs and bacon or something."

"Tocino?" Dragon is hiding Author Icon gagged, "Did someone say bagĂșn? I hate Speck!"

Genipher adjusted her glasses and gave Dragon her best "mom" look.

"You sound just like my kids, Dragon! I get enough of that nonsense at home. I came here to escape reality for awhile so you'll eat what you're served without complaint and you'll like it!"

Dragon crossed her arms over her chest, "You can't make me eat bacon! You're not mi madré! So neener, neener, neener!"

"Girls, girls! Enough 'o that bickering," deemac Author Icon jumped in.

"Who do you think you are, interrupting our bats toi?" Dragon snorted, "The WDC viewers are looking for a gut show and I mean to give it to them!"

Deemac shook his head. His brown eyes twinkled with mischief, "I'm the mysterious man from the Green Isles...and I say we grab some grub, like Genipher suggested. I've a mouth on me, you know."

With a grumble, the group meandered into the virtual kitchen.

"*Apple*, *Banana*, *Orange*..." LJ mumbled, looking through the fridge. "So much fruit! Where are the makings for a *Sundae*? I have a hankering for something sweet..."

                                                 PureSciFi
                                       (rifles through cupboards)
                             Yeah, well I want crackers and cheese.


The WDC writers had gathered a smorgasbord of food and piled it on the table when StoryMistress's voice came from behind them. The house guests glanced at each other before abandoning the food and rushing to the living room, where the host of Big Brother grinned at them from a giant television screen.

"Hello, house guests," StoryMistress greeted them.

The writers cheered and StoryMistress continued, "Every week one of you will be dubbed the Bigwig Author. That person will choose two of their fellow house guests for deletion from the game. To stay safe, you must win whatever crazy activity we decide to fling at you!"

Bobturn grunted at the television, "So what's the fun activity this week?"

"How many of you like music?" StoryMistress answered Bobturn's question with a question.

Abby Gayle raised her hand, "I know how to play the guitar and I'm learning the ocarina."

"Indian flute and synthesizer, here," Bobturn admitted.

"Well, this week y'all will write a song for our guest judge, Sophurky Author Icon."

"What's the catch?" NaNoNette Author Icon asked. Until that point, she had been quietly observing the interactions of the group, learning their strengths and weaknesses.

"Ah, the catch!" StoryMistress giggled, "Via paddy1's suggestion, there will be a list of taboo words." StoryMistress tapped the screen and a list of words popped up.

The eight contestants groaned at the long list.

"Time to get scribbling," StoryMistress said, "You have exactly one hour to present your song!"

Each writer fled to a different corner of the virtual house. They gnawed the erasers off their pencils and grumbled as they jotted down lyrics.

"Does anyone *Brain* what rhymes with *Music2*?" LJ shouted.

                                                 PureSciFi
                                       (scowls)
                             Thanks alot. You just made me lose my rhythm!


"You're so punny!" Bobturn smirked.

In the end, eight original songs were sent in bitem form to Sophy. The group of writers waited with baited breath for the winner to be announced.

StoryMistress finally appeared again on-screen.

"Our winner wrote a creative little number about LEGOs. Everyone give a round of applause to Octobersun for her little ditty entitled 'Ode to Legoland'!"

"*Acorn*!" LJ groaned, "I thought for sure my *Clef* about *BeakerR**Monster3* was going to *TrophyG*!"

"So who are the unlucky souls that are up for deletion?" Deemac asked. Everyone looked at Octobersun who blushed and pointed at Dragon and Genipher.

StoryMistress nodded toward the group, "Your friends at WDC will use the next hour to vote. One of you will leave Big Brother and the other will be the Have-Not for the week."

Genipher and Dragon cast nervous glances at each other for the next sixty minutes.

"The results are in!" StoryMistress chirped, causing Genipher to accidentally swallow the fingernail she had been chewing.

"Genipher, you have been voted off Big Brother."

Genipher wiped away her tears and hugged everyone before marching off-screen.

"That means I'm...the Have-Not?" Dragon gasped.

"This next week, you will not be able to write anything with the letter 'e' in it," StoryMistress said.

"Hay, no fair!" Dragon pouted as StoryMistress waved at the webcam.

"Tune in next week when our writers find out if the pen really is mightier than the sword!"

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