While I Was Alone Chapter III

-"Asleep?"
         I opened my eyes on the flashing light of the phone which I am not used to. Receiving a message after 12:00 AM wasn't often a part of my calm nights, but it happend that night. I tried to read the blurry SMS in a drunky sleepy way while remembering what did lead to this.
-"Uum, not yet, how are you ?"
I actually wanted to add a name if I didn't forget who was the person I was setting with this evening, I told my self that it's the sleep effect, or maybe chocolate is still dancing with my blood cells.
-"I had a very nice 'Soiré' today, this is how she announced it, a "Soiré" is Frensh word means night or evening with a little extra value of intimacy, and I hated that word.
-"Glad you did, now can we go back to sleep?"
         The funny thing is that she considered my rude attempt to shut the conversation down a nice flirt or indulgement, and I didn't mean it actually, my simple nature was calling me to go back to sleep.
         I woke up in the morning, it was another Sunday, prepared my coffee, and took my phone to call my mother in this ideal atmosphere I created. I have surprisingly found 15 messages from Fatiha, I read the first and the last one, to conclude that yesterday was good, and it was also the last "date" we are going to have since I was an asshole not to respond her messages. I didn't understand her reaction because I fall asleep out of my control, it was my usual time, I even added 10 extra minutes to respond her first messages. I laughed on the stupidty of the simlicity of my life, and how unaware I am of the things that could bring a man and a woman together, such as late hour messages.
         You might call me stupid or old fashioned, or even asshole for what I did, since it's the common thing that couples enjoy these days, but I hate being a part of this cycle just to be a part of it.If I wanted to do that I would have entered that coffee and fill it with all flirting expressions, and told her how beautiful she was and that I enjoyed it even if I didn't. I don't enjoy setting around a table trying to leave the best impression to the other person, or talking about my daily events as she pretends to be listening, I don't do that, not anymore.
         I decided to take a walk when I finished my coffee, I left my appartement in the good hands of my cat Saadia since it woke up at the same time as me, and it often waits for me at the door step while the other 4 people are asleep till afternoon.
         Oh Marrakesh, the silence of this city is romanticly suspicious, as I walk on the street with one or two cars passes every 2 minutes, it sounds like a vixen trying to seduce me with her magic, I smile when I see the working people; butshers, bakers and sellers moving the weels of this city and at the same time being the most ignored by her. Old men and women practicing sport in the early morning, greeting me with the most precious and warm words that doesn't exist anymore, you can have an entire conversation with everyone of these people with a single smile. but not everyone is lucky enough to live this experience, you should walk alone to live it.
         While I was walking I was wondering about how easily my potential relationship vanished as the sun rose up, a part of me wished if this could work, to have the chance to send 1000 SMS on whatsapp and messnger, and spend 90 hours on the phone, and change my dictionnary from "good night" to "good night bb,love u" with a winky emoji and lots of hearts too, I could have enjoyed that if I wasn't the person I am now. As I am writing these words I ask myself if those letters are supposed to be read by someone, and if this is the case, I hope you will understand why I am spearing myelf this voluntury punishement.