It Happened.

when it happened, you took something from me.
my voice. my fReewill. my thoughts.

when it hAppened, you showed me something.
my worth. my mistakes.
it was my fault.

i used to be free..
you caged me.

it.. is Plastered across my mind.

my chancEs are snatched away from me,
and all i wanna do is sink into the floor.

when it happened, I heaRd your voice clearly.
"you're too loud." "quit plAying." "i know you want to."

i didn't want to.
i should've screamed and ran.
i should've fought you more.
i should've cried for helP.
and boy.. do i cry for hElp.

when it happened, i watched.
i watched you use me. i saw no Remorse in your eyes.
i wAs just a vessel for you to plant yourself inside.
i meant nothing.
you mean nothing.

when it haPpened, it shouldn't have happened.
and i can't takE it back.
i can't fix what's bRoken. i can't fix me.
i wish i could fix you.

why did you think it wAs okay?
for you to touch me, when i didn't wanna be touched.
for you to try harder, after i Push you away.
for you to usE me, and find pleasure in it..

when it happened.. it still happens.
i Replay it in my head.
i see you.
i see me.
the hennessy.
the door.
my shoes.
netflix..
whAt happened to netflix?
me struggling.
your determined face.
me Painting an escape route in my head.

i was lost.
i am lost.

what happEned..
i wish it hadn't happened.