Survivor

The world seemed blurry and disjointed in Hannah’s eyes. Her thin body racked with invisible pain, her mouth too weak to cry out. However, in her mind lay an ominous silence, free from physical pain but not free from illness. A small satin box was clutched tightly in her cadaverous fingers.

Tangible fear was in the hospital room. This wing was always occupied with long term patients. Occasionally, a ritual of bed stripping and cleaning would be in process, but always for the wrong reason. No one smiled when they left this wing. Hopelessness and despair was plastered all over.

Hannah never slept. A constant beep of the heart monitor mercilessly ticked away the minutes of life she had left. When she did rest, and dozed off, it was fitful. Haunted by a past she could probably never have again. Pained images of her family were pasted on her mind but one memory of her best friend Satin would always make her ache with longing.

Hannah had been Satin’s best friend ever since kindergarten. She could still remember the first time they met. When Satin was still the shy, childish girl always sitting in the corner and she?... She was a boisterous girl who got all the attention. It had been the same through high school. No matter how many friends surrounded Hannah, Satin would always trail loyally behind. It had always been quiet Satin who had comforted Hannah and protected her in her special ways. Satin never asked for anything but it was her forlorn eyes that tormented Hannah now. She had never shown any recognition to Satin, but merely ignored her.

She had always loathed the way Satin acted like her shadow. Always following and copying. With a shudder, Hannah remembered year 9. Satin was diagnosed with Chronic Laryngitis. She couldn’t speak at all. Hannah couldn’t remember why- she never payed attention to Satin’s problems. For a prolonged period, Satin never followed Hannah again. She had sat in a weathered bench under a burnt oak tree- struck by lightning- coincidentally, just weeks before her diagnosis of Laryngitis. Sometimes she would pick daisies, string them in a chain and hang it on the oak tree- as if pointlessly adorning something that could never blossom again. There were rumours that she was not sane.

Sweat dripped off Hannah’s forehead as she recalled the night of the accident. She had been tottering down the sidewalk, fully drunk after intense hours of clubbing, when she tripped over her high heels and fell in front of a busy road. She could still remember the high- pitched squeal of the breaks from a car which had pierced the night air. Hannah recalled the pain when the car had rammed into her body, twisting and breaking her limbs sending her upturned and broken on the road like a limp ragdoll. The fateful night which landed her in hospital.

This time, Hannah relished the memory. It helped her forget- to forget her mistakes in the past. A cloud of anguish, fear and nausea gnawed and clutched at her. Her eyes rolled as she panted wildly. Her fumbling fingers opened the satin box. A deep smell of dried daisies filled her nostrils. Hannah remembered when Satin gave her this box, when she had woken up in hospital. It had felt wrong opening it at that time. Embedded amongst the dry daisies was a small neatly folded note: “Be Brave”

Dizziness manipulated Hannah. The satin box tumbled and fell onto the floor but the note was still clenched in her fist. Her breath came in ragged rasps. In- out- in… her eyes glazed over and her body jerked violently,

The alarm sounded on her bed. Pounding footsteps. Be brave. Panicked voices. Be brave. Hannah was dimly aware of the needles being inserted into her body and her arm being pumped with fluids. Be brave. An oxygen mask was shoved onto her mouth. The heart monitor slowed. Darkness tugged at the edge of her vision. Be brave.

She was dying, she knew it yet Hannah felt calm. She couldn’t hear anything- everything was peacefully quiet. Rainbow patterns seemed to radiate around her. She tried to speak.

“Sa…S…S Sat…Satin,” Her voice sounded tired and defeated. Abruptly the tranquillity ended.

Hannah was gradually aware of the droning in her ears becoming louder and louder. A soft sensation ran down her body. She opened her eyes to find the noise gone. She survived.

>>>>>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<

A year later, Hannah was discharged from hospital. One day she followed Satin to her usual eating area. For a second the two girls stared shyly at each other. So much had changed since Hannah’s accident. Biting her lip from sobbing, Hannah embraced Satin firmly.

“You always were my best friend,” She whispered. Satin smiled. Her eyes twinkled with tears.

Silently she beckoned to Hannah, and together they watched the small green shoots emerging from the burnt oak tree.

It was a survivor as well.