Choices

I sat up. The quietness of the room choked me. The only sound my ears could pick up was the relentless ticking of the clock, our breaths and the scream of my thoughts. I was afraid, probably in a very long time. I stared aimlessly at the painting infront, the one he gave me on our Anniversary, and strangely enough, I could see a smiling me as we put it up together.
I sighed and looked down. My hands proudly showed off the pretty charm bracelet he had made me wear that night. Suddenly, I felt something dying a little bit inside me. My minds took me down the staircase of memories and I landed on the day he had walked right into my office. My boss had informed of the newly recruited and during the formal introduction, he had caught my eye. I did not realize what was there in him that made my heart flutter, his neatly tucked in shirt, his ruffled hair, his perfectly shaped body, the confidence in his eyes or the slight curve that his lips made as they parted. I felt nervous.
I was his boss, but probably not for long. As days passed, we became closer. I could never fathom when he creeped into my heart and mind. And for all the wrong reasons, it never felt wrong, he being younger to me, I being married to another man. I came back to reality and saw my husband sleeping peacefully beside me. Somehow I wanted to go back to his thoughts.
Maybe he had sensed my weakening. That's why, during the office party that evening, I was lost. He had pulled me towards him and I could not push him back. I felt warm in his arms, and he cupped my body as if I was a delicate bubble, as we swayed to the rhythm of the music. Life was never the same. Every morning I woke up and dressed myself to look good, like old days. He had brought back to me the childish charm I had lost long ago. I blushed swiping through our pictures and would imagine myself with him and smile. He was an adventure and home all together. No, loving him had never been easy but honestly, I couldn't resist myself.
That night, as our bodies lay intertwined, nothing felt more real than us. My pillow smelled of his hair and I buried my head into it. My fingers fit right into his as he twirled my hair, talking softly into my ears. His body was a wonderland to me. I knew it right away. I was in love.
The dull music of the alarm clock made me shudder, piercing my chain of thoughts. It was 5. I had to get Lily ready for school.
My heart skipped a beat. My daughter's photo lay on the table beside me. I looked at it and my hands trembled as I picked it up. It terrified me. Why did I still not feel guilty?