Smile - An Aarmau Story

Prologue

Shadows crept up behind me, tussling and turning, trying to get me with all of their might. A man's voice gave a loud and malicious laughter enraging the shadows as he gave the command to keep moving. My legs suddenly gave out and the shadows pierced through my skin in the center of my chest, leaving a hot liquid flow spewing out from the wound. And then, it was black,
like a void of darkness.

The light shined in my eyes leaving me squinting, there was no pain, no anything.
I stood up from my bed. Wiping the cold sweat from my head. I sighed as I headed downstairs to get some breakfast.

"Down already, Aphmau? You sure like coming down earlier don't you?" Mom said.

Her concern was for nothing. I was fine. It was nothing really. I never understood a mother's concern. Probably because I will never be a mom.

"Yeah, I have something to do today so I have to get up earlier." I said, as cheerful as I could manage.

"Well, at least have some breakfast before you go!" She told me before I left.

"Sure." I sarcastically said as I headed out.

I was greeted with a cold winter's air. Little white flurries fell as if it was ash spreading across the land. The snow crunched as I walked down to my car. I opened the freezing car door, jumped in, and then put in the key into the slot to start the car. It was freezing cold. Like dry ice. The warm air came rushing through the vents. I sighed in relief. As I put my hand on the steering wheel, I heard a laughter, a man's laughter, similar to the man in my nightmares. I passed it off as my imagination. Then I pushed a button on the roof of the inside, and let go of everything. The space of the car was just as cold as the snowfall from outside.

I exhaled.































Chapter 1

My heart raced into action as the battle started. A man and women. They both looked so familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The man rushed towards the women with a large sword in hand, the man strived to assassinate the women. The women was hesitant on killing the man, but he was blinded by hate. The man struck first, defending herself the women put her sword in defense.

I called out to them. "Stop! There's no reason to fight!" My voice only echoed. The man smiled back at me. Only he could hear me apparently.
He caught the women off-guard and pierced her stomach, with a splatter of blood from her choking throat, and a sword poking through her, her stomach was staining her silky white dress with a dark red color. Then she collapsed on the ground with a loud thud
.
He smiled a wide-grinned, malicious, smile and turned to me pulling out his sword from the women.

He swung at me but it didn't hit, it was like I blocked it somehow? I really don't know.

His sword broke a soon as it went in contact with me. Was I that powerful? Was I going insane? I don't even know anymore. What was even the point?

Then everything turned to a black void. The abyss was calling out my name.

'Take my hand...' it said slowly, as it pulling me closer, with its' strings. I tried to pull away with all of my might, but it was no use, I slid, without a doubt I was dead.

Chapter 2


It started out as just a dream. It came back once every month, then once every week, then every day. When it started? I lost track.

What was even the point anymore?

Sometimes it's different. The women gets stabbed, or they're in the forest, together, happy. But today was another different one, I just wish it didn't
happen.

Five hours earlier...

I was in a battle stance, sword in hand. As I faced forward, I saw a familiar man. He had a dark purple long sword, dark messy hair, black eyes, and armor. And he had blood on his hands?

The battle had begun.

"I don't want to fight you!"

"You don't? Ha, that's laugh. You know what you started, Irene!"

"I don't even know you! And I'm not Irene!"

"Your words can't fool me, I know a divine when I see one."

"What are you talking about!? I'm NOT Irene!"

"Then who are you, Miss 'Not Irene.'"
"My name is Aphmau, and I will NOT fight, even if you kill me, I'll live on!"

"Aphmau, what a pretty name. Good to know your name before I strike you."

"Stri-? AAAHHH!" I had never scream so loudly in my life, I fell to my side, as my blood slowly drain out of me, my life was too. And then suddenly I woke up, I screamed and was bleeding too?

"APHMAU!! ARE YOU OKAY!!!??" Mom rushed in and ran towards me.

"Mom, I'm okay, just a nightmare."

"Oh my Irene! You're bleeding! Sit up for me..."

Blood was coming out from all across my chest.

"... Welp, I don't know Mom. I really don't know what I did." She rushed to get her phone. I heard some muffle words. "Mom! Really I'm okay!"

I stood up, walked a little bit, and then tripped on air. It was hilarious.

"Alright, just stay ther-, what are you doing! Don't do th- Oh my Irene." She stood there in shock.

"What? What's wrong Mom?"

"You... You're...-" Our doorbell rang. She ran to the door. Mom walked me outside. One of men outside walked over to me and picked me up gently. He followed the men and took me to the ambulance.

Five minutes later...

I was rushed into the hospital. Nurses came out and took me to a private room. After they got me into the room, a doctor came in, her name was Freya Night. As soon a she saw me she dropped all her supplies and went over to me.

"Oh my Irene! How did this happen!?"

"I have no idea. As long as I'm still living it's okay."

"It's OKAY!? At this rate you would be dead!" She picked up her stuff and
went into the other room, muffled voices are heard.
A few doctors came in, they looked at me, then a few more doctors came in, one by one they asked me questions like 'Does it hurt?', 'How did it happen?', 'When did this happen?', etcetera. In the end, they took me into the infirmary, and stitched me up.

I came out like a regular human being, and was surrounded by cameras. Apparently someone across the street posted my injuries online. And now a bunch of reporters are questioning me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. People I'm fine. Now please, I would appreciate it if this would not be posted online or on TV, it was just some accident. Now please, I would like to see my Mom."
Someone was bumping into the reporters.

"Miaha!"

"Mom!" I ran towards her, hugging her the minute I got in physical contact with her. My heart raced, my injuries hurt, but I just can't tell her. She worries about me. 'Why?' is that what I don't understand? "Can we go home?"

"Yes... I love you Miaha."
She held my hand as we walked out. Reports followed us, but I payed no
mind.

A few minutes later...

We got in the car, and drove off. Everything looked different from the way it was. Everything was brighter, and more vibrant.

"Aphmau, did you put on colored contacts?"

"No. Why?"

"Look in the mirror, your eyes, they're different."

"Weren't they always this color?"

"They used to be a dark brown. They're grey now."

"Oh, guess my eyes decided to be a different color today."

"They don't do that, Miaha." "What did you actually do?"

"I did nothing. I never do."

"What do you mean?" "What's going on?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"I can't if you don't tell me."

We arrived home. With a confused mother.

"You wouldn't believe anyway!"

"Aphmau! Get your butt back here!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted, never with that much rage before.

The ground cracked from my anger, I paused to see what I had done. I ran off, I was a monster. I ran across the street, the block, and then the subdivision. It took me a few hours to travel that far, but I did it. In the end I ended up at the park, three miles away from 'Home'.

The breeze was swaying, children were playing, and I just sat there on top of the roof of the playground. Looking out on the sunset, as the palm trees calmly synced with the breeze. I was glad the roof was flat, I was so fatigued and drained I felt like I could just lay down and sleep immediately,
which I did, actually.

I was in the same dream. The same familiar man, same familiar situation, same area. The forest.

"So, we meet again."

"..., let's just get this over with, what do you want with me?"

"'Let's just get this over with?' Wow, you really stepped up your game, Irene, oh sorry, Aphmau." He said sarcastically. "You know what I want!"

"To hurt me!? To take away from my life!? Why are you doing this!?"

"I want what you have." I screamed in anger and yielded my shining white sword at him and struck him, but he blocked me. The ground was cracking from the tension. "Now this is more like it! Come! Come at me with everything you've got!"

I swung my sword with no knowledge of what I was doing. But apparently I was pretty good. It continued for what seemed like twenty minutes. And we both got really banged up. Our clothes were ripped, and sweat trickled down from both of our heads. The ground was almost at stone level.

"What's going on?" A few random looked around and saw us strike each other with our swords.

"Oh look what we have here, Irene. Some villagers, how cute." He walked up to them and tried to stab the through the heart. I shifted to block him with my sword, I succeeded.

"Your fight is with me! Leave them alone!"

"You're trying to act like a good person, how pathetic, when you can't even manage to protect yourself."

"What are you talking about I'm perfectly fi-"

"At least... I could protect... them." And with that I collapsed on the ground, and it all faded to black. My eyes quickly opened to see a blurry hospital room with some more doctors surrounding me.

"How did I... end up... here?" I was very confused. It was too blurry for me to see anything. I sat up on the hospital bed. I felt a tug on my hair as I did.

"Huh? Why is my hair...?" My hair went to the floor?

"Ms. Aphmau?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly did you do? Did you get extensions? And did you stab yourself?"

"What? I had never gotten extensions in my life, and why would I stab myself?"

"Well your recent accident..."

"I told you I don't know how that happened. I woke up, felt no pain, my
Mom freaked out, call the ambulance, got stitches, and then I don't remember what happened after that."
I lied, I remember everything. No one can understand. Why does no one else see this?

"You- your heart, it was outside, of your- your body."

"Wait, seriously? Wow, I've been lucky."

"Wha-?"

The doctors went out of the room. I could hear some words they've spit out of their mouths. 'Not human...', 'What is...', 'How is tha...' is all I could hear.

What was on my mind, was how my hair got so long in one night. Yesterday night it was only breast level, now... it's on the floor, not sure how I feel about this.

As I looked at my hair closer, I realized it was a very dark purple. How is this even possible?! Was a sleepwalking or something? I don't know, but I don't want to dwell on it.

One doctor walked in. "Miss Aphmau, we're going to need you to stay here for the night."

"Why...?"

"We don't know what you're doing at night or if you're even telling the truth.
You realize you could've died right?!"

"But I didn't. Isn't that all that matters."

"If you do nothing and nothing happens we'll send you home."

"Okay..." I wasn't really happy with their decisions but it didn't seem like I had much of a choice...

I just want to stop this, and go home...



















Chapter 3

They left me alone for the night.

23:14:27

I wondered around the building... barefoot. Not the best idea. The floor was ice cold. Red everywhere. Red. Red. Red. That's all I saw.
I ran around humming 'Will Be Forgetting This.' I hope no one will hear me. I saw some of the patients. One of them in particular caught me eye. He
was so familiar.

...

It was Aaron. And he was... awake. In this hospital. I went into his room, moving the paper this blocking people from seeing other people, and stuff.

"A-Aaron!"

"Aphmau!"

I ran to him in tears.

"Aph what are you doing here?!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I got in a car crash. No damage but they wanted to make sure. If there isn't any damage they'll release me tomorrow."

"That's good. I'm glad you get to go home."


"What do you mean, you're not going home?

"Sorry, I have to go before I get caught, I'll see you later, Aaron.

It was about five in the morning when I finally went to sleep.

A few minutes into the dream...

"Leave me alone! I hate you!" Hatred.

"Come on, you know you love me." Lies.

"How could I ever love a monster like you!" Fury

"Liar." Truth.

Blood splattered out of my mouth.

"Wha-why...?" I cried out.

"You made your choice long ago!" What am I now?

What was left was a lavender color. It surrounded my eyes to show me something I couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't hear. All ever known was no feeling. And a sudden burst of sharp pains filled my body.

"I-T HURT-TS!!" A woman.

"Wait!" A man.

Soft spoken, both.

"Stop! Let me help!"

How could I have been so... Stupid.

I used to...? No. No, I hadn't. Haha... I've gone insane, haven't I?

"H-help... Pl-PlEAse!"
Him.

"Aphmau. You're okay. It's me, Eric. I know someone who can help you, but you need to trust him."

"I'll do Anythi-anything!

"Let me take her to him. She needs someone familiar."

Five hallways later... Which is pretty short...?

Suddenly, darkness. Pitch black darkness.

No more pain. No more feeling. No more... nothing.

I felt a dark presence. Familiar. The same familiar from earlier in the morning. Confusing, right?

"A-Aaron?"

"Aph! What happened to you?!"

"I... I can't say it. I'm sorry. Haha, I am pathetic aren't I?"
I was hiding the fact from an old friend, that I loved and trusted. What was I thinking?

"Please, tell me what happened."

"..."

I sat up and got out the hospital bed.

"Are you... Bleeding?"

"No, no, no, it's not what it looks like I swe-"

You blink for a second, and you get hugged. Sometimes you might even get a flower crown. I used to have a bestfriend named Ethan. He was... special.

"What are you do-"

"Tell me what's going on, I want to help you."

"Ha... Hahaha... Hahahahahahahaha!" I couldn't stop laughing. "Am I dead
yet?"

"Aph. Look at me. Does it seem like I'd let you die?"
Leaning into him, I cried me an ocean.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're okay. ... Let's go home, okay?"

"Okay. *sniffle*

Twenty minutes later...

I had gotten out of the hospital. They left me scheduled with a check every month to see how the wounds have healed.

Aaron took me home. He talked with Mom for a little while. They made an arrangement for me to stay at Aaron's house. I don't think she was too happy about it, but she wanted someone to keep track of my "condition."

I packed some clothes, hair pins, medical supplies for uh... reasons, and a few toiletries. And then we headed out. He was pretty quiet during the car ride there.

"Sorry you have to deal with this Aaron." I said panicky. We were at his house now.

"Aph, you're worth everything to me. Don't say that." He kissed my head. I blushed. We're a weird bunch aren't we?

I hopped out of the car. I slipped. I'm guessing I hit my head hard. I saw those 'visions.'

I heard footsteps. I rubbed my head as it throbbed. I saw someone. She looked like Lady Irene. Why am I seeing this?

Her words were as smooth as the word smooth itself. Then there was another voice. Mine...?

It told me many things, and then...

'Then we will share this body...'
Everything faded to white.

'You are me, and I am you, we are the same. In different times give or take. You are Irene.'

'No, you must have have a mistake! I'm not her! I can't be!!!'

'You are Irene. You must accept your fate. We shall live on for all of time. Not even I can stop that. Now, you must wake up. Before he finds your mindscape. But it sounds like he did a pretty good job trying to get into your mind already.'






























My heart beat loudly as the pain grew larger. I could feel it shatter but yet still beat.

Am I really...?

I was too focused on the pain, to even give a thought about it. It was just too much. Just too... much...
How was this possible?

"AARON!!!!"

But nothing came to find my pain unbearable as I did. Not even silence called me out for my hopelessness. Not even a ringing in my ear. My screams made no trace of sound. No pleas were heard. And nothing
happened.

But then...

I felt a slight shaking within the ground. A blast of color welcomed me back to the world. Where was I? It was full of people surrounding me. People calling my name, pleading me to become myself again.

I sat up and looked up at them.

"What... Happened," I paused for a second to look around. "Where... am I?"
"Wasn't I just in Aaron's house?" "Where is this!?" I questioned.

"You... you don't know?" I think that was Emmalyn, but my vision was still blurry, so I was never sure.

"Aphmau. Are you okay?" Lucinda, I think?
"I'm fine, just please tell me where I am."

"You're in the Phoenix Alliance Island, how did you not know by the surroundings?" Garroth?

"I- I think I'm dreaming- Is this some sort of cruel joke?"

"Why would we be joking about this, Aphmau?" Dante.

"Please, tell me what's going on. I don't know what happened but I don't remember any of this despite you guys being in my neighborhood." "Please just give me a second to look around. I don't know what's going on, and I just need a minute to process."

A few Mentos -that taste really good- later...

I had climbed up the mountain. It was relatively steep, but I didn't care. I just wanted to know what happened. I was at Aaron's house and now he's nowhere to be seen. I just want all this, to stop.

By the time the sun had set, I had climbed to the top of the mountain. I was sitting atop of some snow. It reminded me of something, so familiar, but yet so far away. It was on the tip of my tongue too. I lied there, reminiscing about the times I spent with Aaron, so that I didn't feel so alone. But the truth was, I was alone. And forever alone.

I slid down the mountain to find a place to call 'shelter,' great name, I guess.

After a while, I found a little cave in the mountain. It looked as if some alligators had lived there. The place was trashed and filled with scales, but it'll do.

As I gathered up some materials for a bed, I heard some footsteps, and dropped it all on the stone cold floor, literally.

"Who's there?!"

"Aww come on, you already know me. Come and guess."

"Why did it have to be YOU?! Of all people!" He always comes at the worst
of times.

The mountain shook from these statements. We used to be something
better than this I can tell by the way he tries to get me to remember. He treats me like..., I did something..., horrible to him. Whatever happens, may Irene be on my side.

"Do you remember me? Irene?"

"I told you! My name is Aphmau!" I yelled in fury. He gets on my nerves.

"Oh really now? Then, give me a reason why you are not Irene."

"Well... I, uh..."

"Exactly- Oh! Looks like your friends are here, this'll be fun."

I was clueless on what he had to say. I just, could not fathom everything that has been happening to me. It all just started from when I was a kid, but this...

I curled up in a ball "This isn't happening! I don't understand anything! What do you want from me!?"

"Haha, like I said, you know exactly what I want from you. Give it to me, and I'll end all of this."

"I'd rather keep it than give it to you!" I spat with bitterness. More footsteps came approaching near. "I may not know what you are, what's going on here, or why you're doing this, but whatever happened I'm sorry, whoever did this to you I'm sorry, but I should not have to pay for it just because someone else did it to you!"

"Aphmau there you are, we've been looking for y- Shad!"

"Enough of this! I've had enough. It's time to end this. I give up! You win!

Now just tell me what you want and take it I'm done. And forever will be." I walked away, I didn't want to deal with this anymore. I just wanted it to go back to when I was a kid, or a teen, well before the age of twenty-three.

"All talk, no fight, huh? Well, there wouldn't be any fun with giving up would there?" Next thing I knew there was a blade to my neck. "Dare me to?"

"... What happened...?"

"Ha, ha, ha, that was funny."

Emmalyn had run off. No one was seen. We were alone.


"Are you Aaron? Or the person I see in my dreams."

"I'm real. And you're in my world now!"

"What do y-" I screamed in pain. Blood spilled out of my mouth. And I just, collapsed onto the ground. "A-Aaron, I guess... this means I... won't get to kiss you... again...?"





























Chapter 4

Dark. Just dark. It surrounded me like a void, collapsing my lungs, leaving me breathless. I thought I was dead?

It was cold. And dusty. Like ash in the moonlight. It felt like stone. Piercing me with the thought if death haunting me and I roamed the Earth as a spirit.

I longed for a relief from this nightmare. This was my life. Hurt and lies.

Every day was a constant cycle of nightmares killing me from the inside out.

There was a beat. Like a drum that echoed throughout my mind, reminding me of how life used to be. Calm and quiet.

My eyes opened to reveal my resting place; a bed of quartz, supporting my weight despite the major cracks in the pedestal. Spikes of memory shot up into my cracking heart. It wasn't real right?

I sat up, grasping my clothes to reveal a dress like the one in my nightmare a while back.

Sparks of what used to be me.

Someone great, someone I can't be. Not anymore at least.
A water droplet. Like a pen drop.

"Hy-Hyria!" I rushed over to hug her in a tight embrace of an old friend.

Every memory, every feeling, every thought, came rushing into my mindscape. Everything I doubted is true. They were all true. "I remember,
thank you, old friend."

"How is it going? Irene or Aphmau?"

"After all that's happened, I think I can accept the name 'Irene'."

"And you deserve it. I watched every step you took. You overcame so much. I'm proud of you."

"I feel so drained. What happened when I...?

"Shad he... uh... attacked the island and then fled. Your friends carried you all the way to the sacred forest."

"Why was all this happening to me? I know I should be blessed that this happened to me but why...? So many times, I almost was in the afterlife because of these nightmares."

"You were chosen, a long, long, time ago, to be whom you were. You didn't win a war in one day."

"I-... I-... Can I go home? The home I had with Aaron."

"If you are sure."

"I am."

"Come with me."

She raised a portal with the kin of the quartz I was resting on. It haunted me with old memories. It had been so long since I was with Aaron. May be a year. I hope it wasn't too long.

Through the hard times I struggled to stay alive. I just wanted it all to end. But now hopefully stops and doesn't repeat.

"Thank you, Hyria."

We went through the portal all the way.

We ended up in the park. A grove covered the landmark we came from.

The portal we came from. Oddly enough time didn't seem like it passed. It must have been nearly an hour.

"Thank you, so much, Hyria. I think I have it from here. I will visit often, I promise."

"I'll see you soon then, Irene."

"Alright."

I made it to our home. I saw in the window. Oh no...

Aaron, he was... pacing.

I knocked on the door. I saw him run to the door. The door slammed open.

"Aphmau, thank Irene, your safe!"

He hugged me.

This feeling I felt... Sad, happy, something? Whatever happened to him must have been hard.

"Aaron, I- I missed you so much! What happened to you? I was gone for about a year... wasn't I?"

"You were gone for a day! Where did you go?!"

"I- long story."

"What are you wearing? You look like... Irene. Are you... Cosplaying?"

"Long story."

"Everything is different. How did you change in a day?"

"Very, very, long story."

"What do you want to tell me?!"

He yelled through the entire house. Did I really know him? Did I really know him?

"I- I-... I am Irene."

"How? You must be lying!"

"Why would I be lying about this? Do you, think... that I would be disappointing, if I tell y-"

He hugged me. And then...


Chapter 5

I ran from him. Faster than I could. I couldn't fathom everything that has happened to me anymore. I couldn't take it anymore.

I had gotten to the kitchen.

I grabbed a knife.

And I ended my suffering.

It sounded like it would be a good idea. But I was wrong!

I saw as everything went black. Streaming tears from his face, he found me. Will this be the end?

Chapter 6

I spectated Aaron from above the clouds.

"Aphmau... no..."

Why...

I took out my phone and called medical service.

As soon as they came I saw people surround me.

"Help!" I cried out. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. Life was meaningless without her. And now... she's gone.

They took her away from me. What happened to make her do this to herself?

Let this be the last time.

A few sticky marshmallows later...

We weren't at all prepared for what was happening next.

She was really gone.

They couldn't get her to wake up. She was completely gone. No heartbeat or anything.

Every inch of my body hurt. Grief filled my eyes, dropping to the ground, my ears perked up, and my eyes turned.

"Wake up...!" "Please..." I weeped loudly. There was no fixing what had been done.

If only... I could go back... to the past... and fix this.

The doctor came out of the room, walking past me I heard the loud cries and screams.


Fin...