Which Came First?

“Which came first,” my friend asked, after a big swig of coffee. The diner was unusually packed for a Sunday night, and I strained to hear him amid the din. “The chicken or the egg?”

I’d just taken in a forkful of O’Brien potatoes, and considered his question. Who’s O’Brien anyway? I pondered, noting how particularly savory tonight’s starchy offering was. I preferred their hashbrowns, though. It must be Angel in the kitchen—he hated cooking hashbrowns. Focus, man! I warned, reminding myself of the query at hand. “Well, it depends.”

“Go on,” said my friend, who eyed the eggs on his plate, likely wondering if they were indeed fried over easy as he’d requested. I noted when our plates were dropped earlier that his eggs looked a bit towards being over medium.

“Depends on whether you want me to answer with a scientific lens or a theological one,” I said. I swished the tea bag in my mug of hot water. I noticed the bag’s tag stated EARL GREYER. Earl Greyer? As in more grey than the original Earl Grey? Who decided that it was?

“Good point,” my friend said. “Let’s start with the theological and end with the scientific. God knows we always end up there.”

I smirked, knowing his full meaning. “Okay. So, from a theological standpoint, the chicken would’ve had to come first, because God…” I paused, gesturing air quotes with my fingers, “…created all the animals—I believe it was on the sixth day—and, I would have to assume this creation included chickens.”

“And they were already chickens,” my friend interjected.

“Exactly,” I said. “God wouldn’t have created chickens in egg form. Because, who would’ve incubated and hatched them? Eve?”

“Careful,” my friend interrupted. “Possibly sexist.”

“You’re right,” I said, “Sorry. Adam could’ve easily had such duties.”

My friend shot me a close-lipped smile, undoubtedly feeling triumphant. He forked some eggs in his mouth. He grimaced—they were indeed over medium— and chewed quietly.

“Now, in contrast,” I continued, “from the scientific, a.k.a. correct point of view…” I paused to allow my friend to exaggeratedly roll his eyes. “…modern-day chickens are generally accepted to be descendants of the dinosaurs. And, during one fateful evolutionary leap, a chick emerged from its egg in the chicken’s current iteration.”

“So, scientifically,” my friend added, “the egg came first?”

I nodded simply, and took a sip of my Earl Grey— I mean, Greyer— tea. I scanned my plate to determine my next bite.

“I think your explanation is a bit flawed, though,” he said.

I looked up from my scrambled eggs to consider my friend. “How so?”

“Well,” he said. “It’s also generally accepted—scientifically—that life began from plankton, correct?”

“Phytoplankton,” I said, although I was not one hundred percent certain. I’m a philosopher, not a biologist, I thought, hearing Star Trek’s Mr. Spock’s voice in my head.

“Right,” my friend agreed, although I sensed hesitation in his voice. “Anyway, if science is dependent on evolution for its stance on whether the chicken preceded the egg or vice versa, it seems that science all but proves that the chicken came first, too.”

I cocked my head akin to how a dog would when confronted with a command with which it wasn’t familiar. “Come again?”

“If we were to draw a parallel between creationism and the beginnings of life as assumed by science,” he continued, “then, the egg was not among what originally existed.”

My eyes narrowed, and understood immediately in which direction his explanation was headed. The premise was flimsy at best but I wasn’t about to be dismissive, which I’ve been known to be. I took in a mouthful of scrambled eggs, hoping to stall. The server dropped-off our bill.

“Therefore,” he said, “while you’re technically correct that the modern-day chicken emerged from its egg via that quote-en-quote evolutionary leap, everything actually started with that phytoplankton.”

“Yes?”

“Which was not an egg.”

“Right. It was not an egg...”

“So…?”

The diner’s doorbell rang as a couple walked in. I noticed the wall clock above the counter stating the time. “Wow, it’s late. We should finish things up here.”

“Wait,” my friend said, “Did I win?”

I swallowed and sipped another mouthful of tea. The fluid had gone tepid. “Let’s just say that you posed an interesting argument.”

“So, I won?”

“Well, it wasn’t really a competition…”

“Right…” my friend said, smiling.

I didn’t agree with my friend’s assessment—it was ludicrous, really, and had no bearing from my point of view. Phytoplankton weren’t eggs? No, duh! I set my debit card on top of the bill. The total was only sixteen dollars. Pretty cheap for two meals, I thought. I could’ve easily paid for the whole thing, and I ordinarily would have. But, I didn’t want the gesture to be misconstrued. After all, it was an unspoken rule between us that whoever loses an argument pays the bill.

“Our totals are about the same. Should we just go fifty-fifty?” I asked.

My friend took a beat. “Sure," he said, pulling out a card from his own wallet.

I tried not to attach any meaning to how he placed his card on top of mine...


Written for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophurky prompt for 2017-10-23
Prompt: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Make sure you explain why in your entry!
Word Count: 852