This Side of My Skin

You see skin soft, freckled, and fair,
bright hazel eyes and feathered hair.
A small cute nose with high cheek bones,
painted toenails with round bubbly toes.
Some curves on the waist, muscles so ripped,
a whole body that is simply athletically fit.
Long legs that stretch down to the earth,
with a belly that is unaffected by births.
On her skin you see shadows of scars,
now fading from memory just like old stars.
For now a young girls body is paired,
with the old soul of someone whom was spared.
Her face is gentle and round,
a smile she wears that can knock men to the ground.

Or so she is told...

Now see me through my eyes,
this side of my skin.
The trials I have walked through,
crawled through,
and fought through,
just feel where I have been.
The safety of being sheltered,
rip it away to a life,
to a world,
to a hole,
an entirely emotional downspin.
My heart is tired and ragged,
my soul had to cling to life,
I tasted insanity,
I kept asking "when?"
When will the picture make sense,
and when will it end,
why now,
I am his love, or had been.
Constantly battling the scars that he left,
that he dug in my skin,
the emotional traumas,
caused by his characters spin.
Stronger than ever am I,
for walking away,
claiming myself,
wiping away tears and lifting my own chin.
For this love that I lost,
to a man lost in pain,
took with it my innocence,
from who I am today.

I wear the smile that knocks men dead,
to not let them see me as prey.
I keep my self distracted and fit,
to battle my memories of dismay.
Never again will I be taken for granted,
the naive little girl is gone,
and the pains slowly fade away.

So see me not only as the girl with gold hair,
long legs with skin bare,
freckles and bright eyes,
but as the woman who knows heartache,
and is emotionally strong,
with a star in her eye to battle the odds,
a smile on her lips to face every day,
for each day a war rages,
but know me as the woman who will win.