Sehnsucht

Is it possible to miss something
that was never yours
to begin with?
I think it might be.
I swear to you,
I can taste it.
Like blood on my tongue
when I split my lip.
It tastes like sadness and anger
have bathed each other
in sweet caresses and
tender, loving kisses.
It tastes unforgiving.

How does one mourn
a laugh they've never heard,
a smile they've never seen,
a touch they've never felt?
I play over and over
the memories we've never had.
Like the time we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe.
Your laugh was to me
the distinct crackle of static
before the tape on the cassette
expels the sound within
Your smile, it was reminiscent
of the way the sun felt
on snow dressed streets.
I cling in desperation
to the times we've never shared.
It's hopeless.

"What are you missing?"
Can you taste it?
I'm sure it's masked by
the liquor that pulses through you.
I know your mouth struggles
to find the shape of these words.
I can picture it now.
Your lips moving softly, deftly.
I wish it was me
you lamented over.
I want to respond
"You."

This metallic hesitation,
It's unrelenting.
Permeating every taste bud
like a raging ocean lapping violently
at the levies.
They're barely holding on.
I can relate.