The Birthday Clown Who Wasn't

THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN WHO WASN'T

“This party sucks.”

“Excuse me, young sir?”

“Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.”

“That's alright. What were you saying about this party?”

“I was just saying this party stinks. Nobody wants to talk to me.”

“I kind of know how you feel. When I was your age, I was treated the same way when I went to birthday parties.”

“Really?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“But…you’re a clown.”

“I’m a clown now, but I wasn’t always a clown. I was once a little boy, just like you.”

"I guess I shouldn’t blame them for not talking to me. I’m new in this town, and I don’t really know anybody. I'm not even sure who sent me the invitation.”

“Yeah, it’s not really their fault. They’re just dumb little kids. Heck, I’ve been in this town for years, and I always come to these birthday parties. And yet every time I show up, nobody pays any attention to me. I may as well be invisible.”

“Gosh. That must really be tough, especially since you’re a clown. I always thought that clowns would be the main attraction at things like this.”

“That’s the way it used to be, at least until that John Wayne Gacy guy screwed everything up for us.”

“John Wayne Gacy?”

“Oh. He’s a few years before your time.”

“What did he do?”

“Back in the 70’s he went around to kid’s parties dressed as a clown by the name of ‘Pogo’. He was really well-liked too, but it turned out he was a psychopath, and he killed a bunch of teenage boys and buried their bodies under his house.”

“Wow. That’s scary. I can see how he gave clowns a bad reputation.”

“Yeah, he ruined it for us, alright. If only he wouldn’t have got caught...”

“Pardon me?”

“Never mind. Hey, do you like balloons?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you go over there and grab one?”

“You think I should?”

“Why not? Nobody’s looking. They’re all busy playing Pin The Tail On The Donkey. It’s not like they’d miss it.”

“Well, OK.”

…

“You got a red one.”

“Yeah, it’s my favorite color.”

“You know, this birthday party is pretty boring. I think there’s another one down the street. Would you like to go to that one?”

“Another birthday party?”

“I saw it on my way over here. It looks like it’s a lot more fun, too. They even have one of those inflatable bounce houses.”

“Gee, I don’t know if I should.”

“C’mon, kid. You’ll love it. After all, you only live once.”

“Well, OK.”

“Good deal.”

“By the way, sir, I didn’t get your name.”

“Well, I can’t tell you my real name, but my clown name is Penny. Penny Wise. Nice to meet you.”