Eight Crazy Nights remake: Night One

FADE IN: LOOK UP AT THE NIGHT SKY AND INTRODUCE TITLE (‘A REMAKE OF ADAM SANDLER’S’ IN SMALL TEXT AND ‘EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS’ IN LARGER TEXT). PAN DOWN TO THE FIRST ACTUAL SETTING OF THE MOVIE MENTIONED BELOW.
MEILING’S LOTUS GARDEN

A Chinese themed restaurant with a simple oriental design. The inside of the restaurant is dimly lit (use shades of traditional colors) and there are several booths and tables. Pan around the room and then zoom close to DAVEY, who is in a booth drinking his fourth Scorpion Bowl. AMELIA, a waitress of Chinese descent, goes over to DAVEY to give him his check. She takes note of the other three Scorpion Bowls.

AMELIA
(Sarcastically) Wow! Four Scorpion bowls in one sitting. That’s got to be a new record. Is that all for tonight?

DAVEY
(Lets out a short, but disgusting burp) Maybe one more Bowl? I’ll make it worth your time.

AMELIA has a disgusted look on her face, but she quickly corrects it.

AMELIA
I think you’ve had enough. Have a good night, Mr. Stone. (Places a bill on the booth and walks away) I need a shower.

DAVEY looks at the bill. Displeased by the price, he tears up the bill and walks out of the restaurant to his car. TWO COPS see him and begin to confront him.

COP ONE
Are you drinking and driving, Mr. Stone?

DAVEY
Nah, I just wanted to tell my car that I’ll see her tomorrow morning before I walk home.

AMELIA runs out of the restaurant to confront DAVEY about the unpaid bill.

AMELIA
Police! Arrest him!

COP 1
What’d he do this time?

As COP 1 says this, DAVEY quietly steps away.

AMELIA
He didn’t pay for his four Scorpion Bowls! There he goes!

DAVEY runs away and the COPS take chase. Somewhat repeat the chase scene from the original movie, but leave out the musical number and potty humor.

DAVEY passes by a man throwing away garbage. He grabs the trash can lid and slides down a stair railing. This allows him to slide through the alley and down a street. DAVEY grabs a batch of Christmas lights and ties up two cops. He ditches the lid and pushes past a woman with groceries. A cop on snowmobile approaches. DAVEY pulls the cop off of it and jumps on. His intoxication causes him to lose focus on the road. This leads him to crash into an ice sculpture of Santa Claus and his reindeer.

COP TWO
Davey Stone, you are under arrest for driving while intoxicated, public vandalism, evading arrest, and assaulting a police officer!

DAVEY
Damn it!

FADE OUT:
END OF NIGHT 1