Lost part 4

VII

Jace stood in his room, looking out of the open window.
The confrontation with Clary had left him rattled to the bone.
He knew she was right, but the fact that she had seen so completely through his facade when even Alec or Isabelle had never done that in all those years… He didn’t know what to think off that.
His behaviour hadn’t changed since she had come into his life, if anything, he thought he’d been even more careful around her.
But it seemed that just didn’t do the trick and Clary had been far more perceptive than he had anticipated.

Over the past six years he had carefully constructed a strong wall around himself. Learning, even before that, to keep his face straight, not to show too much emotion, weakness or pain. He had learned how to conceal the obvious signs of the abuse and to keep his distance from people when coping got too difficult.
It had all worked so well, and now his whole world had been turned upside down.
He didn't resent Clary for it, but it did make the whole situation far more difficult, something he didn't like.

Finally he went to bed, popping down on his belly so as to avoid his battered back.
He didn't know how to go from here.
Should he tell Clary? But then, what could she do against Valentine? It would probably just put her in danger, he thought sadly.



Clary had cleaned the soup bowl and the counter top with shaking hands. Something was seriously off and she didn't have any idea what that might be. Jace was hurt, and not just a little bit judging by the bloody handprint he had left in the kitchen.
She was pretty sure that neither Alec or Izzy knew anything about it. But how was that even possible? They lived under the same roof and if Clary could see the changes in Jace’s behavior, surely so could they.
Unless of course they had never seemed out of the ordinary for them. If this had been going on long enough, they might have put it down to the death of his father and disappearance of his mother.
Clary’s stomach clenched at the idea of this kind of abuse going unnoticed for so long.

Just as she wanted to make her way back to the living room Alec appeared in the hallway.
“Clary?” he asked
“Are you ok?”
“Oh, yeah… I guess so.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“I just had a very strange encounter with Jace, that's all. I think he went up to bed now.”
“I guess so, yes. I heard his bedroom door close in any case. But what do you mean by a strange encounter?”
“I'm not really sure. He just acted really funny, distracted and he seemed to be in pain.” Clary sighed.
She hadn't been planning on telling anyone, but with Alec turning up unexpected, she just blurted it out.
“Jace had always been a little withdrawn at times. You know, when his past catches up with him. He's been like that ever since he came to live with us. It used to be really frequent and we kind of learned to leave him be when he went into that mindset.
“I get why you are worried, but I'm not sure that's really necessary though.”
“Oh…”
“But I'll keep an eye out, just in came something might be the matter after all. Thanks for telling me.”
“No problem, and thanks for looking out for him. You really are the best brother he could have Alec.”


So she had been right about one thing, the changes went so far back that to Alec and Isabelle it wasn't strange at all.
That meant that, whatever was going on here, had been happening for over five or six years. It made Clary want to throw up.
She felt so angry and confused at the thought, but most of all it made her feel very sorry and sad for Jace, who had to go through it all on his own.
She couldn't fathom how lonely and abandoned he must feel.
She wanted to go up to his room and comfort him, but she didn't.
Instead she went back to the living room where Simon and Izzy were waiting for her to pick a new movie.
The randomly picked a DVD out of the box and handed it to Simon. She wasn't in the mood for it, but felt she had to keep up appearances for Jace's sake.


At some point during the fifth movie of the night Clary had finally drifted off into an uneasy sleep. Simon and Isabelle had been asleep for a while already, but Clary’s head had been spinning and sleep had eluded her.
Now however she had jerked awake, her mind apparently still on high alert even in sleep. She heard the soft padding of bare feet in the hallway and saw the light of the kitchen flip on.

Swaddling herself in her blanket Clary got up and went to the kitchen to have a look.
As she had expected, she found Jace there, rummaging through the fridge.
He turned around when he heard her coming through the door and smiled.
“Hey Clary, I didn't mean to wake you up.”
“That’s ok, I don't mind. How are you feeling now?”
“Better, thanks. And I'm sorry for storming out earlier. I just needed some time.”
“That's ok, I guess. You gave me quite a scare though. Do you want to talk about it?”
Jace sighed and pulled a chair out from under the table. He plopped down on it, face in his hands and slowly shook his head.
“I don't know Clary. I'm sorry, I really don't.”
“Jace,” Clary said, sitting down next to him.
“You have to talk to someone, please.”
“I can't.” his voice came muffled from between his hands.
“Why not? Jace you are hurting, being hurt by someone I think, this isn't ok.”
Jace didn't say anything, he just shook his head more vigorously as if trying to convince not just Clary, but also himself, that he couldn't speak.
“Oh for the love of God Jace, you left a bright, brilliant, blood red handprint on the countertop earlier this evening!” Clary said in desperation.
“I saw that, I cleaned it up after you left and before Alec came in.”
“You need help and you need it quickly. There is no way you can't agree to that! Please, just let somebody help you.”
Jace’s head shot up and he looked at her through bloodshot eyes.
“Did you tell Alec?” he blurted out.
“About the blood?”
“No, I didn't. Didn't think you'd like that. But maybe I should have. Because then you'd have to get some help.”
“Please don't tell him.” Jace whispered, desperation in his voice.
“Please…”
There was so much pain in those few words that tears came to Clary’s eyes.
She reached out and took Jace’s hand in hers. His fingers closed automatically around hers, holding on for dear life.
He bowed his head until it rested on their enclosed hands and Clary could feel hot tears rolling off her fingers.
She tangled her free hand in his hair and pulled him closer to her. He obliged seeking refuge in her embrace.
“I won't tell them, I promise.” she whispered, and she felt him relax a little.
“I'm sorry” he said softly
“I know this must seem insane to you, but I can't talk about it. I hope one day I can, but right now… there's just too much at stake. I can't explain it properly, but I promise Clary that if one day I'm able to talk about it, I'll tell you.”
“Thank you Jace. I won't pry, and I won't tell anyone. But I want you to promise me one thing.”
Jace looked up at her, eyes still bright with tears, but a little calmer now.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Promise that, if you ever have a time like tonight again, when you feel you can't cope on your own, that you'll come to me. I won't ask questions, you don't have to talk about it or say anything at all, but at least you don't have to be alone. Do you think you can do that? Either here or at my place, I don't care, alright?”
Jace nodded.
“I think I can do that.” he said, before pulling her close to him again and whispering “Thank you.” in her hair.
That night they slept side by side in the living room, close together and sharing a blanket.



The next morning they were woken by clattering in the kitchen and the smell of fresh brewing coffee.
Isabelle and Simon looked a little sheepish realising they had spend the night cuddled up next to each other.
Clary and Jace both stretched and yawned on the floor, teasing the other two.
A few minutes later Magnus walked through the door holding a try stuffed with breakfast. Coffee, tea, cereals, toast, and whatever else one could wish for.
He was promptly followed by Alec who held a similar tray in his hands.
They pushed all the rubbish off the table, settled the breakfast in it's place and then plopped down comfortably next to Clary, who smiled covertly to Alec.
He seemed to be following her advice and she was happy for him.
Magnus was a really nice guy and he and Alec fit together perfectly.
“So, how was movie night?” Magnus asked.
“It was nice.” Clary smiled,
“Simon and Isabelle got along very well. Didn't you guys?”
Everyone laughed when both friends turned beetroot red and stumbled out some incoherent words.
“How was your night Magnus?” Clary asked in return.
“Oh it was very fun. Went out with Alec, met up with some other friends, you know.” Magnus said and looked at Alec with a very special look in eyes.
Clary noticed how both Isabelle and Jace flashed looks at each other that were somehow far more understanding than Clary had expected. She looked over to Alec and saw a look of immense relief in his eyes. Clary quickly squeezed Alec’s hand and then settled herself more comfortably next to Jace. She slipped her arm behind his back and pulled him a little closer, just for the sake of companionship and support. He leaned into her a little, silently acknowledging her intentions and showing his gratitude.

“Any plans for today?” Alec asked.
“I was going to show Simon around town and catch up a bit. We haven't seen each other for a long time. Maybe we can meet each other somewhere tonight?”
“Sounds like a plan. What did you have in mind?” Izzy asked
“Just dinner somewhere. Doesn't have to be fancy, and maybe a drink afterwards.”
“Sure, I'm up for that. How about you Jace?”
“Yeah, sounds good. Alec, Magnus, will you join us?”
“Probably, text us where you're going and when. We'll let you know.”
“That's a deal.” Clary concluded and with that she and Simon got up and prepared to leave.
Just before she went out of the door, Clary quickly pressed a small kiss on Jace’s cheek, smiled and pulled the door closed behind her.


“So, you and Izzy.” Clary said to Simon when they were well on their way downtown.
Simon looked at her and blushed.
“Well…” he said.
“Well yes, I like her.”
“You really really really like her.” Clary traded, and they both laughed.
“Yeah, I do. Too bad I'll be going home in a week.”
“That doesn't have to mean anything. I'm sure you can keep it up till the next holiday, and who knows what happens then. We’ll be going to college then.”
“We’re going to the same college actually. I just got accepted to NYU.” Simon said happily.
“Really? That's awesome Simon! I applied too but I didn't hear back yet. But Izzy did then?”
“Yeah, she got her letter last week she told me.”
“Did she say anything about Jace? Did he apply? We never really discussed it before.”
“No, she didn't say anything about him. Sorry. But then again, what's between the two of you?”
“Nothing really, we're friends.”
“Yeah right.” Simon said, rolling his eyes at Clary.
“The way you two were cuddled up this morning doesn't leave all that much to the imagination.”
“I'm serious Simon.” Clary said a little indignantly
“Me and Jace are just friends. Yes we are close and yes, when things got bad for me with the whole situation in the alley, he was there for me when the nightmares would be too hard to cope with. So whatever it is you think you’re seeing here, get it out of your mind.”
“Wow Fray, don't get your knickers in a twist. I was just teasing you know. I think that, if you had been dating Jace I'd have known by now. You're not the kind of person to keep that silent, not for me anyway.”
“You've got a point there. Besides, I don't think Jace is at all interested in me that way and next to that he's having a really hard time, so I doubt there's time to spare for trivial things like a girlfriend right now.”
“Maybe you can fool others here into believing what you just said, but you don't fool me Clary.” Simon said.
They had arrived at a small cafe and each pulled out a chair.
“What do you mean?” Clary said, trying to sound off hand.
“You care about Jace a lot, but, you also really like him. I've seen you look at him and I saw your face just now. You don't want to care because you know that, right now at least, there is no chance at a relationship. But you do care, and you care a lot by the looks of it.”
Clary sighed, looking down at her hands.
“I know. You're right Simon, I do care, a lot. But it's frustrating knowing nothing can come of it.” Clary said sadly.
“It really hurts, but the thing is, I know he also needs a friend, especially now because he's having a really hard time. He won't talk about it but I know it anyway. And that hurts even more. It kills me to see him so unhappy and there is hardly anything I can do. I can't fix it, I can't make it better or make it go away.”
“No, you can't.” Simon said softly.
“But you can do something else.”
“Like what?”
“Just be there for him. Let him know that, whenever he needs you, you'll be there, without question.”
“I already told him that, yesterday when we talked.”
“Good, and right now that's the only thing you can do, but also the only thing you have to do. He needs time. Just give him that and eventually he'll talk to you.”
Simon took Clary’s hand and squeezed it, trying to comfort her.
It was hard for him to see his friend hurting like this.
On the other hand, is was the first time that he had seen her so involved with someone else but himself. For years he had longed for something more than friendship with Clary, but at the same time he had known it would never work. It would be overly awkward to try and have a relationship with her. Something like kissing your sister. He shuddered a little at the thought.
The rest of the day went by amicably with talking, eating, drinking and just enjoying each other's company.

When eight o'clock rolled by Simon and Clary met up with the rest of their friends for dinner at a local diner. The evening flew by, as time typically does when you're having a good time.
It seemed that Alec had been talking to Jace and Isabelle during the day. He'd been honest with them about his relationship with Magnus and, just as I had told him, they'd taken him exactly the way he was. I could really feel the shift in the general emotions of our group now that this burden had been lifted from Alec’s shoulders. He was more open and looked a lot happier and less stressed out. And to be fair, Magnus was an amazing asset to the group. He was fun, had a great sense of humor and could give Jace a run for his money when it came to sarcasm. It was wonderful.

When eleven o’clock rolled by it was time to pack up. Simon and Clary would head back to Clary’s place for the night since they had promised breakfast with her mother and Luke. Magnus would drive the others home.
Just before they left Clary took Jace apart.
“Remember what you promised me. If you need me, please call. I have your number set in my phone so that, even when it's on silent mode, you'll still be able to reach me. So please, do as you promised.” she said softly.
“I will.” Jace said to her in a whisper.
“And thank you. I don't know why you do this, why this is so important to you, but I do appreciate it a lot.”
“I'm doing nothing more than what you did for me when I was having a hard time. Now go, they are waiting for you.”
Jace gave Clary a quick kiss before he jumped in the care and they drove off.

Simon put his arm around Clary's shoulder and together they walked away.
“You did great.” Simon said to Clary.
“Thank you Simon. It's not easy, but I hope it works and that, at some point, he'll have the strength to talk about what is going on and to put a stop to it.”


The rest of the holiday went by much like it had started. They met up almost every day and often they all slept over at Jace’s place. The living room just remained a camping space with all the mattresses, pillows and blankets strewn around.
Clary and Jace often spend the evenings and night cuddled up close together, keeping each other’s nightmares at bay.
Simon and Isabelle grew closer together, regularly spending the days just with the two of them. And even Magnus and Alec came by a few times, enjoying their company.

The holiday was almost over and Clary had gone with Simon to drop him off at the airport.
He had to go back for the last part of the semester and then would probably spend the entire summer at Clary’s, which was great to look forward to.

Clary spent the rest of the day at home with her mother chatting and getting ready for school to start again in two days.
It was a fun afternoon. It had been a while since Jocelyn had been home for a longer while during the day. The evenings during the school year were mostly spent eating quickly and then doing homework or going over to Izzy’s for assignments.

It was already after nine and Clary had gone to her room to read a bit, when her phone suddenly rang.
It was Jace.
“Jace, are you alright?” Clary said immediately when she picked up.
“Not really.” Jace said in a whisper. By the sound of his voice it was obvious that he didn’t feel ok at all and it seemed like he had been crying.
“Do you want me to come over?”
“Could you, please?” he said
“Sure, I’ll leave here in a few minutes. See you soon.”

“Mom, can I go over to Izzy’s? She just called.”
“Sure, will you be staying the night?”
“Probably, yes, if that’s ok with you?”
“Yes honey, no problem. I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner, ok?”
“Yeah mom, thanks a lot!”
And with that Clary took her car and left.
She pulled up in the driveway of Jace’s house and got out of the car.
There was no light from the windows which worried her. It meant no one was home except for Jace, so that might be the reason for his breakdown.
He’d left the door unlocked so Clary got in quickly and flipped on the light.
“Jace?” she called out, but there came no reply.
“Jace? Where are you?” Clary said again, in the meantime looking through the living room and kitchen.
When she couldn’t find him there she went straight up to his room.
With a soft knock on the door Clary pushed it open and went into the room. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the darkness inside and she stopped for a moment.
“Jace?” she whispered.
“Are you here?”
He didn’t answer but a soft rustle behind her drew her attention.
She finally found Jace, backed away in a corner of his room between the wall and his desk.
He was shaking badly and his face was tear stained.

“Oh Jace!” Clary exclaimed and she rushed forward to hug him.
A few minutes later she managed to get him up and off to bed, where she tugged him under the blankets and snuggled up next to him. He hadn’t said a word, but she had promised not to ask.


VIII

It had been one hell of a night. Being home alone for the first time in a very long time, Jace had gone up to his room, wanting to read a bit and go to bed early.
The holiday had been fun, but also very busy, leaving his body not enough time to truly heal. His back was nearly back to normal, but his muscles were still sore and a few welts were only just now healing.
It had been around nine when his phone had buzzed, announcing a message.
~Saturday, 8pm ~ the message had read
Jace had stiffened, put the phone back down and tried to go back to reading. He must have fallen asleep before putting the book away, because when he woke up ,from his nightmare, screaming, the book had fallen out of his grasp with a loud *thunk*
The dream had been so realistic that he’d nearly lost it.
He’d called Clary when he’d calmed down enough to gather his wits about him and take his phone. He knew that it had taken her less than twenty minutes to get to him, but it had felt like hours. He’d heard her coming in, but he'd not been able to call out to her when she shouted his name. Fear and panic he kept him pinned to the floor, his voice useless.
Only when she’d sat down next to him,holding him close, had his body started to react again, albeit just by shaking uncontrollably.

Usually, having Clary sleep next to him kept the nightmares away, tonight it hadn’t helped and he’d woken up several times from vivid and terrifying dreams. And each time Clary had been there, working through his panicked haze, helping him calm down and find his bearings.

When he woke up in the morning he noticed the empty feeling of the bed next to him. For a minute there was blind panic, the fear that Clary might have had enough and had left sometime during the night. He wouldn’t blame her if she had, he knew the night had been hard on both of them, but he would miss her terribly.
But then the door of his room opened up and there she was, carrying a tray stashed with anything breakfast-worthy she’d found in the kitchen. She’d even made scrambled eggs.
“Hey.” she said, when she saw him sitting up in bed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Terrible, but it’ll be better soon.” he answered honestly
“Here’s some breakfast, thought you’d like that.”
“Yeah, it looks delicious. Thanks a lot! I’ll just go clean up a bit and then I’ll dive into it.” he said, and with that, he got out of bed and went off to the bathroom.
He locked the door behind him and sighed deeply. Every muscle in his body hurt. He must have been cramped up most of the night and he felt drained and weak.
Hoping a shower would help he turned on the water and stepped in. He grunted when the hot stream hit the half healed welts on his back, but it was the only thing that might do him some good at the moment.

When he got back to his room Jace and Clary ate breakfast together.
If Jace was honest with himself, he was impressed by Clary. She hadn’t asked him a single thing, just like she had promised. He knew that must be hard, but he was immensely grateful that she kept her promise. He just wasn’t ready to talk, not yet.
Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the next few days with Clary. No added drama and hopefully less nightmares.

It actually went by smoothly. Clary never strayed far from him and since Alec had come clean about him and Magnus he had changed, by far for the better. He was so much more relaxed and a lot happier.
Clary had stayed with them for another two days before she really had to go home, even if it was just to appease her mother who had gotten slightly cranky over the fact that Clary was hardly home anymore.
So with the promise of stopping by that evening Clary had said goodbye to her friends and gone home.




Isabelle, Jace, Alec and Magnus were all sitting in the living room when they heard the front door open.
It was still early, but Jace thought it might be Clary already. Turning around to face the door however he was faced with a very different sight.
Robert and Maryse, their parents, had come home rather unexpectedly.
They usually called a few days in advance to let their children know they were coming.
“Mom, dad!” Jace said surprised
“We didn't know you were coming home. How has your trip been?”
“It's been fine dear.” Maryse said.
“We were supposed to fly directly to our next assignment, but the previous one ended a little earlier than expected, size divided to drop by for a surprise visit.”
“It's great to have you home mom.” Isabelle said and she hugged her mother and father.
Alec too got up to say hello to his parents and Jace followed suit.
“Let's get you something to drink, shall I?” he said and went to the kitchen, took a tray and poured drinks for everyone.

He was just about to enter the living room again when he heard raised voices from his parents.
“What is the meaning of this?” Robert’s voice boomed through the room.
It was Alec so responded.
“What do you mean by this, father? The meaning of what, exactly?”
Jace softly pushed the door open and went inside. Alec and Magnus were standing in front of the couch, holding hands. Their parents stood on the other side of the coffee table, eyes wide, anger and disbelief etched on their faces.
Jace put the tray he was holding on the table and went to stand next to Alec.

He'd known something like this might happen. Robert and Maryse were very nice people, but they were also as conservative as could be. He'd hoped, for Alec’s sake, that they would put aside their ideas and just accept things as they were. By the looks of it however, they weren't able to do that.
““The meaning of this, of you updating hands with another guy! Of you, you being,....” Robert had worked himself in such a rage that words seemed to fail him. His face was beet red, a vein pulsing dangerously in his temple and beads of sweat on his brow.
“Of me being gay, dad?” Alec finished the sentence.
“That's what you want to say, isn't it?”
“Don't you say that word under our roof!” Maryse hissed.
“You're not gay, it's just an idea this guy put into your head. This isn't really you.”
She turned to Magnus and said: “I want you out of this house immediately. And never set foot here again!.”
“Magnus isn't going anywhere.” Alec said, and he tightened his grip on Magnus’s hand.
“If you plan to keep this charade going, you can leave too.” Robert snapped.
“I don't want you here if you persist in this vile way of life.”
“No!” Magnus said, with surprising strength in his voice and everyone’s attention suddenly snapped to him.
“You don't get to put your son out of this house just because he's a little different than what you had thought him to be. And bedside that, you are never, ever around, so what does it matter that he's here, being gay, while you are always off to somewhere else.”
“I don't want some sissy living in my home!” Robert shouted.
“You can hardly call this place home when you're never here to make it a home rather than a house, now can you?” Magnus replied, venom dripping from his voice.

Feeling he was looking his grip on the situation, Robert suddenly rounded on Jace and Isabelle.
“Did you know about this? Did you keep this from us?”
Isabelle took an involuntary step back, Jace just squared his shoulders and said.
“We only found out recently, Just a few days ago. But as you very well know, don't have a problem with this. He is no different to us than he was two weeks ago or a year ago. Him being gay doesn't change who he is. He will always be my brother, no matter what.”
“I think the same.” said Isabelle, who had recovered a bit.
“You guys are just ganging up on us!” Maryse said, her eyes wide.
“No mom, we’re not, but we just don't agree on this with you guys. For us nothing has changed except the fact that sis so much happier now. It's a relief for us, as we had noticed him withdrawing from us, being distant and irritable. Now that we know, now that there is honesty between us this have really changed for the better.” Isabelle said

There was a stunned silence. Robert and Maryse just stood there, looking at their children. Jace and Isabelle stood close to Alec, clearly showing their support for their older brother. Magnus held Alec’s hand tightly, and Alec squeezed back just has hard.
Just a few days ago Alec had confided in them his fear of this kind of a reaction from their parents. They had talked their way into the night, trying to think of a subtle way to let them know what was going on.
Their entire plan had gone down the drain tonight however. This was not what they had planned and Jace feared it might blow up in their face.
But whatever happened, he’d always choose Alec’s side over his parents.
His brother had always been there, from the very start when he as a frightened ten year old had come to their home. He’s shared his room with him for several year, been at his side when the nightmares became too bad, sat at his bedside when he’d gotten a bad bout of stomach flu one year and their parents hadn’t been home.
He would never betray their bond, and certainly not over something as trivial as this.
Robert and Maryse were wrong, it was as simple as that.
Suddenly the elder couple seemed to come out of their stupor and look at the four youngsters in front of them.

“We’re going, we’ll spend the night at a hotel and move on from there.” Maryse said.
“I don’t agree with the choices you’re making Alec, but we won’t kick you out of the house. We’ll talk about it when we get back in a few weeks.”
And with that, they took their bags and walked out the door.


Alec let himself fall back onto the couch, letting go of Magnus’s hand and putting his head on his knees. His shoulders were shaking with silent tears and when Magnus put his hand on Alec’s back, he shook it off.
“Let me.” Jace said softly to Magnus, taking his hand and moving him over to Isabelle.
“You need a drink.” she said, and took firm hold of Magnus’s arm and led him out to the kitchen.
“Alec?” Jace said, and he took up a spot next to his brother on the couch.
“Alec, please talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say Jace, nothing at all. We knew they would react like this, and nothing we say or do will change that. They left because of me, because of what I am, an abomination, an abnormality, whatever you want to say about it.”
“That’s not true. You are none of the things you just said and if I ever hear you say that again you’ll get the trashing of your life! Do you hear me? Never say those things again and never believe anyone who says that!” Jace said vehemently, shaking Alec by the arm.
Alec looked up at his brother with a tear streaked face and nodded meekly.

“Just give them time and they’ll come to see what Isabelle, Clary and I already see. That you are no different than you were before. They took a fright, they were challenged in their own home by their own children, so yes, they left. But they will come back, and they will change their mind. And even if they don’t, never forget that you’ll always have me and Isabelle. Whatever choices you make, you’ll never lose us! Do you believe me Alec?”
Alec nodded again, and Jace pulled him into a bone breaking embrace.

Behind them the front door opened again and Clary walked in.
“Jace? Alec? What happened?” she said worriedly.
“Our parents came home unexpectedly and saw Alec and Magnus together. It turned into a fight and they left again. You just missed them.” Jace said.
“Oh Alec, I’m so sorry.” Clary said, and hugged him tightly.
“Where are Isabelle and Magnus?”
“In the kitchen, getting a drink I suppose.” Alec said softly.
“But I have to go talk to Magnus. I shook him off earlier and I shouldn’t have.”
“I’m sure he’ll understand, but go ahead, just send Izzy over if you don’t want her there.”
Alec said his thanks to Jace and Clary and went looking for Magnus.
“Are you ok?” Clary asked Jace.
He looked tired and his face was a little drawn.
“I’m alright. It wasn’t a fun conversation and it was very intense, but I’m more worried about Alec at the moment. He took it very personally, obviously, but if we’re not careful he might start to believe what our parents say, and that’s just rubbish.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“Don’t worry about that, and maybe it was for the best. They already felt ganged up on with just us, it might have made things worse for Alec had there been yet another outsider, to them at least, who took a stance against them.”
“You’re probably right.” Clary sighed and leaned back in the chair.
Jace leaned back too, his head resting on Clary’s shoulder. He was happy she was back with him. He could use her support tonight, just by being there and not asking too many questions.

Isabelle came in and plopped down on the floor in front of the couch.
“That was intense.” She said, to no one in particular.
“But I’m proud of how Alec handled things. That’s not an easy thing to do. And Magnus really surprised me, you know, just standing up to mom and dad.”
“Yeah, that did take quite a bit of courage.” Jace said.
“He’s a good guy and he makes Alec so happy. It’s good to see them together.”
“No doubt, I’m just glad Alec told us, you know. He was beginning to be unbearably irritable around us.”
“He was scared.” Clary said.
“He was so afraid you guys would turn him away if you knew.”
“What do you mean?” Isabelle asked.
“He talked to me, at the movie night, when Simon was here the first time.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“I don’t think he meant to really talk about it. It’s just how the conversation went.
“He wanted to apologise for exploding at me a few weeks ago. And he tried to explain what had happened. He told me then about him and Magnus and how afraid he was and didn’t know how to handle the situation.”
“What did you tell him?” Jace asked.
“I told him he didn’t have to be afraid of your reaction, that you two wouldn’t mind. I also said that he didn’t have to tell you, but rather just show you how he felt about Magnus. And that is exactly what he did, isn’t it?”
“You’re amazing Clary!” Isabelle said.
“Oh Izzy, I just told him the truth. He was so scared that he couldn’t see that himself. He only needed a little push to find his courage. And you two reacted perfect so he felt safe and loved.
I’m just sorry that tonight didn’t work out though.”
“They’ll come round.” Jace said.
“Just give it a little time. They were shocked and I’m sure they didn’t see it coming. Let’s just hope that by the time they get back here next time things have settled down again and we’ll all be able to talk about it like normal people instead of shouting at each other.”

Things settled down after that.
They all watched a movie together, Alec and Magnus snuggled together on the couch, Izzy splayed in the recliner and Clary lying with her head in Jace’s lap, bit sitting on the floor.
And despite the earlier tension of the evening they all went to bed feeling rather well.

Early next morning Jace woke up to some racket coming from the kitchen.
Rubbing sleep from his eyes he got up and went to take a look.
Looking down the hall he saw that both Alec’s and Izzy’s bedroom doors were still closed. They were obvious still sleeping, so who on earth was making all the noise downstairs?
It wasn't Clary, she would keep things down a bit since everyone else was still asleep. And then it dawned on him that he was hearing voices, multiple voices that were whispering.
Jace quietly went downstairs, trying to catch something that was being said.
“We shouldn't have walked out yesterday like we did, Robert.” he suddenly heard, and his heart skipped.
“Mom? Dad?” Jace said when he opened the kitchen door.
“Jace? Oh honey, we didn't mean to wake you.” Maryse said, turning around holding a glass of fresh orange juice.
“That's ok mom, it wasn't really you. I didn't expect you here, to be fair.” Jace said, accepting the glass his mother offered to him.
“I know, and I'm sorry for yesterday. I felt awful for leaving so suddenly. It wasn't right.”
“No, it wasn't, but I don't think you have to tell me that though. I think it's mostly Alec who deserves this.”
He heard Robert snort behind him and turned around to face him.
“You don't agree?” Jace asked him.
“Not necessarily no. I don't think that what Alexander is doing is right. And I don't think we have to apologize to him.”
“I'm sorry to hear that. On the other hand I'm glad to see that at least one of you got yourself together. Alec is a really good guy, he would do anything he could to keep everyone around him happy, even if that means he feel miserable. And trust me, he has been miserable for a very long time. He has known he is gay for a very long time, but he has always been too scared to bring it up. You should have seen the transformation he went through once he told me and Isabelle. He loves you so much dad, he would probably break up with Magnus if you insisted. But I will tell you this, I won't let that happen. If I have to choose between you and Alec’s happiness, I will choose Alec every time.”

“You will choose me over what, Jace?”
Jace jumped, nearly spilling his orange juice.
“Alec! I didn't hear you coming in!” Jace said.
Alec smiled at him.
“Guilty conscious Jace?”
“Never, you know me.” Jace joked, trying to diffuse the situation between himself and Robert.
“Mom, dad, what made you come back? I didn't expect you two here after everything that has been said.”
Jace had to admit he was impressed by how outwardly relaxed Alec appeared.
If it had been him he probably would have lost it all together just at the sight of his parents. And here was Alec, standing there, still in his pyjamas, talking very civilized to them.
There was one thing though, that betrayed his brother’s internal struggle, and that was the slight flexing of his right hand. He did that whenever he was nervous or agitated.
“Maybe we should go sit down and talk, Alexander.” their mother said, after a moment of silence.
Alec nodded and motioned for their parents to go ahead.
“Do you want me to be there with you?” Jace asked quietly.
“No, that's ok. I think I have to do this by myself. I overheard most of the conversation between the three of you anyway, so I know what to expect. And Jace, thank you for standing up for me.”
“Always, you know that.” Jace said, and patted his brother on his shoulder.
“Always.” the other repeated and left the kitchen.

Jace grabbed his glass of juice and one of the bowls of cereal his parents had set out and went back upstairs.
There was no use in staying in the kitchen when there was nothing for him to do, so he decided to eat breakfast in his room.
He understood that Alec wanted to be alone with their parents. It was just between the three of them. But it made him feel uneasy, when he couldn’t be there for his brother.
Alec would probably laugh at him and say he had a hero-complex, always wanting to save the day. And maybe he was right. Jace generally felt horrible when something happened that he couldn’t prevent, or when he couldn’t help someone who was in trouble or feeling bad.
After the attack on Clary, Isabelle’d had to get all of her tricks out to stop him going over and over the events in his mind trying to find a loop where he might have gone wrong. Maybe there had been a different road he should have taken, or called her instead of running blindly after her, or… or… For days he’d beaten himself up over it, feeling immensely guilty.
Until at some point, Isabelle had told him that, instead of putting his efforts in feeling bad, he should use that energy to be there for Clary, to comfort her and support her.
Of course she had been right, like so often.
He’d felt better, because he had a purpose, and it had brought him and Clary closer.
“Jace?”
A voice at the door pulled him from his thoughts.
It was Clary, standing there in her pyjamas and a too large sweater on top.
“Hey Clary, come on in.” He said, and scooted over to make space on his bed.
She sat next to him and accepted the glass of juice he offered.
“Thanks. Was it me or were there voices downstairs earlier?”
“It wasn’t you. My parents came back this morning and were making breakfast when I woke up.”
“Oh wow, I did not see that coming.”
“You’re not alone, I was just as surprised as you to be honest. I talked to them, then Alec came down and they went off to talk together. For now I haven’t heard any China breaking, so I assume things are going alright.”
“Let’s hope so. I don’t think a rift between Alec and your parents would be good.”
“No it wouldn’t be, but then Robert will have to come round quite a bit I'm afraid. And I'm not sure he's ready to do that. I hope mom and Alec can talk some sense into him.
But enough about Alec. How are you doing? Have you been sleeping alright?”
Jace looked at Clary when he changed the subject. He knew she didn't like to talk about it, but until recently she'd been having nightmares quite often.
Clary looked away for a moment, biting her bottom lip.
“It's been ok. Not perfect, but getting better. Some nights are better than others, and eventful days don't help. But it's nothing I can't handle.”
She looked up at him and smiled.
“I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help though. It really meant alot to me.”
“Don't mention it. I'm glad I could help and that you're feeling better now.”
“I am,really. But how are you? You didn't have the easiest night…” she trailed off a little, unsure if she should keep going.
“I'm doing better.” Jace said. That wasn't really true, but he didn't want to worry Clary nor did he want to think about his dreams.
It only made him dread the next night that much more.
Clary hesitated a little, but smiled after all.
“Good. Look, I have to go. Mom won't be pleased if I'm not home, again, on her day off. Will you be ok?”
“Of course, I'll be fine.” Jace replied, but with a sinking feeling in his gut.
“You go home, and say hi to your mom from me!”
“I will. And thank you for breakfast.” Clary laughed. And with that, she left to get ready.
Jace leaned back and watched her go. He knew he probably wouldn't see her until Monday morning at school, and he missed her already.


Clary left for home a little while later, a slight frown on her forehead.
Jace had seemed fairly happy and unconcerned for a change. But something seemed a little off anyway. There was a haunted look in eyes, and they had been sad beyond measure when she'd told him she had to go home.
But he had assured her he was ok and doing better, so she decided to believe him and put the matter aside.
Now she had to focus on getting everything ready for the surprise dinner for her mom and Luke. They would be out until that afternoon, so that gave her plenty of time to get it all done.

Passing by the supermarket and the small grocery store on her way home Clary found that for the first time in quite a while she enjoyed being out on her own. She wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder or checking the small alleys she passed.
It was a nice feeling to be sure, liberating.

When she got home Clary immediately dived into the kitchen, starting to make the chicken curry her mother loved so much.
Clary was determined to make it into a wonderful dinner with the three of them together. It had been a long time since all of them had had some exclusive family time.

Back home, it was usually Simon who would end up spending all of his time at her place. Here it was the exact opposite and Clary had noticed that is was a little hard on her mother. She wasn't used to not having her daughter around all the time. So this family meal was precious.

As on cue Jocelyn and Luke walked through the door.
“Something smells good here!” Jocelyn said, as she stuck her head around the door.
“Thanks mom! Dinner is almost ready. I'm just setting the table.”
“Do you need help?” Luke asked.
“No that's ok, it's almost done. You only need to help eat it.” Clary said, and laughed.

It was a wonderful evening, they talked and talked about everything and nothing.

“Clary, dinner was amazing.” Jocelyn said.
“So how are Jace and Isabelle doing?”
“They are doing fine. Their parents came home unexpectedly yesterday so I guess they're having a good time.”
“Oh, that’s good to hear. They are gone so often and I wonder how those kids are faring.”
“They’re used to it, really. When they were younger the neighbours and friends would come by quite often to see if they needed anything. Now they just fend for themselves, have friends over, you know. And Alec’s boyfriend Magnus is a few years older so if they need an adult he’s always just around the corner.”
“It seems they’ve got it all figured out.” Jocelyn said with a smile.
“Seems like they do.” Luke added.
“They’re all very well behaved by the looks of it. Even being home alone so often they never get into trouble.”
“I’m sure Alec keeps them in line.” Clary laughed.
“He’s very sweet but I think he used to be very strict with Isabelle and Jace. He’s a very responsible person really.”
“So I have gathered. I’m happy for you, Clary, that you managed to make such good friends. It means a lot to all of us, to see you this happy.” Jocelyn said, looking fondly at her daughter.
“I know you dreaded moving here, and leaving Simon, but I hope you are happy now, making new friends.”
“Yes, I am, mom. I was scared to leave everything behind, but it has been good for me I think. Meeting Izzy and Jace has been a wonderful experience. I’m happy we moved here, and knowing Simon will be here during summer only makes things better. It’s going to be awesome!”
“I’m sure it will be. Now let’s clear the table and finish up for the night. Will you be staying home?” Jocelyn
“I think so, yes. I didn’t make any plans for tonight. It’s Friday, but since Robert and Maryse are home, I suppose that I won’t be hearing from them anytime soon.”
“And by soon you mean before tomorrow afternoon?” Luke laughed.
“Something like that, yes.” Clary shot back playfully.
They all bantered along while cleaning the dishes and by ten that evening Clary collapsed onto bed.
Just before she fell asleep she send a text to Jace
~ Sweet dreams. I hope you have a good night xoxo ~