No more paper, no more phone

F*ucking cell phone
Cost two arms
Half leg
IBS irate

Bought Pelican hard shell
Crack proof film
Dropped it once
F*ucking screen shattered
Self irate

That goddamned screen
Millions of shards
Film holding together
Shredded dollars

F*ucking dollars
Worthless sons of b*itches
What jackass thought
Paper
Paper is credit for gold
Lets trade paper
Paper for phones

Paper for phones
Cost two arms
Half leg

Spend paper
Get phone
More paper
Get case
More paper
Get film
More paper
Use phone
Drop phone whilst shopping
Spending paper
MOTHER F*****

I refuse paper
Another phone
Yeah NO

Press these shards into mine ears
Hold'em
Blood is pouring

Goto bathroom
Check sparse wallet
Fancy paper for tissues
Now bloody paper
Check
Fancy paper for toilet
Now s*hitty paper
Check
Don't flush fancy paper
Place back inside rank wallet
Check
...
Back to store

You dropped phone
Guy says

NO S*HIT
I reply

Want upgrade
Costs paper
...

F*ucking take this s*hit
I say
Reach for rank dank wallet
Toss bloody s*hitty papers at guy

Eat this paper!
Literally
Eat my s*hit!
Your precious papers
...

F*ucking shards of shredded dollars
Do not want another s*hitty phone
Never again
...
Whats that you say
Free Pelican case
...
Free I-pad
...
Comes with film too
...
Guy says
All free
After paper
...

I demand
Take soiled papers!

Guy says
No

TAKE S*HITTY SHREDDED SOILED PAPERS!

Guy persists
No
Store wants plastic
...
Plastic for phones
Plastic is credit for paper
Plastic paper phones
...
OKAY

Trade plastic for new f*ucking phone
Drop trow IBS
S*hit on store floor chuckling
Maniacal laugh
Sinister terrifying victory
Scar guy
Scar store
Forever
Relish
...

Keep fancy soiled paper
Check
Will use later
Check
Flip the bird
Check
Walk out triumphant
New toys in hand

Drop toys in parking lot
Screens shatter