Boulder

Boulder

Have you ever wanted to end it?

To stop the whirling carnival disaster that is existence and venture forth into sublime nothingness.

I'm not talking about just ending your life here.

I mean to truly be nothing.

To have never existed in the first damn place and in so doing avoid the pointless torment that is consciousness.

I do.

I hope for it daily.

I long for there to be... nothing.

This never ceasing trudge has taken its toll on me and unlike Sisyphus, I am not content to simply go back down the hill and start pushing again.

Let the damn boulder lay where it will.

I have no fucks left to give.

I cannot focus on the narrow trappings of the day.

Content.

Starbucks in hand.

Clad in money and polyester blends.

Rayon is not my friend.

Rather,

I look on from the galaxy's edge.

Lost somewhere in the heavens

Not sure why any of this matters.

If it could all just stop.

Only for a moment, so that I might find my bearings.

Maybe the compass needle would point somewhere.

But, it doesn't.

It.

Never.

Stops.

And, I have a boulder to catch.