In Through the Window

You step back away from the window for a moment and reach up to wipe the tears that have been sliding down your cheeks. You return to the window because you need to see more. Once you are at the casement, you slowly glance within.

You watch as his head turns towards the hallway where moments later a teenage girl with long strawberry blonde hair enters the kitchen. She is carrying one those old portable cassette radios, the kind that you can record music as the radio plays to make mix tapes. She asks the man something and with a smile he tells her an answer that makes her smile.

As you stand outside watching this tableau of a happy moment, you see the girl plug in the player and insert a cassette tape. She concentrates on the machine, her green eyes hidden behind a big pair of plastic framed glasses. She is wearing old worn jeans, a tank top with a plaid shirt left unbuttoned over it. She has rolled the sleeves up to her elbows, much like her father has done with his own shirt.

The man asks the girl something and she turns towards the stove to get the pot of coffee and comes over and refills his cups. He smiles and tells her thank you as she walks back to the stove. The music has started playing and through the window you hear the notes of an old Everly Brothers tune, Wake Up Little Suzy drifting to you. Without noticing your foot starts to tap and you move slightly with the melody.

Soon you hear a deep rich baritone voice join the voices on the cassette. A smile is on the face of the man and you watch as the weariness falls away from him as the music lifts his spirits and his voice rises to override the performers. The girl watches as she starts to sing also her gentle alto voice a smooth counter balance to her father’s.

The girl begins gathering the ingredients to make what appears to be cookies, as the next song Bye, Bye Love comes on. She walks over to the door that leads to the master bedroom and pulls a scrunchie out of her pocket. Her body swaying to the music as the two continue to sing. She pulls her hair up into a ponytail, and it is so long it still reaches the middle of her back as it swings back and forth with her movements. She returns to the table and starts preparing the cookies.

The two continue to sing and you can feel the contentment and camaraderie between the two. You notice that the girl has her father’s features. They both share the same lifted eyebrow and sideways grin. They are connected in spirit when singing. This is their time.
As the girl drops spoonsful of batter on the cookie sheets, the man stands and finds a spoon of his own and steals a bite of the raw dough, while her back is turned to put the cookies in the oven. The song is now Bird Dog and the girl laughs out loud when her Dad deepens his voice whenever the song’s title is used.

She refills the coffee cup automatically and then takes the empty pot to the sink to rinse out and to dump the used grounds into the trash. After returning the pot to the stove, she goes to get herself a glass out of the cupboard and then to the refrigerator to fill it with iced tea. She takes a long drink and then she returns to where the cassette has shut off. This side played through.

Flipping the cassette over the first song to queue up is All I Have to Do Is Dream. You watch as the girl pulls the first pan of cookies from the oven, the smell of cookies seeping through the cracks around the window, making your mouth water. She pulls the second pan out and places them on the towels she has placed on the kitchen table so that they can cool a few before being transferred to cooling racks.

The man goes to take one off the pan and she swats at his hand. She then takes a spatula and starts placing the cookies on the rack so she can refill the sheets with the next round. Once she has completed this task, she starts the process all over with the next round. When she turns to put the cookies in the oven the man grabs a cookie.

You stand outside the window with the smell of hot fresh baked chocolate chip cookies wafting up into your nostrils as you watch the man take a bite of the golden piece of heaven. It bends slightly from still being warm and he takes a bite, when he draws his hand away the chocolate drips down upon his lightly whiskered chin. Your own mouth is open ready for your own bite, and you swallowing as he does, wishing for the taste to go with the smell.

The man must tell the girl that the cookie is good because you watch as her face lights up with pride from the compliment. She walks around the table and hugs him from behind. Giving him a light kiss on the cheek. The song Bowling Green begins to play and this time the girl does not join her father singing but instead stands behind him gently giving him a shoulder massage. Her head tilted to the side as she listens to him sing the beautiful song.

Just as the song ends and the next begins to play the two look towards the hallway, like deer alerted to an intrusion in the meadow. A woman soon enters who you immediately know is the wife and mother as the girl also resembles her. There is no joy on the woman’s face, it is pinched and tight. You get the feeling she takes pleasure in interrupting the father/daughter moment.

The two who just moments before had been happy and joyful have closed in on themselves. You watch as the weariness returns to the man’s face and his shoulder’s once again droop. The light passes out of the girl’s face, her eyes going dull as she walks over and turns off the music. It isn’t allowed to be played when Mom is home.

She goes to the oven to pull the next batch of cookies out and once they are transferred to the waiting cooling racks she puts the last pans of batter into the oven. Her joy in preparing them gone also. She sits down at the table as her mother takes her place beside her father. You can see her watch the hands of the old clock on the wall tick by until she can remove the last batch from the oven. As they cool, she plates the others on the big serving tray and places it in the center of the old worn out table.

The moment she places the last of the cookies on the plate she asks to be excused and she unplugs her cassette player and with her head down, treads heavily from the room. The man watches his daughter leave wishing he could as easily escape before turning his attention to the woman beside him. He lights another cigarette and blows the smoke directly into her face because he knows she hates it when he does. It’s the little joys after all.

You step away from the window with tears in your eyes at the bittersweet memory, because you were that girl and those were what would become some of your most cherished moments with a father taken much too young, because in a few short years he would be gone. Not a day goes by that you don’t wish that on just one of those days you would have hit the other side of that player and recorded the sound of your Dad singing with joy in his heart and a smile on his face.