Lonesome Nights

Dish couldn't believe he was doing this again. Couldn't believe he'd stooped so low once more.

But Lorie didn't want him. Mexico was close enough but too far to ride just to wet his carrot. So what else was he supposed to do?

He sighed as he rapped on the door with one hand, holding his hat in the other.

He could hear footsteps inside so he knew Jasper was awake still. He had always been a night owl.

The front door of the little adobe home opened up a crack, a latch keeping it shut the rest of the way. Paranoia ran in the Fant family and Jasper had it bad.

"Who is it?" He asked from the other side of the door.

"It's me. Dish."

A pair of soft blue eyes peeked out from the crack in the doorway.

"What do ya want?" He asked Dish.

Dish gnawed at his lip and frustration and he glared back into those Fox's eyes.

"You know what I want." He said simply.

Jasper chewed his own lip before closing the door back and unlatching the lock. He pulled it open again to let Dish in without a word.

Dish stepped through the doorway, his already blushing face getting hotter with shame and embarrassment.

Jasper slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

"That girl turn ya down did she?" He asked.

"Shut up..." Dish growled, digging a couple of dollars out of his pocket and placing them on the nightstand by Jasper's bed.

Jasper looked down to the wrinkled bills with a distasteful glint in his blue eyes.

"What?" Dish asked. "You're still a whore ain't ya?"

"It ain't that..." Jasper muttered, pushing the money back to Dish.

Dish grabbed it up again and put it all back in his pocket.

"Coulda used that to buy a real pretty pair of boots." He told Jasper. "Guess you just keep gettin' dumber, huh?"

"Not as dumb as you just yet." Jasper responded with a glare, hurt by the comment.

Dish angrily stepped forward and ripped Jasper's shirt down the rest of the way.

Jasper met his lips when they slammed onto his forcefully before they both fell into the bed, ripping and tearing at each other's clothes.

The sex was damn good. Dish wanted to deny it but he couldn't, and he refused to let Jasper know that he enjoyed any part of it so when he finally came he moaned out Lorena's name into the other man's ear.

Jasper wanted to cry.

It killed him to know that the only man he'd ever loved in this world had absolutely no desire to be with him.

He always grew hopeful when Dish came to him, but those hopes were shattered when he rode off the next morning.

There would never be a good morning kiss nor the feeling of strong arms holding him all throughout the night.

"You fixin' to sign on with Captain Call?" Jasper breathed after Dish had rolled over in bed to face away from him. He always staid the night after. Not because he had any feeling for Jasper. It was because he couldn't say no to a bed for the night.

"Reckon I done it already." Dish muttered in reply.

Jasper bit at his lip in silence for a long while.

"Reckon I might too." He finally said.

"Good. Need more hands." Came Dish's muffled reply.

Jasper rolled over to get closer to the man he loved.

"Dish..." he tried.

"Go to sleep, Jasper." Dish grumbled, nudging him off.

Jasper rolled back over again and pulled the covers close to his face, a tear dripping down his cheek.

Who was he kidding? Dish didn't love him.

He never would.