The Parasite

Not so long ago, in a time of desperation,
my feelings would flow perfectly to the paper.
My thoughts... muted at in an attempt to speak,
flourished effortlessly with a pen in my hand..

Something tragic has happened...
No longer can I express with ease,
All of the things I keep hidden.
Instead it has started eating me,
Like a parasitic leech... Attached to my heart.

Sadly, I have failed to kill this unwanted guest,
As I do not know when she invited herself in..
My heart is being consumed by a pest,
and I don't know that I will ever win.
She sucks happily day and night,
bringing even my dreams into a state of fright.
She is discrete in the destruction that she brings,
gorging herself on all my talent.

While I lay here with tears in my eyes,
because I have been left empty,
Under the dark skies,
ending it all seems overly tempting...

I fight this fight for more than just me,
Two little girls find a hero in me.
So I paint on the smile over the pain of my heart,
And try my hardest not to let it tear me apart.
I hope one day the fake will become reality,
I will no longer have to paint...
And I can just be me.