Narrative of a Lonesome Soul

Narrative of a Lonesome Soul

Introduction:
I was born in the same mankind as you. I cannot deny that the world is mine as much as yours, nor can I imagine a different world than the one we have. Treading through the sad fields of my own mind, I see the truth manifest, materialize, and spread... but never do I see it understood. The lonesome soul does not know what he is here for, but has an intuitive realness in him, a sense of compulsion and drive that's not just painful, but heavy and brutish. The lonesome soul suffers, witnesses the repetitions, hopes for the best, and goes to sleep at night as unfulfilled as when he wakes up - for nothing has changed. And that lonesome soul sees the emotional misconceptions that make up the human being, sees the disconnects between souls, sees the empty involutions of self, sees the ruptures in the hearts of people, and feels it all, never pausing or faltering. He sees war, defined by violence and vanity, yet intrinsic to the history and spirit of the human condition; he sees greed, defined by the physical and the temporary, yet necessary and meaningful to the human experience; he sees simplicity, defined by self-indulgence and denial, yet a sign of goodness and innocence; and he cries a sad song, for he knows he doesn't understand. Every lonesome soul, as I, will find a way to coexist with the world that is foreign. He will forge an existence for himself, justify himself to himself, find flaws within the conscious and subconscious machinations that he goes through, and find cause in his own suffering. That is what makes the lonesome soul real: not just to me, but to all of us. For when we suffer, we bring into the abstract space our own feelings, believing that all will understand us - and when we first learn that they will not, as we all inevitably do, the concealment of the Real in us becomes necessary. And what I describe is not an empty and arbitrary thing, but the real essence of being Human - the condition of suffering is the condition of being Real, that's what I say. And the true virtue of being Human lies in that thing we so humbly call Heart, for we all have one. When we hug and embrace a lonesome soul, we are accessing that Heart - and when we reject and deny the existence of such a soul, we are closing off that same Heart. The Hearts of visionaries are always open, and thus they carve the way forward; those whose Hearts are closed will prevent the world from growing. I work on my Heart at all times, hoping to access that experiential good that we know to be Enlightenment: then my Heart would immediately open. But the idea of having an open Heart might fail when you realize the world's challenges - its efforts at ripping apart the links between souls are duly noted. But the world, in its pure form, does not wish to hurt us. It is the mankind of vain and malicious intent that cares to break these links, to weaken us, to nullify our true coexistence. We were born to love. We were born to realize the virtues of a higher good. The lonesome soul eventually tries to conceive of a higher purpose, and finds hope in God, though knows nothing of Him. If the lonesome soul rejects God, then he only has himself. But the lonesome soul should not fear this perilous oneness that comes with being human - in fact, it is the key to the truth. The Self in us, when truly understood, is nothing more than Us in a more inward way. We must not fear ourselves. Lonesome souls must understand at all times that they are never truly Alone - for they have themselves. I enter this world with an infinite number of feelings and virtues, and I will try to use all of them towards humanity's benefit. Souls fight, souls realize themselves, and souls will always try to do what seems right. Thus, you dear soul, please realize yourself however you can, and know that your oneness is no less meaningful than mine - once you know this, you know all. If you are a lonesome soul, then all that differentiates you from me is the set of conditions you've been given to become such a soul. And what matters most in the future is how you shall continue to use those conditions. Freedom and power are yours, and the ability to become virtuous and true are at your disposal. Go forth into the light!
And try to remember what your Heart tells you.
Chapter 1: The Lonesome Soul Lives in Absurdity
What does a lonesome soul define himself by, if not absurdity? Mankind is flustered with a million conceptions of the Real, none of which are compelling or honest in their proposals. In some relative sense, every human is his own Real, and in that way, lonesomeness becomes a universal condition. Seeing the world requires us to understand one another, but since we are tapped into such different frequencies of understanding and realization, the only way to make this achievable lies in dissolving our subjectivity. It would seem that every attempt at objective knowledge, happiness, freedom, and wisdom is overpowered by the human insufficiency of our enclosed Hearts, an intuitive undercurrent of weakness that does not appear readily destructible. The lonesome soul is only Free when his Freedom becomes the center of his existence - when it becomes the Real. This is the strength of the lonesome soul, for he does not depend on anyone. The lonesome soul creates himself, and does not care that he is defined by conditions outside of his control - for the lonesome soul has been given a body, a mind, a family, a set of skills and inclinations, and most importantly of all, a spiritual Realness within him. The lonesome soul is Free already. The problem is that the lonesome soul lives in an absurd construction most of the time, corrupting himself by way of his own Ego, destroying himself because he feels he must. The lonesome soul is sensitive and frail, for he feels foreign to the world. But what truly prevents the lonesome soul from awakening his true, Real self? After all, in some very definite way, the experiences of every soul, both lonesome and not, are limited to the souls themselves, and not meaningfully tied to the outside world - to be a soul is to inwardly experience reality. Thus, we are by definition Free agents, judging by our ability to control the reality presented to us. What shall be said of the events that occur regardless of our actions? Simply put, we shall say that the world is absurd, yet organized, and is therefore a test of our own willful self-certainty. It flows from this that the lonesome soul, who feels isolated from the world around because of his individuated condition, is more capable of understanding the Real than anyone else: his constant involvement in his lonesome condition informs him that he is in an absurd world, a world of disillusionment and falsehood, all stubbornly crafted by his Ego. But I say that in some way, every person participates in the condition of being a lonesome soul, yes? That is the very reason why we are all equally capable of being Free. It is Necessary to experience the condition of Freedom through lonesomeness. Our individuated isolation should grant us the power to understand the absurd Truth of existence. It is the condition of lonesomeness, granted to us in times of personal reflection and self-introspection, which allows us to understand a world beyond the world - the world of our creation. When I become aware of the fact that my existence is arbitrary, and thus subject only to my inputs, I find myself acting more freely, more certainly, more brazenly. Who cares if the absurd outside world strikes at my Heart, and tries to seize my Freedom by the throat? Who cares if parasites, people with no sense of Heart, dare contest my world's authenticity with their artificial eyes and bittersweet words? I was made Free, and that is all I must truly know. The world is absurd because my Ego makes it absurd - because I am Self-Aware. Lonesome souls suffer from a deficiency of spirit, spirit that would otherwise motivate them, that would otherwise make them truly Free. You must understand that it is not bad to live in an absurd world governed by an Ego - it is much better to suffer at the hands of your selfhood than to never understand what you actually are. The lonesome soul, who lives in absurdity, does so because he has been placed in the Necessary conditions for self-understanding. On the surface, it would seem that the lonesome soul is the one suffering, while all the regular souls are blissful and fulfilled. However, the opposite is true, and the lonesome soul only appears to suffer, while the regular souls are rejecting the truth which resides in all Selves: this 'suffering' is the key to true understanding. The absurd is just a projection of our suffering, which is why it seems so painful and unbearable, but one needs to look only slightly closer to find that the absurd is an invention, a necessary evil, and constitutes nothing more than the surface image of our existence: this essentially means that lonesome souls suffer Necessarily to understand the Truth. I do not speak of lonesome souls as some rejected underclass born to suffer, but instead refer to them as the true Souls of the world. If suffering wasn't the fundamental force that formed existence, then we would learn nothing in the decadent day-to-day of living. Lonesome souls are all around us, suffering only because their path is forged to test their deepest personal attachments - and every day spent overcoming ourselves is a day spent well. We are all lonesome souls. The difference between us is aesthetic and personal, based in appearances and experiences. The property that drives us is the same. To live is to suffer, and to live in the Truth is to live in partial absurdity at all times. This is an intuitively constructed claim: once the Truth becomes central to our existence, much of what we perceive to be Real begins to dissolve in itself. The very idea of 'individual', which is strictly defined by differences in people, finds itself hollowed out by the collective power of the Real in practice. Everything we consider to be intimate and central to ourselves is nothing more than self-projection into the cosmic sphere of true reality. This is why the truly lonesome soul exists in constant absurdity. It's inevitable that a change in self-perception brings about a complete reformation. Once we've realized the absurdity of Being, however, our quest becomes much more challenging. The lonesome soul's understanding of absurdity only brings him the initial form of the Truth. Once we deconstruct the physical real, we must find an alternative. We must build ourselves as vessels of power. We are still participating in the absurd world, and the absurd world is difficult. The absurd world will infiltrate our Hearts, challenging them with the nonsensical delusions of Ego. The efforts of Ego will break us down many times in life, swarm us with guilt and uncertainty, and ultimately make our lives miserable. But, just like the absurd world, the misery of our lives is perceptual and superficial, strictly based upon our inputs and attitudes, determined by our actions. The hell we live in is nothing more than the hell we create. Even if we live in an unpleasant world - a world we're not responsible for - we have an obligation, as any lonesome soul might feel, to make the world a better, less absurd place for everyone else. Thus, absurdity, being a temporary condition, must be conquered and overcome. The obsession we have with ourselves is not only absurd, but counterproductive and empty: to place ourselves on some silly pedestal is to glorify mortality and weakness. We mustn't glorify ourselves, nor should we ever think that the world we live in is ultimately of any importance. All of this, in the greater scheme of things, is absurdity. The lonesome soul goes on.
Chapter 2: The Lonesome Soul Must Learn Love
Love is an abstract. It is a dying word. It's very rare that love is sincere anymore. It's especially difficult for the lonesome soul to understand love, since he tries his hardest to provide it, and finds himself rejected. Love requires a cosmic effort of bravery and sacrifice to be true, which is quite strongly the reason why love is such a weak concept in the modern day. And truly, what can be most easily intimated about love? Perhaps that it is blind, or that it is painful, or that it is the ultimate pursuit of humankind; yet, does one ever consider love as something intrinsic to the human spirit, embedded in the fabric of being alive? Nay, love is not held as something that is naturally part of being a person, yet it is that very love in us, communicated in intimacy and passion, exchanged in a fine conversation or over mixed drinks - it is that love in us that brings us closer together. It is the love of experiences, the love of sorrows, and the love of truth, especially, which links us as souls without coincidence. It is the humble feeling of agreement that we reach with someone who thinks like us, who validates our experiences and ideas; it is the empowering feeling of closeness that we feel with complete strangers at times, irrationally but irrefutably so, when we may lock eyes and exchange glances, never having said a word, yet having understood everything; it is the Necessary feeling of being Real, of being Alive, which constantly reawakens the spirit of living. And surely, as a lonesome soul who understands the conscious process of suffering, I know very well that love, true love, that is, can deliver me from the madness of my own Ego-creation. I know that if I refuse the weakness of my doubting self-hatred and uncertainty, all of which is preventable, I know that then I can live my life openly and freely. I set forth the quest in my own Heart to understand the lessons of love. And you may ask then: what obligation do you have to do the same? Why must you, in hearing these words echo in your mind, accept what I'm saying to have any substance at all? You mustn't. The beauty of life is that every soul has their own path. To carve a fate without the chidings of another, without the towering authority: this is true beauty. No soul, lonesome or otherwise, can truly meddle with the soul of another. This is why love might ring differently to you, and it may be why love might be foreign to you altogether. And all love starts from Self. If a person doesn't love themselves, no substantial love can radiate from that person. Thus, the lonesome soul feels the strongest impetus to understand what it means to be a Self in a sea of Others - for it is that understanding, and the wisdom gained from being lonesome, that allows us to truly find peace in our Hearts. In this way, the lonesome soul pains himself greatly, for he must painstakingly recreate himself every time he learns something new; however, because his Heart constantly expands from the effort, the lonesome soul understands that his goal is noble. And remember, too, that your Free condition as an individual grants you this right. You have the power to create, to give reality to things. You possess Substance in your words and actions. If you did not have this Freedom, your existence would be meaningless, empty, and ultimately worthless, but because you are able to forge meaning from within and without, you start to feel the energy of a cosmic, organic whole, capable of contributing something undoubtedly yours to a foreign world. And this condition, the beloved Truth that you can give to the world, is the most beautiful thing of all. When you awaken your True self, you begin to realize that all things that have been, and are, and will be, are all equally worthless in their character. When I say this, I do not mean that all things are not worthwhile, but rather I argue that all things are equally worthless, which means that your subjective interpretations of said things, which are usually unequal, are strongly inaccurate. The reason the True self sees this to be the case ultimately lies in his divine Heart, which cuts through the abstract nothingness we call 'reality' and gives it new form, form that is only achievable when the soul is allowed to be himself. Because all love begins with self-love, all souls are obligated to learn love through their absolute self-understanding. Lonesome souls arguably have an advantage in this regard, for when left to meditate on and contemplate the emptiness of existence for many hours, days, and years at a time, they learn this principle of love most intimately. The great philosophical beauty of this phenomenon is that all souls benefit from it; indeed, love is such a powerful and universal force that it touches the Hearts of even the most depraved and arrogant of people. We speak of True love, of course, love that comes our inner self. It is love directly transmuted from God. When I speak of God, I do not speak of a divine entity that inhabits a plane we don't know of, but a Cosmic force that rules over us, governs our actions, compels us to be strong, and enables us to realize ourselves as part of its locomotion. The self is the only thing that prevents us from realizing True love. There is no knowledge, no skill, no amount of wealth or fame or material goods that can even pretend to approach the immensity and value of self-love. But never forget, if you feel uncomfortable with this idea, or feel yourself to be a lonesome soul: it is not vain, foolish, or conceited whatsoever to love yourself. The idea of self-love is the same idea as selfless love, for it comes from the same source - you form a singularity within yourself, a Cosmic energy, and you build it up properly, store it, and emanate it, project it outward into the suffering world. This has helped me many times. It is nothing more than the spiritual philosophy that motivates me to refrain from impulsivity, from uncertainty, from hatred, from regret - every parasitic emotion that may at times distract me from my duty to live properly, simply, and freely. It is a practical system, a system discussed endlessly throughout time by the Chinese, the Indians, the Greeks, the American and British Enlightenment thinkers: it is the system of ultimate self-release. That is truly what love is. My message goes out to all the lonesome souls who suffer the way I do, who see the life given to them as unfulfilling and flat, who feel their inner Heart burn every time they catch wind of their Freedom. They are the true cultivators of the future, and regardless of whether I argue well or not, they will save us in the times of demise, for they are the only ones who care. It is not the parasites, the detached souls, the helpless nothings - they will pass away, and be forgotten, and their souls will find another set of struggles to contend with, for they will have to do it all over again. I speak to the people whose Hearts seek something new, who can ignite the fire of the future, and I call onto them for guidance and reassurance. You must understand that I fear for the world as much as anyone, and that it is not in my interest to corrupt anyone's mind with any sort of random disinformation: indeed, my purpose for writing this text is simply karmic, simply what I've been given in this life, and I must accept it, for it is my absolute duty. You may have other duties, and you must do them, for the energy of the universe will reward you only when you do. Love yourself, or abandon this world forever.
Chapter 3: The Lonesome Soul Cannot Depend on the Outside World
         Souls will always die and be born again. Cyclical existence is a fundamental part of being. Life and death are quite simply aspects of the same thing. This is why, if you find yourself trapped in the existential uncertainty of being human and lonesome, you might realize that there is some trivialness in emotional obsession with yourself - it is nothing more than another episode in the Cosmic whole. I say all this only to emphasize a very important point: you are an independent organism, formed only by your experiences and self-perception, and are capable of living entirely independently of the world outside you. There is great beauty in the fact that a person is their own, and it is a great shame that many souls don't make use of their purity as individuals. But the world cannot be salvaged for a person who cannot be salvaged. If you suffer, you have an obligation to cure yourself - no one else can cure you in your place. This is especially true for lonesome souls, whose spirits radiate with hope. Their suffering is intimately self-inflicted, but it is inevitably so. The worried, uncertain, panicky souls might feel the ego weigh them down day after day, but it is not my duty to help them realize that perhaps this might be the source of their problems. They are not lonesome yet, though perhaps they have been at a point, at a time when their Hearts cried out for release. This is the source of all suffering for the grand majority of souls: their self-understanding is so lacking, so underdeveloped, so stubbornly ignorant, that they might circulate a thousand more lifetimes and gain nothing new. The universe functions on Necessary laws and principles, and all we must do is learn to abide by them and internalize them: and there is no weakness in this achievement, given that it allows us to find peace in our Hearts. My life may not even be real, and for this reason, I exercise utmost cautiousness in my approach to it, value every step and breath and action taken, and attempt to form as a good a system of self-understanding as possible. It is possible that all of this is illusion, and that the self is the only true thing - Descartes made this point very clear, but it had been argued previously by the Buddhists and Stoics. And let's suppose that the self is the only verifiably true and objective thing we have, and that all outside us is uncertain - it is not out of the question, then, to reform ourselves to the best of our ability, to develop physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and to maximize the pleasure of living. When I speak of pleasure, I refer not to indulgent material pleasures, but rather to divine pleasure, True pleasure that can only be generated from within - one can also call it happiness. In the Buddhist conception, when we transcend ourselves, all we see is nothing, and all we feel is bliss. This bliss is harmony with the universe in its most intimate form. If we realize that this world is temporary and unnecessary for our True awakening, we may also realize that nothing stops us from being better beings. This is the argument emphasized in Aurelius's Meditations, and it is a very strong one. There is something peaceful about being a Self. To be unmoved by existence might in fact be the most difficult virtue of all. I cannot deny that, but I can always work on myself and my reactions, for those are within my conscious power as a person. Remember this, and remember it always: to have eyes does not mean that you see the Truth. To have hands does not mean that you can touch God. To have ears does not mean that you can hear the music of creation. The senses are a faulty extension of your True self, and they suffer all of the necessary drawbacks as a result. Mankind's goal will always be to improve, and I believe very deeply that improvement comes only from within. Perceive the world a certain way, and that way it shall be given to you. Realize your destiny wholeheartedly, and carry the spirit of inspiration at all times. Wield your soul like a divine spear, and pierce the Heavens with your True nature. There is nothing that stops you, me, or anyone else from realizing these virtues. You might say that I'm dreaming, that I'm sophistic, that I'm mad, even - but I say that I am a Rational soul, realized in the virtues of my own volition. Of course I can be wrong. Do you not think I consider this possibility? But every day's passage teaches me new moral lessons, and every experience shapes my conscious self a new way. I don't forget the things I learn, nor do I neglect the virtues I've gained. Those who live in the subjective emotionality of the everyday: they live in fictions. Their affections rule them, and their values and ambitions suffer as a consequence. Those who fret over the occurrences of the outside world: they live in unnecessary struggle. Their emotions are allowed to enslave their rational faculty, and their fortitude and integrity as a being are injured. Whether we are in movement or completely still, particularly when we have no real control over an event - we must remember that the reaction is the most consequential thing, not the experience itself. The lonesome soul is shunned by the outside world, branded a stranger and reject many times in his life; he must learn to recognize that this is another set of affections in his life, and he must remain unmoved. You can always argue that the context matters greatly, certainly, and that the person who has lost their mother has a much greater right to grief than the person who has lost a quarter in a well; yet I will say that both persons must be equally resilient. Remember the point that this is not about you or I. Life rarely concerns itself with individuals. The Universe is collective in its greatness, and even if we successfully attribute importance to one man or one woman, life will punish us in the long run. You can also argue that there's a contradiction in my reasoning, and that I cannot simultaneously bless the Self as the most important source of understanding, and say that we have no inherent significance as individuals. You will be right to argue this, but you must consider the greater scale of what I'm saying: the Self is what we are trying to relinquish and overcome, not devotedly revere. The great gift of existence is that we have this right to be selfless and open-hearted, for it is a gift derived directly from God. We are individuals, but we are also a single consciousness. It is even more central for the lonesome soul to understand this than for the regular one. The lonesome soul should embrace himself, difficult as it seems, and once he embraces himself, he will be able to embrace everyone else at once. The essence of the argument is that if you find yourself in this condition of exploration and soul-seeking, you might feel discouraged by the outside world, the human world - but don't be discouraged. The world is frail and weak on purpose, and you are only obligated to see through it with your True eyes. The lonesome soul is not worse for seeing the truth. He might suffer more, at least at first - perhaps he even pushes himself to the brink of madness or death. But there is no sinfulness or evil in being this way. If we die seeking the truth, we can consider ourselves better than those who live and do not. The truth is the essential foundation on which all tasks should be carried out. Ask yourself: in my day spent today, how many times was I truthful and just? How many people did I talk to, and what did I say to them? Do not think about what they said, for that goes against the purpose of the inquiry. Think only about yourself, a vessel of truth, a being circulating in a network of other beings. Forge the ultimate Self. Monitor every movement and thought that goes through you. Consider every event that takes place as having a certain importance, and consider every reaction of yours to those events as having a certain value. Be mindful of everything, even if it strains your mind to think. If you suffer, uncover the root of your suffering. Do not engage the suffering with your emotions, for that will breed even more suffering. If you must express your feelings, do so in a manner that will hurt you least. I hope you realize that my Heart tells you these things sincerely, even if I seem sophistic or superficial in my argument. This book is as much an interaction with you as it is one with myself. I want to give something to philosophy and to people that may only be called a dying thing: help. I am openly willing to help people, even if I don't entirely know how, by providing a text like this. I want the human soul to be reformed, slowly. I want the tethers of weakness to be lifted, the damnations of the bitter world outside you fought against, the simplicity and stupidity we all intuitively fall into to be resisted. There is no room for falsehood in a world of righteousness. In the end, as Aurelius says best, we will all be ashes. Plato, buried and forgotten. Shakespeare, nothing more than a name. Picasso, a memory among many. Remember yourself.
Chapter 4: The Lonesome Soul Should Not Care About What Happens
In some principal way, not caring feels wrong and discordant in some way. We value the empathetic and the good in people, and we appreciate those who commit to moral, concerned action. But there are many instances when nonsense floods the conscience, and the messages of the universe serve only to provide half-hearted answers. The lonesome soul is one of these sensitive empaths. He feels the circulation of sin far and throughout the world, person by person - he too suffers as a consequence of this immersion. The experiences of people, though meaningful, are plenty and generic. Many men and women have gone through the same trials and tribulations, from birth to childhood to adolescence to adulthood to death. You're different - you can break the cycle. There is a certain dependency on normalcy that the average person ascribes to without much thought, a feeling of helplessness and defeat because the greater human world is so difficult to overcome. But these are constructions. The True self is awakened only when convention is torn to pieces, when entropy becomes the status quo. There is no easy way to live in a world that does not move. The man who is inactive in the True sense fails to understand what he lives for, even if he could claim to have lived a good life with a spouse and children and a career. The unfulfilled masses suffer because they don't understand the simplicity of living. They are always immersed, always dancing pretentiously, always defending ideologies - they fail, for they are not living the way they must. The human is a body, a mind, a soul, an essence, and so on. He is engineered with the capacity to be impartial and precise, but is equally capable of being fragile and suggestible. The lonesome soul knows that people do not suffer because of any true evil within them, but only because they do not feel right. They don't feel realized in their movements and virtues, nor do they feel properly regarded for their efforts. Thus, their Ego continues to bring them downward into an endless spiral of suffering. The lonesome soul is beautiful in that way, for he can will himself to be free. The self-indoctrinated will never be free if they continue tormenting themselves with the material world. Mankind tries to justify itself to itself, and fails at every turn. But perhaps this is all illusion anyway, and maybe the Evil has simply been established as a barrier for the Good. Maybe we are being toyed with, tested, mocked by the Higher. By all means, these things are not supposed to make us worse as beings. We are supposed to continue reforming our souls through experience and introspection. We see emotionality as the source of human weakness, and we realize that many billions of people throughout history have killed or been killed because of emotional uncertainty. People will themselves wrongly. That is the issue, from the very beginning, when we have the ability to create Goodness from within, and only create paranoia and cynicism. The parasites feed on us at all times, but especially when we seem weak. What is madness? Madness is nothing more than an extreme of passion. Those who are mad have done nothing wrong. Their fate is simply tormenting them for their own personal reasons. What is hatred? Hatred is nothing more than an extreme of anger. Those who are hateful are not wrong. They are simply on the suffering side of the Real. Shall we learn new things in the passage of struggle? Of course. There is always a cause for understanding the madness and hatred that passes through us. Day after day, mankind is tested and pressed in a million ways - but there is nothing wrong with this. We will improve, strengthen, toughen our senses, make better decisions. Mankind is like this, it adapts. It reforms itself towards Goodness. That is its natural tendency, for we were molded in God's image, and God is eternally Good. To experience new sensations and to learn of the machinations of the greater world - this is knowledge, and it is Good. Even if we shall be chastised for our choices, and reprimanded for being foolish, we can be confident that there is something eternally righteous in us, the greater Understanding, that motivates us to be selfless in the highest form. By no means is suffering a natural condition of mankind, and by no means do we wish to be miserable - unless our nature appears to attract that for a time. Remember, truly, that your nature conforms to Godhood, and that Godhood conforms to things beyond this dreadful earth. Relish in existence - for it is your own. Value every breath and step you take, for it exclusively belongs to you. Your livelihood, your passion, your fighting spirit: what shall be said of these things, when they are what gives you the right to be You so unequivocally? Aren't your intrinsic properties powerful and righteous? When you suffer, you deny the right to freedom. Don't you know this to be true in your Heart? When you think that your suffering is real, don't you deny yourself the right to exist? When you think that evil is haunting you, don't you realize that the evil comes from your own Ego-projection? Why are you so sensitive to the simple sufferings of your weak-willed conscience? Do you not wish to be happy? Are you so indifferent that your nature has rejected the word? Restore yourself, remember what you were. Every time you suffer, you can come back to the healthy state. You are entitled to be yourself, for you are truly You, and God has formed you to be truly that way. The Self haunts you because you don't embrace it. The Self questions you because you question it. You have always been God, but you feel the need to demean yourself, to condescend over yourself. You live in distraction, for you don't understand lonesomeness and its true properties. You are a Free being - you are not a Slave! Why must you limit yourself, place boundaries upon your soul, oppress your Heart and its True properties - have you a grudge against yourself? When you feel a sense of depression and anxiety, don't you realize that you're simply overstimulating your senses? Are you not suffering? We have to suffer to achieve anything in this world, but not because we're depraved and sad - we must learn from suffering, for that is the only salvation from madness. We exist in a unity of sufferers suffering, and we must not join in. We must not play into the humors of our Ego, for it wins every time that happens. To invite the suffering side is to admit that we're weak and malleable. How can we permit our weakness to be the victor? Its intentions are malicious, its truths are unnecessary, its methods are brutish - we must conquer our awful natures. The man that has created has already done a good for himself and the people around him - for he creates fearlessly, and this deserves its own reward. The true spirit of creation is inherent within us all, but only those who tap into the abilities granted to us all are the Free ones. We can lift anything, fight anything, kill anything, and yet we fear the worst thing to fear, which is ourselves. How can we be so simple? We could've become Gods already, and yet we fret about the instability of our thoughts, worry about the loves we have, concern ourselves with the future - as though any of these things are solid and founded in reality. Indeed, the only thing that is truly founded in reality is my own Self, and with this I know that I can do anything. I am unrestricted. I am an unlimited being. I can be the vessel of creation that I've always dreamed I could be. And most of all - I can carry myself with an open heart. The spirit of inspiration, the spirit of love, the spirit of ultimate Godhood: these have always been in my conscience. I just wish I could act upon them with my divine Will. I could realize Godhood. We all could. But the lonesome souls who suffer and know that they are not inconsequential have an obligation to do it first. They know that they have something true to them, and thus they've been touched by God. Their path is sealed by Necessity. All of our paths conform to universal law, however, and we are all equally obligated to have a conscience about the things that are Real. It doesn't matter if we are exploring the great Cosmos - God has rewarded His pioneers for centuries and millennia. The fearful souls, the ones who have committed to nothing - they lost the battle. Their fight had never begun, and they forsook their purpose before God could even touch them. Yet they insist that their path is noble, their words sincere, their intentions humble, their soul forgiving; on the inside, they are the ones who beg for God's forgiveness hours after rejecting a homeless man money. Their ego plagues them with messages of self-hatred. Their weakness as a being is quite defined. They lack the nerve, the gall, the ultimate sacrificial need. They may claim that their Hearts burn. The Hearts burn only when they are aimed at higher purpose. Their purpose has never left this earth. Thus, their Hearts have never truly burned, and their egos have kept them restrained to this earth forever. Indeed, I speak of no one in particular, yet so many souls find this suffering to be true. The need to be Real is unending. We are never without a goal, but to be fearless and unending ourselves - this is a true accomplishment. To be stoic and emotionally free, and to not concern oneself with the affairs of the world - this is the true release a person has from himself. To be righteous without fear of rejection is the ultimate human virtue. God proclaims those who give themselves entirely: His children. To be faithful is a virtue of the saints; to be just is a virtue of the philosophers; to be kind is a virtue of the humanist; to be precise is a virtue of the Yogis; but to be truly Divine is a virtue only of the Transcendent soul. And transcendence is a gift granted only to the Free. The lonesome soul is Free, but doesn't know it yet - remember this, and tread carefully and with an open Heart. Do not forsake the nature that has made you Real, for it is the only one that is true. Recall every day that you're swarmed with doubt, and filled with the parasites of self, and uncertain about how to proceed - remember this, but do not let this be your master. Be your own governor, as the Free man must. Be your own savior, as the Divine man must. Be your own God, as the True man must. When you jump off a cliff, think not about the pain of the fall, but the beauty of your fearless soul.
Chapter 5: The Lonesome Soul Must Embrace Existence
It is easy to submit to weakness and suffering. The majority of souls are compelled by this tendency, but it is not the necessary tendency. There is no connection between the lonesome soul and his universe - thus he must love life. To meditate upon the Real and take in multitudes is beautiful, but to brood upon one's failures and shortcomings is a way only to madness. The universe judges us. Our actions and commitments implicate us wherever we go. Suffering is the status quo. But to embrace the life we live, even if it is ultimately pathetic - this can save us. To take in the world as a series of actions and reactions can teach us necessary moral lessons. Our lives are not in our total control, as we well understand from the moment we commit to a decision and are still affected by it years later. Much of what we live for is relative and uncertain, which is why we question ourselves day after day. Nonetheless, life's true victories are defined by absolute self-love, the renunciation of fear, the conquest of dreadful emotions. When we fear our psyches, we fear what is natural. When we fear the course of the universe, we fear what is inevitable. When we fear the stability of our position in the universe, we fear what is not in our control. To take in the universe as a series of flows and ripples is the most beautiful thing we can do - it allows us to relinquish our weakness. It allows us to overcome that one thing that constantly encroaches on our true freedom. When we seek to help others, but are withheld by doubt and indecision, we are judged. When we want to love someone, but are struck dumb with the ambiguities of our own conscience, we fail to capture love in any form. Everything that is true in this world is wholesome. Everything that exists necessarily exists and flows from God. If He truly exists, He will exist only in your Heart. The radiance of the higher world awaits us, and all that is needed is to overcome the hurdle of this life. To be Good to others is natural and true; to be possessed by our inner drive is essential; to be unambiguous and forthright about our actions is ultimate. We must act as the Divine do. Even if all the myths and legends and stories are untrue, their concepts and metaphors have Reality. Where there is the potential for higher purpose, there is the drive to attain it. The lonesome soul has heard all of these things radiate in his Heart before, and they may ring like clich to many other souls - but the action is the most necessary part, even if these words don't resonate. Lonesome souls must know what it means to be lonesome. Their condition is not miserable, and their lives are not punishments. This is all internal. It is a set of conditions necessarily made to fashion us into divine beings. Whether we accept our lives or not depends only on the commitment we make to begin living life properly. We may live for ten years, fifteen, thirty five, fifty - but only when we realize what it means to live do we understand that there is something beyond us in this world. The weak willed should not bring us down in this journey, nor should be the parasites be allowed to reign over our glorious world. The lonesome soul is alone, but he is not sad. His path is the one that all souls must begin to understand and embrace. Only then can we begin to achieve peace in a greater sense. Our moral duty as people is surely to love life, but to love life truly consists in sacrifice and release. To love life as the healthy and sincere heroes do, we must understand ourselves inside out, and learn not to commit to the same errors that had always beaten us before. To love life in a way that is meaningful, we must become vessels of total inspiration, free from the boundaries set forth by our malicious masters, and unearth that hidden potential that lies in our inner genius. Mankind has clung onto God for millennia, and whether or not that clinging was vain and misunderstood, mankind has sustained itself through it. And if God exists, we must exist in His image. That means that we must unearth our inner God. We must conquer these coils, liberate the Self from its maddening uncertainty, understand the essence of existence, and become True. Witness creation! Behold the forces that compel you to be yourself. It is precious, the opportunity to be possessed by God's ultimate power. It is absolutely necessary to be a vessel of the higher thing. You, the cultivator of victory and virtue, are necessarily bound to God's will whenever you act true to your nature. You are gifted the gift of seeing what cannot be seen. You must cut through the world given to you with the razor's edge of love. Paralyzing and sharp, your razor makes fine, powerful incisions through the falsehoods, freeing your soul from its bodily cage. That is what lonesomeness is truly about. To be Free in the True sense, you must understand what it means to be in a world of One, a world of You. When you will understand that only this constitutes meaning, you will have no blockage, no barrier, no chasm or rift that will bar you from your achievements. Discerning the truth as the Divine would - this is what makes you great. Do not take me for a fool, for when I say that you can be the best you can be, I only motivate you to forsake your weakness as a being. I do not say, "Brother, you are a fool, and deserve nothing". I say, "Brother, you are my friend, and I must value my friends and offer them my sincerest help". The same applies to my sisters, those who are bounded in the same cloth of fate as I am. All who are in the same karmic lonesomeness as I, understand this: I wish to feel your pain and resonate with it, to develop that heartfelt sympathy of Necessity. I fear nothing. I doubt nothing. I am no longer an ambiguous being. I must witness myself in the mirror and say "that is all". The me in the mirror, who judges me and plays on my true understanding - he thinks it's funny to mock me. He supposes that I'm weak and frail. But the fool never understood that the mirror is a gateway into realization, and shows me the silliness of my obsessions. The fool thinks that the mirror is telling him the truth. But the fool is not my friend, and neither should he be yours. Though I appreciate all people, my true friends are only those who are open to the universe. I wish to consult those with open Hearts, those whose minds are aware of the reality of things, those whose souls seek the world beyond this one. I tire of the unimaginative man. The generalization-thing that has made us so weak and pitiful must no longer rule. Life must be loved at all costs. There is no path greater to us than the one of self-sacrifice. So be it if we perish. So be it if nothing Real happens to us on this journey. In the end, we'll have gained something inconceivable to any mind - bliss, unbroken and ultimate. As Buddha had achieved his path through pure meditation, as Jesus had realized his way through the teachings of God, as Krishna had filled the Hearts of the devoted with holy Truth; you, in all your glory, must realize what you know to be your ultimatum. You must forge the connections in your being, form the Necessary bonds, and relinquish this world. Be your own best friend for once, and embrace that world that you've created, for it is the one you're entitled to without question. Perhaps I speak of generalities and clich when I speak of such things - by all means, I'm but a young human, circulating in the endless cosmos. I wish to know what you wish to know, and that is why we are here.