Bird

PROLOGUE

The small nuthatch pecked at the ground, seemingly oblivious to her. If it wondered where these amazingly clean seeds came from, or who this gawky girl was, it showed no such curiosity. Its eyes, masked with a solid band of black, regarded her of course, in the way that birds do, but not in the way she was hoping. The birds here were different, wilder. In the city they were much more receptive. She took a few more deep breaths and tried again.

Nothing. The bird didn't even slow. She sat back with a frustrated sigh and grabbed at a tuft of grass, and then realizing what she'd done, threw it away with a start. It lay in the dirt, and her heart slowed when she saw that the grass was green. She glanced around and none of that strange purple grass was close at hand. The authorities said that there wasn't anything to be afraid of, the grass had been tested and it was the same as green grass all the way down to its DNA, no differences other than hue, but she never trusted what the “authorities” said. She saw the way they glanced from side to side as they spoke. No, she knew a lie when she heard one.

Recently her life had been full of them. Even though she didn't know the specifics (yet), she knew one of her parents had had an affair. She heard the fights, and felt the tension that started to grow in strength and substance around them. They started being nicer to her, lying through their actions that everything was ok. They didn't think she noticed, and indeed she never really let on that she did. So when her dad called a little family meeting she wasn't surprised to hear that they were moving. It'll be a fresh start, he said, did you notice that the Stodolka's have bars on their windows? And so do Corner Market and Home Video. The crime is rising and the all the trees are dying. On that last part he had held her in an intense stare, knowing that environmental issues were her weak spot. And he was right about the trees. A nasty epidemic of Dutch elm disease swept through the neighborhood and most of them had to be cut down. She had cried in her room all weekend with her pillow over her head trying to drown out the sound of the saws.

After that she was ready to move as well. She knew, on some level, that her parents were running away from something. She might as well run too. The move had happened a month ago already, and things were ok, yet the rift was still there. It was buried under new experiences and fresh air but still it lurked. Some things can't be repaired and that includes some relationships. The relationship of her parents' had become like a beloved doll whose face had been glued back on after breaking, familiar yet different in a terrifying way. Her parents smiled, but she could see the strain underneath. Their faces wore the masks that they many adults put on every time they wanted to hide from the world. But the world sees through. Every time.

She heard voices coming from the field on the other side of the tree line. She looked back down at the nuthatch and it was standing still and looking at her expectantly. A slight breeze ruffled its grey and cream feathers, and the leaves of the surrounding trees whispered of older times. She wasn't sure if the bird finally knew her, or if it was just tame. The township was built right up into the surrounding woods, and a lot of people liked to feed them so bird feeders were an accessory in most backyards, and birds in Osage were generally less afraid of people than in other places. This one seemed to be looking at her more intently than usual, however, so she furrowed her brow and tried to concentrate as hard as she could. After a moment, bored with its current situation, the bird flew away. She uttered one of the only curse words she knew, and headed toward the tree line, stepping lithely over any splashes of purple.

Just on the other side of the trees was a small field with a rough baseball diamond on one side and various fences for livestock belonging to Old Moyer the farmer, on the other. The most worrisome of the fences was the large bull pen that jutted right up against the playing field, or just about. Dappling’s of white glimmered within the old oak fence, abandoned baseballs littered the pen except for a wide swath along the perimeter about the length of a boy's arm. She shuddered when she looked towards the darkened shack that served as a shelter to the bull. She hadn't seen it yet, so she assumed that bulls must sleep during the day.

On the diamond a handful of boys had arrived and were milling about, talking and laughing with each other. They were obviously waiting for more friends so they could start a game. Good. It was something to do other than go home and tiptoe around her house and bear the weight of that suffocating blanket of tension. Plus it was a nice day, and the sun felt good on her face, erasing the shadows and filling the empty spots.

She turned around and headed back to the little clearing where she had spent the afternoon. She would come back and watch once they started playing, it would be too awkward for her to stand there and stare at them until then. She covered her eyes against the sun breaking through the treetops and saw that there were multiple birds hanging out in branches, singing and chirping softly to themselves. She took out a handful of seed and dispersed it across the ground and then took a step back. After a moment a yellow finch dropped down to eat, and then a robin, and then another nuthatch. Soon a half dozen birds where chirping and pecking away with abandon. She stood smiling and watching for a while and then knelt down next to them.

They all took off in a flurry of feathers except for one, the original yellow finch. It watched her for a second and then continued eating, keeping an eye on her all the while. She concentrated again, but this time tried to keep calm. She didn't understand all this either, best to keep things slow and safe. She tried to throw her thoughts at it, with some positive emotions mixed in. Maybe if she tried shouting mentally, as loud as she could-

The yellow finch stopped eating and its red eyes jerked and met hers. What?! it shouted back.