Dear Me

(Word Count 766)
Dear me,
I know last year started out terrible, but you persevered and made it through and you are in much better shape this new year. That being said I would like to address a few issues that need your attention. First of all I do not want you to get discouraged so this is not going to be a resolution type of thing where you challenge yourself to loose weight or to stop binge watching shows on Netflix. These issues are more personal in nature and are very easily attainable if you are indeed willing to take a good look at yourself and admit it is time for a change. So that will be my first challenge, to address honesty. I am speaking of being completely honest with yourself. Admit that you are lonely and that you hate your job no matter what the pay. Admit that as much as you love your family you are ready for them to move out and find their own way. Admit that the reason you haven't pushed this particular issue is because you are afraid they will resent you. You cannot be honest with anyone if you refuse to be honest with yourself. You cannot help anyone if you are not willing to help yourself. Grow a pair and just admit that these things need to be addressed and dealt with or you are forever going to be a slave to your own reluctance to make positive changes in your life.

The second challenge you need to address is your comatose state of existence. There are so many more things in life than watching Youtube and Netflix, or working, eating and sleeping. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE once in a while. Mix it up. Have lunch with a friend. Spend more time with family. Do things for yourself once in a while. Don't spend your year hermitted away like a recluse. You are a vibrant, beautiful person who no one ever sees because you live life like a zombie. It is okay to be awake and to live in the moment.

The third challenge I want to address is your health. You need to go back to the doctor and get back on your medicine. Your diabetes is out of control and so is your blood pressure. It would help tremendously if you lost weight, but for this year I will settle for regular doctor visits and a healthier diet. Perhaps some moderate exercise? And while we are on the issue of health please get your yearly pap smear and breast exam. You know there is a history of cancer in your immediate family and yearly check-ups are very important to early detection. Don't be a fool, you are loved and will be missed terribly if something were to happen to you.

My fourth challenge goes along with the third. It is your mental state. You know you have severe clinical depression, and you know medication helps. You have the insurance now, so go to a therapist get back on your meds! Really fight this demon that has plagued you your whole life.

The fifth challenge is to be nicer to everyone. Your attitude sucks and you tend to lose your cool way too much. You also take your frustrations out on people closest to you. It takes so little to make the decision to be nice, and not fly off the handle all the time. Think before you react. Be that person who chooses to be nice. What does that Facebook meme say, "If you can't find a nice person be one?" Let that be your motto for the year.

My last challenge is to be good to yourself. You spend way too much time tearing yourself down, it is time to start building yourself up. You know by now that the critical voice in your head is in overdrive and has way too much power over you. You really are not a bad person and people really do care about you. Stop belittling and berating yourself. Accept the fact that there are some things, a lot of things, you do not have control over. Start really loving yourself. Stop feeling bad because you cannot live up to some exaggerated image of yourself that does not exist. Be accepting and happy with the unique person God created and called you.

These challenges are attainable and needed. All you have to do is embrace them and do not be afraid to change. Hope these will help you prosper and grow through 2017.

Much Love,
Me