Body Imperfect

This is how nightmares begin.  The mind’s eye captures a sunlit day then pans to the crowd of happy people laughing and making merry.  Briefly, the eye catches the one thing that is the center of this  happy scene.  Slowly the eyes trace back through the faces to land once again upon it – to that which will bring chaos to the serenity of this scene.

Jill would stare at this for several minutes, waiting for the moment to pounce on her prey.  She made her slow slide to the edge of the crowd, using a nod, a smile, an excuse not to stop and talk,to close the distance to the object of her desire. 

This is where the alarm clock is supposed to go off, or be dragged out of the bed by an irritated mother, something is supposed to end the dream before it becomes the nightmare.  But this time it did not.  It could not.  For this wedding is happening and this treasure trove of food is real.  She could not see the people or the happy couple.  She only knew that she had been fighting off this crazy since age 14 and it still haunted her. 

Crying into her pillow never answered the question of why she had discipline in everything except her eating.  ED’s ever presence made her see her 135 pound petite frame as the obese blob she saw herself to be.  He could infiltrate the most innocent of life experiences and ruin it totally.  And he would do so again today.  She would gorge herself with the cake past the point of satiation.  She would punish herself for her misdeed later.  And mama would cry for her as she always did.

[word count: 287]
non winning entry for "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" .  The subject matter was too intense for the judge.  JMO