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Rated: 13+ · Essay · Satire · #2104768
A satire outlining some of the problems faced by those in poverty.
         The cold clutch of poverty has reached far too many Americans to be acceptable by our standards. We must stand up to the government and stop the increasing number of citizens who refuse to embrace the lifestyle of the wealthy.
         For decades, those without sufficient income have been abusing all the hard work and effort of the upper class. And their lives have become infinitely easier because of how our system treats them. When you see all of the benefits of being completely broke, you'd be surprised that there aren't more people jumping on the bandwagon.
         Embracing the lifestyle poverty means not having to worry about responsibilities. With constant support from the government and other organizations whose only goal is to make life easier, there is no need to work hard, find a job, or do everyday tasks like taking showers. A poor person easily has five hundred percent more free time in the average day than a hard working member of the upper class.
         This is simply unacceptable.
         For a poor person, happiness is much easier to find as well. While the wealthy struggle every day to put their mind at ease with all the difficult work they have to do, poor people are happy just to have food on the table. One of the most common goals any individual has in this age is maintaining a healthy lifestyle. However, contrary to popular opinion, being fat can actually "healthy": while in recovery from an illness, the body requires much more energy to bounce back, and being fat means carrying tons of loose energy. Fortunately for those in poverty, the most common foods they eat are rich in fat, allowing them to store up all that energy for rough times. With no money to spare, making financial decisions is also incredibly easy. In fact, most poor people haven't even heard of taxes, let alone filed any. They can even beg for free change directly from the pockets of people driving around street corners.
         Many people living in cities with high crime rates fear getting mugged while walking alone at night. But once again, poor people can simply ignore this fear altogether. Without having a single cent in their pockets, why would anyone ever try to steal from them? While the elite have to spend countless amounts of money installing security systems in their homes and hiring body guards to protect them from any violence, the poor get another freebie on this one.
         With all these unfair differences between the rich and the poor, it is apparent something must be done about all these people taking advantage of their unfortunate upbringings. The first idea I propose is to cut off any aid given to poverty stricken individuals. Without all the free money, food, and shelter that we've been giving them for so long, the poor will either find a way to enter a higher tax bracket or pay the consequences. Either way, they will no longer be a burden on the taxpayers.
         What are these consequences? Slavery.
         A law should be put in place that allows the wealthy to enslave people who have been living in poverty for too long. The definition of "too long" could vary, but I would estimate about one week to be the maximum. America has come a long way since the days of slavery, and it has only caused the lower class to gain more and more benefits at the cost of the upper classes. It's time to bring back this tradition before our country is swallowed by poverty.
         If, for some ungodly reason, the law to re-enact slavery does not pass, then the only real solution is to let the poor die off completely. Though this idea may seem extreme to many, it is important to keep in mind how natural selection works. As humans, we too are subject to the ways of evolution, where the strong survive and the weak do not. The only way to get rid of poor people is to let natural selection take its course, allowing the wealthy to finally become a majority of the population, further reinforcing the power they have deserved all along.

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