Bunky Dunbar Saves the World! (part 1)

Bunky Dunbar Saves the World! (part 1)

This story is told from the point of view of Buncardo “Bunky” Dunbar, Paladin of Tyr.  He did not travel alone and others may have a different point of view or version of how these events unfolded, but Bunky's is the most fun!

Part 1 - The Adventure Begins!

         It all began in the year 24,567 Dale Reckoning, or something like that.  I don’t know.  I heard one of the priests saying something about years and dates and stuff when we arrived in Raven’s Bluff.  It was some sort of formal announcement when I arrived in the city, since I was like the ONLY Paladin to arrive in a couple years.  If they all knew I had only been a Paladin for a couple weeks, they might not have made such a big deal.  Or that I grew up as the son of a dung farmer.

         I kind of lost track of everything cuz of all the people swarming around the docks and grabbing stuff being lowered off the ship.  It was like a bunch of ants scurrying all over a freshly dropped piece of apple.  Everyone seemed to know what they were supposed to be doing and no one got in anyone else’s way.  Very organized and efficient.  I liked that.

         When Father Windbag finally finished all the formal announcements, it was time for fun.  It seemed like a million people all walked up to meet me on the way to the temple.  A handshake with Mort the fish-monger.  Have to wash that off later.  A ruffle of the kid’s hair when I met Mr. Quartzbright.  A jeweler - wonder if that’s a coincidence.  Gnomish children are so cute!  A cordial nod toward Captain Gardener of the City Watch as we passed his post.  Wow, he’s a big one.  I always had a knack for remembering names and personalities.  The temple priests loved to put me on front gate duty because I always seemed to know who was coming and how to greet them for best effect.  I could never explain why, it just came naturally.  If only the words in the religious texts were so easy to handle… and his name isn’t Windbag, it’s Garundenir.  Now I have to say some prayers for insulting him.  This ‘Holy Warrior of Light and Justice’ is going to be harder than I thought.

         It was only about two days later when something really awesome happened.  I was working on front gate duty at the temple and a super tall guy dressed in kind of expensive armor walked up.  He asked where he could find someone who could help him identify some writing or markings on a scroll, so I sent him to see Brother Holgrim in the library.  That wasn’t really awesome, it’s what happened next…

         One of my buddies comes out and says, “Bunky, they need you inside alcove three right now, ready to fight.”

         So I drew out the handy longsword and stepped to.  They definitely wouldn’t call for me unless they needed some serious smacking down done on the behalf of righteousness and good.  Anyway, I get to alcove three and guess what?  There’s Super-Tall Guy, standing there with his hands up, surrounded by temple guards, and Brother Holgrim staring at him disapprovingly.  Trust me, it took me all of one hour in town to realize that Brother Holgrim’s disapproval is enough to get you stuck in purgatory for a decade, so I lined up this guy’s gullet with the tip of my sword and waited for the order.  Instead, Brother Holgrim starts asking the guy questions.

         “Where did you get this?”  He was holding up a piece of cloth with some weird claw and fire symbol on it.

         “Um, uh, sir, it was found, uh, among the possessions of a, uh, dead guy.”  His eyes were shifty.  I never trusted anyone with shifty eyes.

         “Bunky, do your thing.”  I stepped forward to gut the guy and saw Brother Holgrim hold up a hand.

         “No, Bunky.  The other thing.”

         Oh!  I stared at the guy really hard and unfocused my eyes just a little, cuz that usually helps.  I thought really hard, but didn’t get the dark feelings or the sense of dread that usually comes with being in the presence of someone evil.  I tried really hard because of the shifty eyes and all, but still didn’t get the feeling.

         “No, sir.  He’s OK as far as I can tell.”  I added the last part because I’d only been able to do this since I took my vows a few weeks before, and I was still not sure how accurate it was.

         “Thank you, Bunky.  All of you, return to your posts.”  He motioned dismissal with his hand.  “That will be all.”

         Well, that was kind of cool, but still wasn‘t the coolest thing that happened.  A little while later, I was summoned again.  Brother Holgrim had a mission for me!  He was sending me with Sister Sierra, a priestess of our order, to go with Super-Tall Guy to investigate the disappearance of some merchants.  They were expected in town a few days ago, but never showed up and haven’t been seen on the road.  Foul play was expected, so they called for a group to check it out.  I was in the group!  Finally!  All those years of training and reading and fasting and reading and sparring and reading some more (who ever knew there was so much reading involved in becoming a Holy Warrior of Light and Justice?) and now I get to DO SOMETHING!

         On the temple’s gold, Sister Sierra and I went about town and got some equipment for adventuring in the wild.  We met up the next morning with Super-Tall Guy, whose name is actually Phred, and some other guy Brother Holgrim said was OK.  His name was Danny and he claimed to be a woodland guide.  He smelled like sewerage.  Trust me, I know sewerage, cuz I grew up the son of a dung farmer.  He didn’t give off any creepy feelings, and Brother Holgrim had vouched for him, so despite the smell, we all fell in together and set out into the Great Unknown.  Actually, towards an ruined manor house South of town, as that’s where Brother Holgrim had said to start looking first, but you get the idea…

         About half a day’s travel out of town, we came across this little guy sitting on a rock juggling stones.  I’d seen Halflings before, but this guy was pretty well dressed for someone sitting on a rock in the middle of nowhere.

         “Hail and well met, travelers!”  He stopped juggling and stood up, bringing him to eye level with me.  I noticed he didn’t drop any of the stones, though…

         “Hey, there!  Well met!”  No reason to be rude, having just met him and all.  Plus, he didn’t give off “The Vibe.”

         “So what brings such a rough and tumble group of warriors along this little stretch of road on such a fine day?”

         “We’re headed to old Fleetwood Manor to investigate disappearing merchants!”  Sister Sierra’s foot met swiftly with my own and the pain and her stare let me know I had done something wrong.

         “So very open with your plans, are ye?”  The little guy hopped off the rock and took a step toward us.  “There could be bad people about, even those responsible for disappearing merchants, you know.”

         Oops, hadn’t thought of that.

         Phred stepped to the front.  “So you and your friends are keeping an eye out for bad people, eh?”

         The little guy looked around at the surrounding bushes and smiled.  “You never know who might happen along a road such as this.  Gotta be careful.”

         “As are we, but we mean no harm to the Folk, so long as they mean us no harm in return.”  Phred used the term Halflings use for themselves and the little guy seemed more at ease.

         “Well, I can tell by your holy symbols and open manners that you’re not those for whom we are set to watch.”  Just as he said this, about a dozen other Folk appeared from the brush near the road.

         Danny eased over beside me.  “I saw them all along.”

         “No you didn’t!  Neither of us saw them until Phred pointed them out!”

         Well, to make a long story short, the little guy’s name was Charles Tophat and he was a watchman for a newly-founded village of the Folk that was a little ways off the road.  He said there had been strange sounds and lights from back in the swamp near the old manor, so he welcomed the fact that someone was going to investigate.  With some parting words of encouragement, he sent us on our way and offered their hospitality if we should ever pass this way again.  Ominous sounding, isn’t it?  Like, if I was a professional story-teller, that would be called ‘foreshadowing’ or something.  I read about that once…

         By mid-afternoon, we came upon a swampy part of the forest and found the keep.  It was obviously an ancient building of past grandeur, but was crumbling around the edges and the moat wall had broken, making the area off the road very mucky and uninviting.

         Danny went ahead to scout, but returned quickly with ominous news.  Ominous - I like that word.  Makes things feel kind of creepy and scary.  “There’s something moving about on the parapets.  Just shadows from what I can see, so it‘s staying well hidden.  No other signs of anything unusual.”

         We approached cautiously, hoping there weren’t archers waiting for us to come into range.  We crept up to the crumbling drawbridge and started debating how to cross safely when we saw the shadows move on the top of the wall.

         “Move, fast people!”  Phred started running toward the open gate across the drawbridge.  “We have to close before they can shoot us with their bows!”

         He made it halfway across the drawbridge before he slipped through a hole and got stuck.  Turned out we should’ve been watching below the walls instead of on top.

         Shlwap!!  Zing!!

         A huge tentacle-like thing shot from between the reeds on the edge of the moat, stuck to Phred, and yanked him clean off the drawbridge and into the mouth of the largest toad I had ever seen!  Only his kicking feet were sticking out and the toad started trying to mush him up in its mouth.  Phred’s big huge sword splashed into the moat.

         “Hey!  That’s not a fly!  That‘s Phred!”  I charged in with my longsword.  “I’m coming buddy!”

         An arrow swished by my head and sank into the toad’s eye.  Hmmm, Danny’s a good shot with that thing.  Gooey sticky guts spewed out Cool! but the monster refused to spit Phred out into the muck.  I arrived on scene and proceeded to hew gashes of righteous fury into the beast.

         Shlwap!!

         Another toad!  His gargantuan tongue smacked into my shield, but didn’t stick well enough for him to pull me away from the fray with his buddy-toad.

         Shmlop!!  The tongue made a sound like a boot pulling out of mud as it came loose and he reeled the appendage of doom back into his mouth for another shot.

         “Danny, kill that one while I get Phred out!”  He was already on it as toady number two sprouted some arrows from his flank.

         Sister Sierra called upon the powers of goodness and light and I immediately felt the bolstering power flooding my body.  I’d felt this blessing during training once.  My sword would strike more truly and any hint of trepidation flew from me.  Oh yeah!  Time for some smacking down of monstrous toads!!

         After a bit more sword hewing, the beast spit Phred out and sank into the water.  The second toad didn’t give up so soon, but between Phred smacking it with my war hammer and Danny turning it into a pin cushion, it fled with its friend.  It took longer to find Phred’s sword under the water than the fight with the toads, but we kept watch and the toads had enough of our style of play and didn‘t return.

         Now that we were pretty sure we weren’t going to get stuck with arrows from the non-existent guards on the walls, we checked the area more closely.  Danny found tracks from numerous boots going into the manor house.  We failed to realize the significance of not finding any coming back out.

         We were more careful crossing the drawbridge this time.  Once we were all ‘safely’ inside the gatehouse, we realized the shadows on the top of the walls were just that.  Nothing but tumbleweeds blowing about in the wind.  Now it was time to see what horrors lurked inside the crumbling building…

Coming soon!  Part 2 - Into the keep!!