Nightly Hell

Hi, my name is Jamie. I know what you are thinking, is this person a boy or a girl? Let me help you out: my full name is Jamie Elizabeth Stevens. Did you figure it out? Exactly, I am a 17 year old boy. I don't know why my parents named me this but they didn't do me any favors.

Almost every first day of school, the teacher would call my name and I would say here. They would always sigh and talk about how I wasn't being funny. They again would call Jamie Stevens and again, I would say here. They would get frustrated and ask, "So you are Jamie Elizabeth Stevens?" and I would need the class to back me up in order for them to believe me. One day, a substitute sent me to the principal's office because they didn't believe me.

Because my name was so girly and always caused a hassle, I had everyone call me Kevin or Kev. Why? Well because it isn't Jamie. I really don't know why but one day that was the name I picked and it stuck.

Anyways, the name is the least of my worries. About a seven months ago, our house caught on fire, so we were forced to stay in a motel for a few weeks. Oh- by we, I mean my mother, father, and my ten year old sister, Tyler (I know, my sister's name is more of a boy's name than mine- Tyler Lee Stevens).

However, my parents had been fighting for a while and this was the last straw. My father left, he went across the country and we haven't seen him since. Because we kind of relied on his income, we had to downgrade our lifestyle. Mom, Tyler, and I had to move into a 1 bedroom apartment.

This meant that Tyler and I had to share a room and mom slept on the couch. We all had to make sacrifices but I was not thrilled to have to share a room with my sister who was seven years younger than me. And since it was a small room, we had to limit our furniture. That meant we had bunk beds and had to share a dresser.

Mom did her best to accommodate both of us. I had to have the top bunk because my sister slept walked on occasion. Mom decided to split the room in half, so I got to choose how the top bunk was decorated and Tyler got to decorate the bottom half.

I chose to leave the walls white, with a poster of Andrew Luck- and that was it. I didn't have much because the fire took most of the stuff from my room. My sister on the other hand, barely lost anything. She had mom paint the bottom half pink, decorated with posters of pop singers, boy bands, and Disney characters. We also had to squeeze her bin of dress up clothes and toybox in our room.

Since she still had most of her clothes, the closet was dominated by her dresses,and the dresser was dominated by her clothes. I barely had enough clothes to have an outfit for everyday of the week. Mom promised to buy me more, but she uses her entire paycheck to pay bills and rent, so that hasn't happened yet. And honestly, her money should be used to buy a pull-out couch because she doesn't even have a bed, but I know as soon as we get extra, she will help me out first.


Sharing a room with my sister wasn't awful actually, but there were some downfalls. First, when I had friends over, they gave me a hard time about the decor. One time a friend wanted to borrow a pair of shorts and I told him where to find them. He opened the dresser drawer and pulled out one of my sister's skirts and asked if it was mine. Typical ribbing.

Secondly, my sister used to wear my dad's shirts, to bed. Since she doesn't have any of dad's, she now takes mine.

I don't mind, except that I don't have a lot of them. And because we don't have a lot of money, we only do laundry once a week. Luckily, I have enough shirts to last the week, even with Tyler taking them. I am not so lucky about my socks. I know that socks aren't the most expensive item; however, we don't have the money to swing them. All of our groceries are bought with government assistance that only pays for certain items and socks aren't on the list.

This wouldn't be so bad, if I didn't have to wear socks to be able to sleep. And instead of wearing my sweaty ones I wear all day, I like to put on a fresh pair. Of course, when I asked mom if we could do laundry twice a week to make this work, she told me it wasn't cost efficient and suggested that I just borrow my sister's because she has so many and it is only around the house.

I fought it but one night after laying down trying to sleep in the socks I wore all day, I gave in. I went to our dresser and grabbed two of hers. They weren't so bad and I fell asleep quickly. When I woke up, my sister noticed them and asked why I was wearing them. I told her why and she said I could borrow them anytime. So every night, I borrow one of her many (she always wants socks for her birthday, something I am going to ask for this year).

The only issue is their designs. Almost all of them are character socks and they are usually pink/purple or girly designed. Even her TMNT ones are pink. Another issues is that it is nearly impossible to find matches but since I only have to wear them at night/around the house, it was something I decided to live with.

This was the most embarrassing thing about me, for a while... but we will get to that later.

Not being able to wear his shirts to bed is not the worst way my dad leaving had effected my sister. She also began to wet the bed, apparently stress can do that. As a precaution, mom bought her nighttime protection, known as Goodnites.

Anyways, one night I went to a party and got super drunk. I snuck back inside and ended up wetting the bed. Of course, sharing a room with my sister and the laundry room being in the common area, I couldn't hide it. When mom asked what happened, I was stuck with one of two options, tell mom I got drunk or lie and tell her I didn't know why.

I chose the later first and she wondered if I was developing the same problem as Tyler. I promised her that I wasn't and she wanted to know how I knew. So I gave in and told her I was drunk. She grounded me and that was that- until Tyler came in.

She suggested that if we had the same problem, I should have to wear protection too. Mom told her that it wouldn't happen again and Tyler suggested that she wouldn't wet the bed again. No matter what mom said, Tyler argued it and said if I didn't have to wear Goodnites, then she didn't either.

Mom gave up and told me I had to wear them too. I began to argue but she said it would be like a punishment but at the same time, it will make my sister feel better.

The next trip to the store mom grabbed a package of Tyler's S-M Goodnites and a boy pair of L-XL ones for me. That is when she figured out that our government assistance only paid for one package per week. Since there were 14 in a pack, that meant there would be enough for me and Tyler to wear one every night, until she could buy more next week. She put Tyler's back and came home.

The L-XL ones were a little big for Tyler and they were snug on me but mom said we were going to have to make them work. Tyler complained about the boy designs and mom said she had a plan. This week we would share boy ones and next week we would share the girls L-XL ones.

That is when I had a new embarrassing fact about me.

I wore diapers to bed. And I had to follow the same rules as Tyler. Mom would check that I was wearing one before bed and then after breakfast check to see if we stayed dry. If she didn't check, she would just assume we were wet and trying to hide it.

During that week, Tyler had a sleep walking episode and dropped the microwave on her foot. That is when mom had another plan. She reversed the locks on our door. She didn't have to worry about Tyler hurting herself and if we needed to use the restroom we could just use the Goodnites, at least until Tyler stopped sleepwalking.

So now every night before bed, mom checks that we are wearing diapers, locks us in the room for the night, and we wear them until after breakfast. It is a nightly hell.

My sister thinks it is awesome and she is just trying to be nice but she makes things worse. Every time she comments on how cute my socks are or how cute we look in matching Goodnites, I die a little bit inside. I know her intentions are good, but I hate it.

One night, she had a friend come over- something I don't do because of my situation. Anyways, I went to be at like 7 to try to hide the fact that I wear diapers from her friend, I even wore a pair of my socks planning on wearing sandals without socks the next day. The plan worked, until the next morning. We all sat down at the breakfast table, like we do every evening. She asked Tyler if she was dry and she said she was. She did a quick peek and that was all it took. Her friends knew she wore Goodnites and wasn't phased.

"What about you Jamie?" mom asked out of instinct. I blushed and Tyler's friends blurted out, "No Way! Your brother wears diapers too?!?"

Before I could try to talk my way out of this situation, Tyler answered the question- revealing that I in fact did. Mom checked me because she already knew. I wasn't wet but I might as well been, it was humiliating.

Now every time that friend comes over, she always asks about my diaper. That was the only time somebody besides my mom and my sister found out. Hopefully it never happens again.