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Rated: E · Monologue · Other · #2092768
Just a thought, Just a rant. I don't know what it is. It's someone on my mind
         
          Constantly counting the days when I started to care. I cared for her and care for her today and I want to be a part of her life, but do I want to be a part of my own? I wonder about her almost every minute, maybe the solution is to wonder about myself.
          There is a certain vibe she gave off when I met her, maybe less than a vibe and more of an aura. Apparently she had a peach color around her, and I was close, I thought she was more of a sunshine. In my eyes she was. I also thought she was this innocent, gentle, and calm girl just playing her guitar. She is a tough women who knew who she was and what she loved. She surprised me in so many ways, and she still does, but now I want to surprise her. I've always wanted to surprise her with three words, but I felt like I never had the opportunity. Scratch that, I never knew when; I never knew when to be patient or to rush the moment when I do say it and now it's been maybe a year.
          Writing things like this where there is time involved just makes me feel sick inside, more like a morose sick. I'd much rather focus on where I am and who I am. Philosophers and new age writers(if that's what they call them) always advise to stay in the present and focus on today but It's a little hard for me to do that, so I want to start a little smaller, and focus on me, instead of HER. She is always on my mind, everything I do makes me think of her and the only things that take me out of the obsession is music. It's not that I don't like the fact that I think of her, I mean I really DO love thinking about her, but I don't want it to be to the point where I lose myself and all I see is her. I'll lose the me on the other side of the mirror.


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