Smoke Cigarettes

Smoke Cigarettes 
After tirelessly watching the hilariously ineffective cigarette commercials over and over and over again, on the only hour I have to catch up on my favorite sitcoms, I have reached the only reasonable conclusion: I need a cigarette. (No seriously, don't you have a light?) These redundant, insufficient, unsuccessful commercials make me feel uptight and practically burdened by it. What a pain. Paradoxically, this is why I need to unwind and why I need my quick cure: my cigarette and cafe (not to quote Otis). 
But you guys shouldn't smoke. If you're burned out go do yoga (about ten dollars a class) or just jog or you could mediate or read or do any of the other time-consuming, effort-consuming alternatives to smoking. But just don't smoke. Yeah, it's easy and effective and quick but it's "bad" for you. (If you haven't noticed I haven't begun my argument; I have begun my personification of the expectations of society, however.) Even though something is easy and fun you shouldn't do it. And if you want the same result, do the activity that will last ten-times longer and cost three-times more and doesn't become "fun" until you've built some kind of habit, which, research shows, last about sixty days to build up. Good news is you might live longer as a result, unless, of course, you get hit by a truck on your way out for a quick jog to "unwind" when you just could have been smoking a cigarette in the safety of your home. 
Truth is, I was walking from Brigham circle to Mass Eyes and Ear and I counted about twenty people enjoying, what seemed to be, their cigarette of the hour. Despite all the million dollars spent on anti-tobacco advertisement, people are still smoking and in the center of the most prestigious hospitals, in Boston. So my conclusion is that the general public just doesn't listen to the advice giving by the, kindhearted, media; in fact, they do the exact opposite. So allow me, a kindhearted individual, to impart advice to the general public, in hopes that they will don't the exact opposite of I tell the to do. Smoke cigarettes. Smoke as much as you want and have a small choice in your day-to-day lives. But don't let cigarettes control you; you are the president and CEO of the big tobacco because you are the most important piece to the puzzle: the consumer.