The Darkness

I’m a pessimistic loser face
I’m a lonely loner kid
Bright colors all around me
But all I want is black
Black, and maybe blood too
Blood lines tracing pain on my arms
Mapping out my quest
For a different sort of life
A relief from the pain
Making this a distant memory
But I can’t bring myself to do it
I must be blood-shy
I wish I could be the artist
I wish I had the courage
To paint with the flow of life itself
Paintings of pain
Paintings of loss and loneliness
Paintings of my soul
Why can’t I take initiative?
I hate myself more for this
I just can’t grab the needle
Just can’t pierce the skin
I want to scream
I want to run
Far, far away
Never to return
Too late now
I’m locked in this prison
Nothing can help me now it seems
I’m too far gone
I’m crazy
And not in the way I thought I was
I thought my individuality would work
I thought I would be loved
But again I am let down
And my life rests in my hands
But I won’t take it
That’s one thing I won’t do
But what can I do
To replace the pain
To remove the misery
The angst of it all