Anny and the Gang

The Rubik Cube

I’d like to start by telling you this isn’t a love story, but a story about how to effectively use a 1980’s Rubik cube. My god I hate those things! How did I get here? I’m pretty sure when I tried to chat to him earlier he totally shrugged me off, now I’m pissed, sat on his knee and he’s trying to teach me how to do a bloody Rubik cube. Urgh! What am I doing? This is not where I planned to be at age 20. High school was the worst, I somehow manged to get through college and now I’m living with a man I don’t love, in a job I hate and drinking as much apple sours as possible to hide the fact that I’m completely ‘effing miserable. I need to smoke. “I’ll come with you” Dave stuttered as I climbed off his knee. Bless him, he doesn’t even smoke. Maybe he is interested after all. I know, I know it’s wrong. I have a boyfriend, but them eyes. God he’s hot! The cold air slammed me in the face as I stumbled out the front door and I made a mental note to go check on Coleen when I got back inside, she was probably chucking up by now. It’s November and we’re at a house party celebrating Nadine’s 21st. There’s a few people huddled round the door filling the crisp winter air with nicotine. Dad keeps telling me I really shouldn’t smoke, but how else would I have escaped from that shit conversation inside. I sat down on the rusty metal bench that had been slung under the bay window and lit my cigarette with desperation. I shuffled left as Dave clambered onto the bench beside me. I’d met him before at parties and a few times down the pub, but this was the first time we’d actually sat and had a conversation. He’s quite sweet. If he hadn’t of been so drunk and I hadn’t of been totally ignoring what he was saying because I was purely focussing on the fact that he was gorgeous, it might of made for quite a romantic encounter. Never the less he leaned in and kissed me anyway. I was seriously considering hanging around, until my earlier stored mental note flashed to the front of my thoughts. Shit! Coleen.
I raced upstairs to the bathroom, it was locked. I took a bobby pin from my hair and wrestled with the cheap ikea lock, I mean it wasn’t the first time I’d had to do this. Every time! This girl is the bane of my life. For someone who is ‘hard-core’ and ‘can handle her drink’, she spends an awful lot of time wrapped around the toilet. Coleen and I have been friends since high school. We’re not your typical girly best friends. Our friendship is loosely based on alcohol, sarcasm and the desire to have at least one female friend who doesn’t stab you in the back. We have been a little bit hit and miss over the years as we’ve both joined other friendship groups. She often doesn’t approve of my other female friends and is convinced all other women are the spawn of Satan, but as she ever so lovingly puts it: “I always come back when the shit hits the fan.” At this moment in time, as I scoop her sweaty head off the toilet seat and place her into the recovery position once again, I really wish she hadn’t bothered coming at all. By the time I managed to re-join the party people had started to leave, and others were setting up camp in various corners of the house. I decided now would be an appropriate time to sneak up to Nadine’s room and change into my pyjamas. The beds were already full, so I slung my sleeping bag over my shoulder and scurried back down the stairs in the hopes I could bagsy myself a sofa. No such luck. Coleen had managed to drag her sorry arse off the bathroom floor and was now canoodling with some dude with an ear stretcher on the three seater, whilst dreamy green eyes seemed to be inhabiting the two seater. He caught my eye as I scuttled across the room. “Hey, we can share.” He slurred. I shrugged and curled up next to him. More fool him though if he thinks he’s getting lucky, the room was starting to spin. Anny out.

Safety Blanket

It’d been months since the party and since then Dave and I had been messaging on twitter. I enjoy my evening soak behind locked doors, waiting for his messages to come through. It’s the one time of day I feel I can actually have a decent conversation, with a human being that isn’t already involved in the hindrances of my mundane little life. We talk about silly things, like why has no one opened an adult ball pool with a bar? His experiments with hot dogs and spaghetti. He makes me laugh. Alongside the drink, it’s something to take my mind off things. Why I thought it was a brilliant idea to leave home at 17, I don’t know. I’ve thought about leaving Ted, but I can’t he’s my safety blanket, he’s all I’ve ever known. I just have to grin and bear it, I mean what else is there for me? I can’t be alone. God no and I have no intention of this thing with Dave going anywhere, I mean he’s way out of my league.
So its late summer and I’m off work for the summer holidays. Most of my friends, plus Ted are all working and once again I’m stuck home alone with the cats. Just when I was thinking about re-painting the hallway, a text came through from Dave. “What are you doing with your day? Fancy coming round, I’ll cook for you.” Never mind butterflies in my stomach, I feel like a butterfree has just fluttered by and consumed me! “Yes, what time?” I replied almost instantly and proceeded to the bedroom to lavish myself in beauty products and scavenge through my wardrobe in the hopes of finding something half decent to wear. As I left through the side door, I stopped in my tracks as I caught a glimpse of a picture of me and Ted hanging on the kitchen wall. I couldn’t do it, it was wrong to betray him like this. Yes I was unhappy, but not overcoming my fear of bursting out of my safe place, and sneaking around behind his back was not going to help the situation. My conscience hit me and she hit me hard, and I decided right then that I had to withdraw all contact from dreamy green eyes.
I saw him again obviously, I mean he’s close friends with Nadine and I’d somehow managed to wiggle my way into that friendship group. We were a little flirty occasionally at the pub, but that was it. He’s never pushed for anything more. I was good, I kept my distance. Well for a little while anyway. It was his birthday and a few of us were having drinks round at Jamie’s, Nadine’s other half. Everything was going swimmingly, until someone suggested strip poker. The game did not end well for me, and as I took my beetroot face and my belongings into the kitchen to get re-dressed, Dave ever so gentlemanly came in to help. “Want me to zip you up?” he muttered. “Please.” I hesitated, as my face turned from red to purple. I turned around to face him, there was a look on his face that I had never seen before. The butterflies in my stomach were back and before I knew it my lips were pressed against his. Oh god, I’ve done it again. This time was different though, we hadn’t consumed at least half the amount of alcohol we had during the last encounter. This time felt like more than just a drunken kiss. That kiss frightened the life out of me.