Missing you comes in this gigantic wave of pain. It doesn't happen often as I got used to the fact that we are not together anymore but when it does I drown in the thought of you. It takes all that's in me to not cry. The pain spirals out of control sometimes. A lot of things remind me of you, things like a box of granola bars or a sad song. The most random things make me think of you but that's what I have to deal with now. I constantly wonder how you are doing, how you are feeling or if you're thinking of me, if you miss me. Sometimes I pretend we are still together, that you didn't leave me. I don't get tired of saying that I miss you but I get tired of missing you. I'm tired. I'm tired of having conversations with you in my head, about what I'm thinking, about what's happening in my life. I'm tired of wanting to pick up the phone and tell you that I miss you. Sometimes missing you is a small hint of pain that happens throughout the day, a reminder that you do not want me any longer and sometimes it's a overwhelming burst of sadness that I'm trapped inside of and I can't think of anything else but you. They are both horrible. I don't understand how you can just stop caring about someone but they sure as hell can stop caring about you.
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