I Hate You But I Can't

I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, you weren't perfect,
and neither was I, but the love and friendship you used to give left me hurt and breathless at the same time.
I wish I could say 'I hate you' but I can't because for some reason,
I still wish I had a chance, to give you unconditional love,
even if you don't ask.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, because the feeling of remorse I get when I see you, brings the memories back.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, I know now that you really can't lose something that you never had.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, you deceived me to believe we could possibly have a chance.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, because I made the choice to let you use me as a doormat.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, because in a way when you left I lost a part of myself.
I wish I could say I hate you', but I can't, you broke my heart and left me shattered, broken and in despair.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, now that time has passed, I see that you lied without batting an eyelash.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't', the endless tears and agony and pain engulf me when I see you laugh.
I wish I could say 'I hate you', but I can't, I wish, I could scream and blame you and tell you that ''It was all your fault'', your fault that I cry late at night, and I can't trust others, your fault that I see the down side to things, and can no longer appreciate beautiful flowers, the reason I can't bring myself to believe that love can exist, the reason why my heart won't let anyone in, the reason I have never been the same, never had the same look of innocence, love, or bliss, the reason the hopeful spark in eyes is gone, the reason I can't stand to hear anymore love songs. I wish I could blame you for all these things and more, but the truth is, I'm the one that held open the door.