Dealing with Rattlesnakes

         We were cruising timber. For those of you who don't know what that means, it involves walking through the woods measuring trees all day—tree, after tree, after tree. If that weren't bad enough, these trees have a tendency to grow on the sides of hills. Big hills. Since you can't get trees to come to you, you have to climb to where they are. Finally, to make things truly awful, there are all kinds of nasty critters that call trees friend. Bears, and bees, and ticks, and deer flies, and an occasional moose might wander by looking for heaven knows what, and besides, you wouldn't really want to know anyway. But the nastiest of them all, though this is only a personal opinion, are rattlesnakes.
         On this particular day, four of us were cruising timber: myself, Darrell, Steve, and Buggs. The evolution of Buggs's name is interesting in itself, but that's another story. We had separated for a few minutes to measure trees in different areas in order to speed up the process, when all of a sudden we heard the sound of gunfire. We ran to where we heard the shots to find Darrel standing with a smoking hand gun.
         Darrel is a Native American. I only mention that because we were working on a Reservation and Native Americans were allowed to pack heat. So we expected to see him standing with a gun in his hand. What we didn't expect to find, at his feet, was a severely mutilated rattler. Rattler is the colloquial term for rattlesnake—you can't tell a story unless you use the correct jargon. One of us was bold enough to ask what happened.
         "What happened?" Darrel exclaimed. He seemed somewhat miffed. "I was taking a measurement on this tree. When I stepped back that (expletive deleted) rattler sunk his teeth into the bark where my ankle had been."
         Darrel paused, then simply said, "so I shot him."
         That sounded reasonable. Next question: "Darrel? Why did it take you six shots?" Darrel was a notoriously good shot.
         "Well," said Darrel, "he didn't rattle and that annoyed me."
         The point of this story is that if you are allowed to carry a hand gun and you meet a particularly annoying rattlesnake, it's acceptable to empty what you have into its silly little brain. I've even heard that a snake will bite at a bullet coming in its general direction, in effect committing suicide. However, if you are like most of us, the use of handguns is not an option. So, you need to find other means of dealing with these critters.
         Most people traverse fields and woodlands thinking they will never meet a rattlesnake. However, if you are an avid outdoor person, it is likely you will meet a rattlesnake at least once in your life. A number of species of rattlesnakes are distributed throughout the North American Continent. How you deal with a rattlesnake when you meet one tells a great deal about you, and may even save you considerable grief. There are only a few basic rules you need to remember.

Rule #1 Rattlesnakes are not evil creatures trying to drag you into hell.
         Believe it or not, most people can't seem to get beyond this fact. I suspect it has something to do with the "Garden-of-Eden" thing. The fact remains, though, rattlesnakes are a part of nature and are not out to get you. They actually shun human contact and problems only occur when humans aren't paying attention. Rattlesnakes like to sun themselves undisturbed (who doesn't), and try to safely hide between rocks. If you understand the habits of a rattlesnake, chances are your encounter will be only a brief sighting, rather than an troubling experience.

Rule #2 If bitten by a rattlesnake, don't panic.
         Yeah, right. I heard this one in a training session once, turned to the person next to me and said, "I hear one rattle and I'm getting excited." The truth is, though, practically all snake bites received by humans are not deadly. It takes a substantial amount of the snake's energy to produce venom, so it tends to use it sparingly. Snake bites inflicted on humans, at least those too big to swallow, are usually defensive in nature.
         Consequently, snakes rarely inject a lethal dose. Besides, a lethal dose for a rabbit or field mouse is very different from a lethal dose for a human. So it does pay to remain calm. The venom attacks the nervous system, but is distributed through the blood stream. By remaining calm you keep your heart rate down and slow the spread of the venom, more than enough to allow time to seek help and obtain suitable anti-venom available at almost any doctor's office, health center, or hospital.

Rule #3 It's never a good idea to throw dead rattlesnakes at your friends.
         Okay, so I could only think of two good rules to deal with rattlesnakes, but this one is useful to know. It happened to me once. One of my so-called friends found a dead rattlesnake and thought it a lark to pretend it was alive and threw it in my general direction. He is no longer my friend. If this were an article titled Rules for Making Enemies for Life, it would be rule number one. It's generally considered socially unacceptable to induce heart attacks in your friends.

         Just remember, snakes are not sinister. They serve a useful purpose and are one of nature's gifts. Treat them with respect, but not fear. Ultimately, the responsibility rests with humans. In southeastern Asia, where snakes are as plentiful as squirrels in North American trees, people venerate snakes because they kill the rodents that deplete their food supply. In doing so, they willingly accept frequent incidences of snake-bites to the people of their communities. Problems only occur when people are ill-informed or forget about the dangers. So, If you empathize with the place of rattlesnakes in the ecosystem, they will probably never harm you. At least not too badly.