Need an Alibi

He groped in his pocket for the key. Unlocking the front door as quietly as possible, he tiptoed into the living room on bare feet. Stumbling, he almost fell into the fireplace. Righting himself with a hand on the mantel, he took a deep breath and prepared an alibi.

I was on a business trip. Shaking his head, he thought, that won’t work, she would check with my boss. He scrubbed at his head, trying to clear his foggy mind. I met up with my brother who I haven’t seen in…nope! She would see right through that one.

He slid quietly towards the couch and half fell onto it. Maybe I can convince her that I got home just after she went to bed and didn’t want to wake her. He shook his head again, Nope, I already used that one. Not sure she bought it that time.

Maybe I should just tell her the truth for once, he thought. He held an imaginary conversation, “Honey, I know I promised never to do it again, but…. He smiled grimly. Yeah, THAT would go over well; she NEVER believed him even when he told the honest to goodness truth.

He took a mental inventory of his state of sobriety and checked his breath by blowing into his hands and sniffing quietly. Making a face, he popped a couple breath mints into his mouth and chewed slowly. He suddenly realized how quiet the house was. Usually, he could hear the sounds of her snoring or the creak of the bed as she turned over in sleep.

Taking a deep breath, he stood to his feet, only swaying slightly. He tiptoed across the floor and reached for the bedroom door. A sudden shaft of light from the window lit a photo taped to the door. Puzzled, he pulled it off the door and squinted at it. It appeared to be a fuzzy screen shot of a news report.

He opened the door and discovered an empty bed and open closet doors. She was gone! He quickly flipped the light on and stared at the picture. It was a picture of the news report and showed an out-of-focus picture of him leaving the bank with a large bag!

All that planning and he had forgotten there would be surveillance cameras!